Saitou Tokio  A life
by Mara-Amber
Summary: Saitou Tokio is telling about her meeting with Saitou Hajime during the revolution. Historical incorrect and rated for violence. Due to many requests a repost of my story written in 2002.
1. Chapter 1 Arrival

Standard disclaimers. You know I'm not Watsuki, I don't own Ruroken, Watsuki and some big name companies do. AND I'm not Nick Cave (but a fan). BUT: the characters and the story-line here is mine, I don't mind when you use them, but it would be nice to ask me FIRST. =^^=

First posted: January 1st 2002  
Revised: March 30th 2002  
Edited by Morgane: April 7th 2002  
Re-posted: April 18th 2002  
Second re-post: December 11th 2002  
Third re-post: April 28th 2010

IMPORTANT INFORMATION:  
This story is already finished, but it was rated NC-17 and was therefore removed from on October 12th 2002. As soon as I rebuilt my homepage, the original version will be available again, the lemon can't be posted here anylonger.

Historical correct? NO!

Furthermore I am not a native speaker, so mayor grammar and vocabulary mistakes might be ahead, hopefully you are not distracted by them.

Enough blabbering, on to the story =^^=:

**CHAPTER 1: ARRIVAL**

_I found her on a night of fire and noise_  
_Wild bells rang in a wild sky_  
_I knew from that moment on_  
_I'd love her till the day that I died_  
_And I kissed away a thousand tears_  
_My lady of the various sorrows_  
_Some begged, some borrowed, some stolen_  
_some kept safe for tomorrow_  
_On an endless night, silver stars spangled_  
_the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle_

words by Nick Cave (Do you love me?)

/

Today is June 26th, the 13th year of the Meiji era. I'm Saitou Tokio and I'm thirty years old.

I'd say it is a wonderful day, sitting in a room opened to a small Japanesestyled garden, in the middle of our house. Hearing our children's play and feeling the warm summer-sun on my skin. Times haven't always been this peaceful.

I will tell you some episodes of my life and I will start with the day I met Saitou Hajime. One of many fateful events, but this was the most cutting one. The one, that changed my further life more than any other day. Looking back, I'd say it was destiny, we were destined for each other and our meeting was something that could not be avoided.

Everything started when I reached Kyoto at late afternoon in May 1867.

/

'What a beautiful city,' I thought, looking over it from a hill. I dusted of my hakama and kimono, arranged my swords and entered the streets of Kyoto. In those days of chaos and bloodshed I always travelled as a Samurai, it was safer. I preferred being killed within a fight than being raped and killed afterwards.

The box with my belongings was settled on my back and it was getting heavy. Of course, I did not own many things, but I carried the box all the way from Osaka and with the time the weight lasted on my shoulders. I decided to drop it in the house I was told to go and stay for the night. The house was in the Mibu district of Kyoto, I had been ordered here by the family who had sheltered me last year, to take part in an arranged marriage meeting.

Although I didn't like the idea being married to a foreigner, I had agreed and joined in. I'm afraid my education about obligations, honour and tradition was too strict. To be honest, the thought of stepping out of an arranged marriage never occurred on my mind. There would be some other women, we would be introduced to the suitor and his "boss" would choose the woman fitting to him. There was a good chance he would take one of the others.

After wandering around and asking some passer-bys for the right way, I reached Mibu and spotted the house, the Shinsengumi headquarters, which was comfortable and large. In the basement was a kitchen, a ceremony room, an eating room and a bit separated a bath-house. In the back was a wonderful Japanese garden with arranged stones and water floating out of a spring. And a large dojo, of course, being the house of a "military" organisation.

The rooms for the men and their families living here were upstairs, obviously only some more important members of the organisation were residing here. Being a visitor, pretending to 'prepare' the room for the woman arriving later, I got a guest-room near the dojo, it was space enough to put down my box and to unfold the futon I was given.

I had some time left, the meeting would be in the next morning and I decided to have a look around Kyoto. The sun was settling down as I wandered through the streets again. It seemed so peaceful, despite the fact we were in the middle of a revolution, the end of the Tokugawa era.

Deep in thoughts I walked down an isolated street as I heard a woman's scream. I shrieked of my dreams and rushed forward, I had been so absent-minded, that it had passed my attention that it was already dark.

There they were, two women, threatened by six guys of the Ishinshishi as I could tell from their clothes. The women's kimonos were sliced, two of the men were approaching them, the other four obviously already had their pleasure.

These bastards! A raping was something I was not able to ignore. I felt my blood lust building up and drew my katana.

"Fight me!" Taking an offensive stance I challenged them. They turned around facing me, realised I was serious and rushed forward against me.

At that point I got pissed off. No honour, all attacking at once, no strategy or order in their attack, they seemed to be low ranked. I figured out quickly, that they were no match for my sword-fighting skills, there would be no need for my wakizashi, no need for a special attack.

"Kya!" I took the offensive, leaping over the first one in full speed, kicking him my foot in the face, feeling his face bones cracking. He was prepared to defend my katana, not my foot. I turned around in midair, raised my sword and slammed it down on the second man, slaying him from right shoulder to left hip. Blood was spreading. I landed on my feet, challenging the other men.

Seeing my first move, they seemed a bit more aware, realising I was a threat. I attacked again, moving my katana from bottom to top through the third man, cutting him up from stomach to throat. I twisted my sword a bit and rushed it down on the forth man right through the middle of his head, while kicking the fifth in the throat what finished him. Not completely. I used my katana again. They were too shocked to even defend their-selves.

Bad luck that I was around, while they tried to commit a crime (a crime in my eyes, of course). Blood spilled everywhere now. I lifted my sword and licked away some blood, while staring at the last man standing. His eyes panicked, but not for long, a second later I decapitated him.

I cast a glance around for the women, they had disappeared, a wise decision. Turning back to the limp corpses I told them what I thought about men like them.

"Justice is to slay evil immediately, remember!" Suddenly I noticed the obvious presence of two more men, I had sensed them already before. They had been there during the fight, but stayed hidden and I had decided to ignore them. I took out a cloth to clean my sword while speaking to them. "You can come out now!"

They stepped out of the shadows that had hidden them before, allowing me to have a closer look at them. Light-blue haori with white triangles on the sleeves. I recognised them by description: The wolves of Mibu.

There was rumour nobody could tame one, I was alarmed but showed a cool expression to them, re-sheathing my swords.

"What an impressive fight, boy." One came a step closer. He was tall, long black hair bond in a high pony-tail. I took a closer look on his face. Small, amber eyes, sharp features and a deceitful expression around his lips. I bet at that point most people would have run as fast as they could to escape him, but to me he looked damn attractive. His fighting spirit and blood-thirstiness nearly let the air around him explode.

But stop! What did he say? BOY? IMPRESSIVE? A bad joke? I shot a death glare at him, always aware of hiding my eyes. They would betray me everywhere, being of an intense green colour.

"Don't call me boy again, DOG. And don't try to be funny. That was impressive as a cup of tea. You are making a fool out of you." 'Was I gone nuts? Tokio, he is dangerous!'

His eyes began to gleam in the darkness of the street. "Insulting a miburo in his district, at night time, slaughtering men. You are  
really courageous or stupid to no end, SQUIRREL." He prepared to fight.

'SQUIRREL? What was that for? A second bad joke? Oh, there are two of us, remember!' I longed for my swords.

"Ma,ma. Calm down." The second man interfered and stepped between us. He was smaller, brown haired and he had a baby-face for sure. "No need to kill each other here. If we would have wanted, we had interfered earlier."

The taller man relaxed, baby-face seemed to have a strong influence on him.

"Remember, we are still looking for men like him." Baby-face addressed sharp-face and sharp-face's will to fight fainted, not completely. He even smiled at me, but I still remarked a sarcastic expression.

"You are right, Okita-kun. Would you join us with sake and soba, SQUIRREL?" His smile got wider and my feeling of lust to punch him my fist in his face grew stronger.

I still didn't understand the squirrel-thing and this self-content grin was annoying. But my need for sake and soba was stronger than my need to fight, besides, it would be quite interesting with these two. My third thought was, that sharp-face would kill me if I refuse.

I nodded my head, only a little bit, I didn't want to lower myself too much. "Yes!"

Sharp-face laughed out loud. "You are a courageous SQUIRREL. Don't try your luck." I felt anger rising up.

"Ma,ma." Baby-face managed to calm us down again. "Maybe we should introduce ourselves. This is Saitou Hajime-san, leader of the Shinsengumi squad three, and I am Okita Soushi, leader of the Shinsengumi squad one." Indeed, quite high ranks. I should bow lower. Next time.

"I am Takahashi Toki from Osaka." Using my male name I bowed back.

"What are you doing in Kyoto, Takahashi-kun? You have Samurai swords. Are you a Ronin?" Saitou inquired. He was really insisting and annoying, but he did not ask for my travel-pass or another identification.

"No, I'm not a Ronin. I was sent to Kyoto by my father to participate in a meeting here, which is none of your business." I decided it was wise to give them a bit information, but not too much. Hopefully he would not investigate further.

Much to my luck, Okita coughed and distracted Saitou from his investigation by this. "We should look for a place in a pub." Okita suggested, Saitou longed in his sleeve, revealed a cigarette and lightened it.

"ONE of your bad habits, ne?" I gave it a sarcastic under-tone.

"My habits are none of your business. I really start to like you, SQUIRREL." Saitou answered in an icy tone. I felt my jaw dropping to the ground, he can't be serious, he makes jokes about me! IDIOT!

"Let's go." Okita waved Saitou and me indolent to follow him.

The pub was in the same street as the house, at which I was staying, how lucky. The place was crowded, but with two wolves of Mibu, one looking scaring, we found a free recess. To be precise, Saitou stared at the men sitting there, just for a second, and they left. I started to like him, he was not only attractive, but impressive also.

We ordered sake and soba and began to drink, talking about politics, the way of a samurai, bushido. They tried to figure out my attitude, but it was not my intention to choose a side in this revolution. I wanted justice in my way. Kill evil immediately, the way of a samurai. As long as I could pretend to be male, of course.

During our discussion Okita started to look worse and began to cough harder, some time later, he stood up. "You have to excuse me, I must have a rest, Takahashi-kun. It was a pleasure to meet you and I hope, we meet again." He nodded, I bowed. "The same to you, Okita-sama."

Alone with Saitou, it started to get interesting. We ordered more sake, and despite the fact the place was crowded, the sake arrived in no time. He was smoking one cigarette after another during our conversation and he made no effort to stop either drinking or smoking. I felt the alcohol in my veins and liked him more.

"What about women?" I started to get private.

Taking a deep, voluptuous drag of his cigarette, he gained his bored expression "Nothing interesting. Just a short pleasure. They can't even handle a sword."

You are completely wrong, guy. I raised an eyebrow questioning.

"Go to a brothel, pay money, have your pleasure and leave. Nothing worth a second thought." He flicked the ash from his cigarette to the floor.

I had to cough and he turned his attention to me. "I meant the handling of a sword, excuse me."

"Oh, I see, you are still too young, SQUIRREL!" There he goes again, teasing me. "I mean, have you ever seen a woman handling a sword?"

This guy was completely clue-less. Before I could answer, a brawl came up the next table. One man drew his sword and cut another from shoulder to hip, Saitou took another delightful drag of his cigarette. Blood spread over the place, people jumped up, screaming, it crowded. He flicked away some ash from his cigarette.

Looking in my cup I saw the clear liquid intermingling with a thicker, red one. "There is blood in our sake." What mattered, it was still sake, I swallowed it with one gulp.

"You know," he smiled,"I really like you." raising his cup and drinking his bloodied sake "Bring a woman inside here and you scare her to death. There is no fun in that. They can't handle a little bit violence and blood. Too sentimental. And this romance stuff, boring to death! I prefer being killed by a sword and not by boredom.""

The brawl around us began to settle down, they dragged the dead man out. We continued to drink, Saitou continued to smoke, of course. I liked him more. When I started to imagine his hands running across my body and to feel over-sexed, I decided it was time to leave and stood up.

Oooo, the world was turning, or was I? Saitou stood up in front of me, eyes clouded, he seemed a bit out of his way. I nearly fell down the step from our recess to the ground, but I managed to grab Saitou's kimono and re-gained control. I stayed clinched to him, it was safer. He was not turning after all, like the restaurant was.

"That was more than I can handle." I resumed hardly.

"I was surprised how much you are able to handle, SQUIRREL!"

Huh, he was speaking a bit "unclear", he was obviously drunk, too. He laid an arm around my shoulder, over-sexed as I was, it felt wonderful.

"Where are you staying, SQUIRREL?"

'IDIOT! What's that squirrel-shit about? Attractive or not, I can take of myself!' "Just down the street. Can manage alone."

"Oh, you don't look so."

I had to sneak in. And with him around, I had no chance to do so. For a second I considered to knock him out. To stay realistic, I had no chance to succeed. In this condition, no chance. I stiffened, stood upright, determined. Still wondering why everything turned and doubled. Analysis. Advanced stadium of alcohol consume. VERY BAD. I started to walk in one direction.

"Wait, squirrel-boy. I have the same way." He caught up uncoordinated. I let myself drop against his chest, relieved I had a fixed point in the turning world, not bothering anymore about the squirrel and boy.

"I think I can give you some guidance", I offered him.

"You are welcome." He smirked recognising my offer for what it was, a lie, and laid an arm around me. We walked down the street arm in arm, better: he dragged me down the street until he stopped in front of an house.

"Here's my place." Could it be? It was the house I was staying at! My eyes nearly bulged of their sockets. 'Tokio, you are an idiot sometimes. You should have realised earlier.'

"Oooo, mine is only a few steps away. I can walk alone." I forced him to enter the house, by pushing him in the direction, he looked weird back at me.

"Really?"

"Yes!" I was lucky, that he was too drunk for a discussion, I had trouble forming a clear thought. The alcohol, I can tell you!

"So desu ka? I hope we meet again." 'Huh, that is for sure, Saitou.'

"Have a nice sleep, Saitou-sama."

I bowed and was relieved when he finally entered and closed the door. Before I sneaked in, I waited for few minutes to be sure not to run into Saitou.

It was a miracle I wasn't discovered, drunk as I was. Seeing my futon, I happily dropped everything including myself and fell asleep.

/

I hope you all liked it, I'll put up the following fourteen chapters ASAP.


	2. Chapter 2 Meeting and decision

First posted: January 3rd 2002  
Revised: March 30th 2002  
Edited by Morgane: April 7th 2002  
Re-posted: April 19th 2002  
Second re-post: April 28th 2010

**CHAPTER2: MEETING AND DECISION**

_L is for LOVE, baby_  
_O is for ONLY you that I do_  
_V is for loving VIRTUALLY everything that you are_  
_E is for loving almost EVERYTHING that you do_  
_R is for RAPE me_  
_M is for MURDER me_  
_A is for ANSWERING all of my prayers_  
_N is for KNOWING your lover-man's going to be the answer to all of yours_

words by Nick Cave (lover-man)

/

The next morning I woke up with a terrible headache. Today was the marriage meeting I was asked to come for to Kyoto. I supposed my duties would never end, family honour. I called for help and two girls appeared, bowing their heads deep. "You asked for us?"

"Please help me dressing, arranging my hair and doing my make-up."

The girls seemed to be nice. We giggled a lot while they helped me into the one formal kimono I owned, simple dark green with golden blending and a yellow obi. They admired the expensive silk, it was REALLY expensive. It had taken me one month terrorising my parents persuading them that a dark green colour is suitable for a young woman's kimono.

Huh, my head ached with every movement of mine. There had something important happened yesterday evening, but what? Blackout. I was not able to recall the evening.

We needed some time to arrange my hair and to white my face. I finished with red colour on my lips and black around my eyes. I hated this formal things, I still do!

Of course, I liked to wear a kimono. I was sure to be admired and I loved that, but I hated this hair-arrangements and make-up stuff. On top of this annoying dressing, I had a hangover. And a blackout. The last thing I recalled was the turning world as I stood up from the recess in the pub.

Suddenly the sliding door opened without any announcement, the marriage broker standing in it.  
"Come, they are waiting. They are important people, so hurry up."

I took a last checking glance in the mirror, I had problems recognising myself with this tons of make-up.

All I knew about this, was that the Shinsengumi looked for a woman to marry one of their leaders. Something like a reward for doing a good job and a "birthday present" from the boss. The samurai family close to my father thought it was a fair chance for me and a good opportunity for them to get rid off me. Being only half Japanese and no relatives left, I thought they were right.

My father had been a member of an important family. But marrying a French woman was something his family couldn't accept, the country was still closed to foreigners and he was dishonoured. I had been lucky that a friend of him cared for me, after my parents were slaughtered.

I registered that I stood in front of the ceremony room by now. Ooo, my hangover. '_They have a lot of influence, so be cheerful, Tokio._' I reminded myself, put on a small smile and entered, head bowed. Common Japanese stone-face, revealing no emotion to the men inside the room.

"This is Kobayashi Tokio." The marriage broker announced. I felt everyone glancing at me. "You are allowed to step closer and sit down here."

This was possibly the most embarrassing situation I faced in my life so far, but I was strong and would keep the facade. I came closer with very small steps and sat down with the most elegance I was able to master. I kept my eyes still locked to the ground and felt two familiar kis. Could it be? Oh my god! I had short pieces of memories from yesterday evening.

"She is 17 years now. Grown up in Osaka and well educated. She can read and write. She is the outcome of a marriage between a samurai of the Kobayashi-family in Osaka and a French merchant's daughter." The broker 'praised' me to the men. Embarrassing! In this second I decided, that this was my last duty to my father's friend and the so-called 'honour' of our family.

"Besides" I could almost see his wide grin, "She is still a virgin. She will cost some more than the others."

Embarrassing indeed! But quite interesting! My education and my virginity cost more? How could they know?

"And look at her. She is a beauty, you have to admit! Because of her mother, she has green eyes. Striking exquisite." Was I a chunk of meat? Measured over my virginity?

"Raise your head." One of the Shinsengumi demanded.

Oh, my god, I didn't want to. But I lifed my head and looked directly in Okita's face. HEART-ATTACK! I had seen this coming since I had noticed the kis. No chance of escaping. I had promised, I would join.

The broker was sitting on the left side of the table, Okita opposite from me. Saitou and someone I did not know and no-one had considered worth introducing to me sat on the right side. They seemed to be fascinated by my eyes,

Saitou's small amber eyes narrowed suspiciously. Did he recognise me? The light in the pub had been very dim and I had paid attention to hide my eyes. I was sure Okita had no idea, he had left too early.

"How much more?" The one I did not know spoke again.

Yen signs appeared in the eyes of the broker, Okita stared at me. Did he recognise me? Saitou regained his bored expression and lightened a cigarette. Aa, I thought I smelled the smoke. Damn hangover! "Five hundred more."

This was really shaming! They all bowed their heads in consideration, five hundred was a large sum. If I had known earlier about this, I could have made some money.

"You will have a lot more fun with this one, she is worth it. She is so exquisite exotic!" He tried to push them with a dirty grin "And she is still untouched!" casting a lascious glance at me he finished.

Bastard! This was DEFINITELY my last meeting for a marriage.

But his words worked. They seemed to be pleased. Clapping his hands the unknown Shinsengumi stood up "I will decide this afternoon which one we take. The ceremony and celebration will be in one week. We have to rush a bit, I apologise." They intended to leave, ignoring me kneeling on the floor.

Stop! This was embarrassing enough for me. I might be a woman, what did not mean much in these times, I had to admit. But I hated to be ignored and sold like a cow.

"I'm sorry. Wait, please!" I said, they all stared at me, I lowered my eyes and stared on the floor. "I want to know who you are and who the candidate is, please."

I bowed deep, my forehead on the ground, the broker seemed shocked about my dare, I could  
feel it. He obviously thought he had lost the money, because of my rude behaviour.

But the one Shinsengumi I did not know, calmed him. "I understand."

Lifting my head I waited for his introduction. I would have never admit it, but I hoped it would be Saitou.

"This", he pointed to Saitou "is Saitou Hajime-san, leader of the Shinsengumi squad three." Respectfully we both bowed.

"This is Okita Soushi-san, leader of the Shinsengumi squad one. We are looking for a wife for him." Okita bowed, not aware of the fact that he had introduced himself to me yesterday.

"I am Kondou Isami, the head of the organisation." I bowed deeper to him, nearly kissing the floor. So it was Okita, I had almost trouble hiding my disappointment.

They had enough money, they would probably pay the 500 yen more. THIS WAS NOT MY DAY. Virgin and well educated this might be important to them.

I turned my face to Saitou. He leaned at the entrance, taking a deep drag from his cigarette negligently, he seemed not to be interested in the stuff going on around him. Did he recognise me? Okita did not, that was sure.

"Thank you very much." I bowed deeply again and left the room in the most polite and graceful way I was able to perform, passing Saitou.

What a mess! It would be wise to stay in the house until evening. My first expedition through Kyoto yesterday had almost caused a heart-attack today. I was smart, I knew that, but I wanted to meet a certain swords-smith. Someone back in Osaka had told me he made and sold the best swords in Japan. I have never been able to control and deny my passions. As smart as I was, I was not able to resist the call.

I bond my hair in a high pony-tail, it was raven black and very long, it was one of the things I was proud of. I washed away the rice-powder in my face and dressed in my hakama and kimono again, arranged the swords.

I did not want to try my luck more than necessary and maybe run into one of the Shinsengumi, I sneaked out. I needed some time to figure out where the swords-smith was, but finally I found him. He exhibited some knifes at the street, I tested one, it was excellent. The best work I had ever seen, if I had money, I'd have loved to buy one.

"The best knives and swords in town, Takahashi-kun." Someone spoke to me from behind. I shrieked and let the knife drop. Saitou. Did he follow me? Did he know?

Turning around, facing him once more, aware of hiding my eyes I smiled at him. "Aa, it's you again! The tamed dog. Good morning." I prayed he would not recognise me.

"Nice knife." He inspected the one I had dropped. What, no BOY or SQUIRREL?

"Yes, indeed", I knew that! I had to leave quickly otherwise he might eventually find out who I really was "Would you please excuse me? I'm in a hurry, I promised to be back soon." To be precise, I just wanted to escape him. I was nuts to sneak outside only to see the swords-smith. What a risk!

"Wait" he hold me back with one hand on my shoulder "Join us this evening with sake and soba?"

"I'm afraid I have to refuse. Duties." My God, please!

"Yes, I see, maybe next time."

"Bye." Why did he want me to join?

On the way back, I checked from time to time if someone was following, there was no one. I managed to sneak in and changed in a woman's kimono. I owned only a few things beside my clothing. The swords of my father and a small, silver butterfly hairpin from my mother, made in France. And some books, of course. I loved reading, it was relaxing and different from fighting.

Feeling comfortable I settled down with a book, started reading, than I heard the broker approaching, clapping his hands.

"Yes?" I answered.

He entered, interested glancing at the book in my hands. "They want to have a second meeting. Informal, this evening."

Informal? Without traditional hair-arrangements and face-powder? This evening? No way. They would recognise me. "I can't consent."

Without batting an eyelid he accepted my answer, obviously this was not the first time he had to deal with a woman like me. "You have to. You promised, you can't dishonour your family by stepping out now."

He was really afraid of losing the money, but he was right. I promised. I bowed in agreement. I knew when I had to admit defeat.

Not very much later I stood in front of the sliding door clapping in my hands. This was it. Execution. When hearing the permission to enter I did, with trembling hands. Only Kondou was kneeling in the room. Relief. After I settled down facing him, we stayed quiet for some time.

"Could you hand me some tea?" he finally spoke. Aa, there we go! Wanted to test my preparing and serving qualities. Due to my education it was no problem, the tea had already been prepared, I only had to serve it. I actually loved tea ceremonies. The silence and peace was pure meditation.

"You understand", he sipped his tea. "I want to be sure, before spending so much money."

"I understand." I whispered, I really did. But I was not prepared for the following conversation.

"Why did you consent to this marriage?" He wanted to know, watching me furtively.

"Because of my parents." He remained silent, he wanted to hear more.

"They were killed one year ago. A friend of my father took care of me. Three months ago he told me about this and that he wanted me to take part."

"Why did you agree?" He inquired. Silly, honestly I did not had a chance to decline, he knew that.

"Duty. Honour."

He raised an eyebrow. "Don't you think that the reason for a marriage should be love?"

Did I have to answer? "No. This is an arrangement. Both sides know that." Honestly I replied.

We sat facing each other, stone-faced for some minutes. I decided it was the right time to sip at the tea.

"You will have to give up sword-fighting, you know."

Shocked I spat the tea back in the cup. He caught me off guard. This was the real reason for the conversation and I was a fool enough to assume different. No chance of denying. I had already revealed too much of my emotion in front of him, Kondou was not stupid. Did Okita and Saitou recognise me?

"How did you know?"

"I knew your father. He was a very traditional and honourable man. He made only one mistake: He fell in love with your mother and married her. Definitely a mistake. It cost their both lives. I won't say it was a mistake to teach you using the swords, but he risked a lot by that. Training a daughter, a female."

"He wanted that I can protect myself. He knew, I will always have problems, because of my origins." I felt the need to defend my father's decisions.

Kondou sipped at his tea. "I always respected your father." He hesitated, sipping again "Because of that, I can't agree with the marriage."

I was shocked to the bones "Why not?"

"I realise, by knowing your father and mother, you have their spirit. You have too much passion and obsession lying inside. Maybe you think you can go through this, but believe me: You can't. You are cold-blooded when it comes to killing, but you are not cold-blooded about love. Okita-san is not the right man for you. You would leave him. I'm sure, you know that. You can't refuse and step back, so I have to do that."

He was really sharp. I started to like him. "But,.." I began, but he waved his hand indicating me to stay quiet.

"Marry Saitou-kun instead." My cup fell to the ground, Kondou was sharper than assumed. I would find out later that he was a genius and VERY good-hearted man. I had never met someone like him in my whole life again.

"But,.."

"It would be the best decision, Tokio. Your spirits and your believes are the same." He smirked, "I'm afraid your passions and obsessions also."

"Does he know?"

"Yes, I talked with him short before you came."

"What did he say?"

"He consented. In one week. Will you approve also?"

I felt the world fainting and gave my agreement.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Author's notes:

I have no idea about money and the value of it in good, old Japan!

Ja ne,

Mara  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	3. Chapter 3 Confrontations

First posted: January 9th 2002  
Revised: April 19th 2002  
Edited by Morgane: May 2nd 2002  
Reposted: May 2nd 2002  
Reposted (tame version): December 17th 2002

Re-post: April 28th 2010

mmmmm, NOW.... in this chapter there was the first lemon.... I admit it... I didn't invest TOO much work into this 'tame'-version, I highly doubt that the whole story makes sense WITHOUT the lemons... they belong to the character-development.  
But still... this is my favourite fic and it breaks my heart to simply remove it =^^=. 

**CHAPTER 3: CONFRONTATIONS**

_She was given to me to put things right  
And I stacked all my accomplishments beside her  
Still I seemed so obsolete and small  
I found God and all his devils inside her  
In my bed she cast the blizzard out  
A mock sun blazed upon her head  
So completely filled with light she was  
Her shadow fanged and hairy and mad  
Our love-lines grew hopelessly tangled_

words by Nick Cave (Song: "Do you love me?", CD: "Let love in")

Deep in thought I headed back to my room. Kondou knew my father? Interesting. Did he know that I was one of women offered here? He figured out my blood-thirstiness, for sure, what else?

Hesitating in my path I thought about the marriage a bit longer. I had never allowed a man to touch me without my permission, before that I would have killed him. In this point I had always been independent, but Saitou had an effect on me. I had realised it yesterday in the pub and feared that I would not be able to control it, this was going to be an obsession, an addiction.

Reaching my room I noticed someone in it, only one possibility. RIGHT. As I shoved the shouji aside, I saw Saitou kneeling near the opposite wall, reading in one of my books, making no intention to look up or to move, indicating that he registered my presence. Sniffing about the air in the room, I turned my full attention on him and I discerned the cigarette in his hand. He was smoking! Sitting in my room! Reading one of my books! How dare he!

"Good evening, Saitou-sama. Please, feel free and make yourself a home", I was not able to stay polite and to suppress a cynic under-tone. I would never learn and feel comfortable with the lack of privacy in this country.

"Nice conversation with Kondou-sama?" He raised his head and met my eyes.

"Quite interesting"

Amused he longed behind his back, revealing my father's swords. "Look, what we have here."

My face paled, he had my full attention. MY FATHER'S SWORDS!

Smirking he took the katana, raised it in front of his eyes, un-sheathing it a little, pretending to inspect it. He was playing with me! He couldn't tell me that he hadn't already figured it out. "These are named swords!" He stated after a close look.

The last drop of blood left my face, I had to keep myself together, not to lose self-control. "HAND BACK MY FATHER'S SWORDS." I emphasised every word with the most determined voice I was capable of without letting my violent temper surface.

Concentrated, knitting his brow he draw the katana and made a few practise swings. "It is an ancient one, it feels comfortable. The swords-smith was a master." He summarised his impression.

"HAND THEM BACK!" I stepped closer, closer to losing my control. Who did he think he was? This was still MY room and MY swords.

Bending over me, standing threatening near, he spoke directly in my face, I felt his breath on my skin "What are you hiding behind this disguise of yours, Tokio-san?"

That snapped me back to reality before he handed the sword back. He was beginning to play with me! To control my emotions! I would not let this happen!

"What about the sake now?" Sarcasticly smiling he leaned back.

That was it. Something clicked once more, he knew fairly well how to handle me. "Let's go!" I needed sake, right now. I would give him some lectures. Later.

Making efforts to go outside I was restrained, he had grabbed my wrist, holding me back. "I misjudged you!"

"What?" What the hell was he talking of?

"You are not a squirrel. They are harmless."

THAT WAS IT! He was so in for it! Harmless! He thought I was harmless when I was fighting? He would pay for that! He was damn right, he misjudged me and he still did. "You haven't seen my claws yet."

I managed to get my wrist back with a slight turn of my arm and to go outside. I didn't look back, but I was sure that he finally stopped smoking in my room. Beginning to realise who I am, Saitou?

/

The place was crowded, but with the same procedure as last night, we managed to get a recess. I ordered udon this time, it was delicious. The sake too, of course. Not necessary to mention that.

I registered the furtive glances cast in our direction and felt a bit uncomfortable, like I always felt when being in a place like this as a woman. Deep inside I knew exactly what Saitou was up to, going here with me.

And really, directly after finishing our meal he stood up. "Excuse me for a moment." and left the pub to the yard.

Not a minute later, the first man approached me. His intention was obvious, thinking a Shinsengumi picked up a cheap street whore and he could take advantage of this. I saw a dead man walking. Men, too stupid to realise when it is wise to hold back desires. Especially when drunk.

"How much?"

I looked up at him wide-eyed, pretending not to know what he was talking about. He gasped and I saw lust coming in his eyes. Guy, you are dead, realise that!

"I pay everything." Visibly my eyes were attracting him.

"You can't afford. Believe me." Concentrating back on my sake I decided to tell him the truth. His life was a high price for just TALKING with me.

To emphasise his words he grabbed my upper arm "You didn't hear right. I said anything."

Alarmed I looked at his hand. He touched my arm! How dare he! No one touches me without my  
permission! More men stepped closer, gathered, interested. Stubborn morons altogether.

Disdainful I flicked his arm away, "You are the one who did not understand. I said YOU CAN'T AFFORD."

Still he was not giving up, standing beside me and I prepared to fight. My swords were in my room, I left them behind, but Kempo would be enough to finish him. Unfortunately I was wearing a kimono which limited my room to move considerably.

"Leave her!" Just in this moment Saitou came back, his sword already drawn and I settled back. We would have bloodied sake again for sure and I concentrated on my cup. A sword was better than using hands and feet, so I would let him have his fun. Furthermore his blood-thirstiness and need to see blood was tangible for me.

"How much do you want for her?" Shocked I spat the sake over the place. Oh my God, how stupid can one human be? This man obviously preferred to die. Did he not realise that Saitou wanted to see blood? His blood? He was not realising his mistake, as some of the other men.

"Come on, she is enough for us both." O, getting worse. Did he want to get tortured before his death? Unknowingly he begged for it.

Surprised I watched Saitou cutting his throat, this was a quicker ending than I expected after his ill-considered statements before. Saitou paused a second before driving his sword through the second man from the left shoulder to right hip. Guts coming out, this smelled always so bad, ruining every taste.

I turned up my nose, relieved that my udon was finished. That smell would have ruined the taste indeed. By now, most of the men had been wise enough to settle down in their recesses. Re-sheathing his sword Saitou knelt down facing me, laying his swords next to him. I had never seen this technique before. Holding the katana in the left hand, at the very end. This looked damn good, sexy and I felt myself being attracted by him as the evening before.

"Idiot! No one will touch what is mine." He summarised the situation and his interpretation of it.

Attentive to his words I stopped my sake-cup in mid-air. Since when I was his property? Of course, we both agreed to the marriage, but this did not mean that I was his. Not yet. "I'm not yours. Nobody can own me. I decide who touches me and who not." He had to learn some lessons.

"Oh, is that so, kitten?" He lightened a cigarette negligently. We would discuss this later, my boy.

Turning my attention down at my kimono I felt displeasure spreading, what a mess! It was my yellow one!

"Was that necessary? You ruined my kimono." I accused him, but he just raised an eyebrow, pretending not to understand. "You did this on purpose! There was no reason to leave the room!" I precised my accusation.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." What? Did I hear right? Without his sarcastic under-tone this would have been an excuse. But in this way? HE WOULD PAY!

His fighting spirit had already attracted me too much, it was too intense. It was getting hot inside. I was drunk.

We emptied one more pitcher before we left, a bad mistake. We walked down the street arm in arm, behind us, people were staring and whispering. A man and a woman! Arm in arm! In the public! I bet they thought that I was a whore. Hey, I'm from an important samurai-family in Osaka! What mattered that they dishonoured my father!

I was over-sexed as last evening and there was nothing I could do about it, drunk and exited as I was. We arrived in front of the house and I decided it was time to lecture him and have some fun. "Why did you agree to the marriage? You said women are only a short pleasure!" Winking I started.

He shrugged his shoulders and stated in a plain voice "Kondou-sama asked me and I assented to it."

This was not what I wanted to hear, even when he was not sarcastic or ironic this time. Realising I had to be more precise, I raised on my tip-toes to reach his ear and whispered "Take your pleasure in me."

He figured out what I was up to, I felt the hair in his neck raising and threw my hands around it. He must have realised, that I was serious and not as innocent as everybody assumed. He would find out soon how innocent I really was.

/

I woke up early in the next morning lying on the tatamis, I must have been rolling out of the futon during the night. My head ached as well as the lower part of my body as I sat up.

I looked down on myself; I was naked, the cold morning breeze had woken me up and this was not my room. The pain in my belly and the dried blood between my legs reminded my of the happenings last night.

Turning I watched Saitou. He was still sleeping, lying on the futon wrapped in a blanket and I observed him for some time.

The early morning sun softened his features, he seemed so peaceful and handsome in his sleep. Forcing myself to look away from him I searched my kimono, there it was. It was ruined indeed, having blood on it what had dried.

I looked for another cloth, my dresses were downstairs in my room and decided to take one of Saitou's yukatas. My glance fell on a cloth-pile beside the sliding door, Saitou's swords lying on top, it were the things we had lost on our way upstairs last night. My eyebrows furrowed. Who could have put them inside and when?

I went down to the kitchen to catch some rice, fish and tea for breakfast, on my way I met  
some Shinsen-gumi and their wives, everyone grinning at my sight. I must look awful I assumed. I had brushed my hair, not very successful, it was still tousled and messy, in addition to that I was in Saitou's yukata and had a hangover again. But this was going to be my home, so what did it matter.

Half-way back to Saitou's room where I wanted to put down his breakfast, I met Okita. He was the only one smiling warmhearted to me this morning and I decided to speak to him. "Good morning, Okita-sama" I bowed paying attention not to spill the contents of the tray in my hands.

"Good morning, Tokio-san." He bowed back.

Some men with their wives were passing us, whispering and shooting glances at me. The women giggled, stupid as always. They might be thinking I had a bad time and made fun of it. Saitou was right. They were good for nothing!

"How inconspicuous." I whispered to Okita.

"You two were loud enough. You waked up the whole house. Your clothes were scattered everywhere." He explained the situation. He had seen the clothes?

"The clothes and the sword were in Saitou's room this morning."

"I had to gather them and put them inside. Kondou was not very amused, you can believe me."

Okita grinned over his whole face and some more women passed us, giggling about me and  
I got angry grinding my teeth together not able to hold back my comment "That was nothing special. They should concentrate on their own business."

"Believe me, THIS was special."

Saitou came out of his room looking a bit absent and the corridor fell silent instantly. A deadly silence spread, there would be no teasing. The men knew, when it was better to shut up and walked away quietly.

"I got you some rice and fish." I announced, set the tray down inside his room, was  
rewarded with a nod and left.

It was better to leave him alone with HIS hangover.


	4. Chapter 4 Marriage and gift

Standard disclaimers: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do.

_She had a heartful of love and devotion  
She had a mindful of tyranny and terror  
Well, I try, I do, I really try  
But I just err, baby, I do, I error  
So come find me, my darling one  
I'm down to the grounds, the very dregs_

words by Nick Cave (Do you love me?)

**CHAPTER 4: MARRIAGE AND GIFT**

After setting down his breakfast in a deadly silent room, I decided to stay away from sake and Saitou until the wedding day. I knew, I would not be able to control myself and things would escalate again. He must have thought the same, I did not see him around the next days.

I started to make myself a home, helping in the kitchen, arranging flowers. I am a talented cook and my mother had been a good teacher. I love cooking, it is like a tea ceremony. Washing the rice, heating it, preparing the fish. It kept away the horror I had seen and experienced.

I had been an outsider from the day of my birth. Of course, my parents had had some friends left, but other children kept away from me. To be honest, I had never been really interested in other children and I had never opened up to them. I think I had scared them, for being a girl and 'dark-minded'.

I can respect and accept rules and tradition to a certain point. Don't get me wrong. I did had a strict education. But I had always had my freedom in some, special ways. My parents had been rather unconventional, and Kondou was right. I had their spirit.

There was no way out. A promise was a promise. An obligation was an obligation.

Always respecting and living the way of a samurai.

Duty and honour. Passion and obsession. It was a small path I was walking on.

Would I be able to master it? Did I WANT to master it? To find the right way in between? WAS there a path in between?

Between love and hate, devotion and domination, life, death, fear, horror?

/

The next day I waited, busy in the kitchen, until most inmates left. Only the two girls were left and a woman lying upstairs, she was seriously ill.

It was time for training. Kondou had told me to stop sword-fighting, but he did not told me to stop training.

For about two hours I was in the training hall and I trained hard. I went through some katas of my father which I hadn't been able to master yet. I was getting better, but not perfect.

It was time to try something. I grabbed the katana at the very end, in the left hand, trying the technique I had seen Saitou using.

It was not working, something was wrong. I changed the position of my hand slightly. Still not working. To stay realistic, I had not seen enough of the style to figure out what was wrong I would have to see more of it. There is no need to push things, Tokio! I reminded myself. End of training for today!

I headed in my room, changed back in my kimono and went into the kitchen. The girls were still there, I joined them, pretending I had been reading in a book.

I continued training during the next days, when the house was empty. I knew, it was only a question of time when I would be discovered, but I had to take the risk.

On my third day of training I was discovered.

I was going through a difficult kata and was so concentrated, that I blocked the entire world outside.

"You need to improve your speed during the first step!"

HEART-ATTACK! I froze in the middle of my kata, in the middle of the air and landed on my bottom. I needed a few seconds to re-gain control and to get my brain functioning. I put on a small smile and turned.

"Good afternoon, Okita-sama. What a surprise!" Bowing deep. Kondou must have told him about me. And he must have told him, that he wanted me to stop fighting. What would Okita do? Betray me? Stop me from training? My brain was functioning again, my fears hunting me.

"Interesting style!" He stated.

"It is my father's school." I kept my head lowered, I felt like a small kid being discovered after doing something stupid. What described exactly the situation.

"It is based on offence." His answer made me looking up, obviously he was not here to stop me from training. Would he betray me?

"My father changed the original style. Actually it is even more offensive, but he decided to add defence. But by changing it and adding more defence, it was not working as good as the original one. We were improving it."

"I see, you are still improving it. Good work." That was surprising. He wouldn't stop me and he was obviously interested in my father's style. There was hope that he would not tell Kondou. By looking at him I realised he was watching me as if he wanted me to ask him something. Could it be?

"Thank you very much!" Looking for a good beginning, I hesitated. "Someone told me you are the best swords-man in the Shinsengumi, Okita-sama."

He chuckled "Ma, I would not say that."

"With an attitude like that, you will be killed someday."

He chuckled more "Come on, Tokio-san. You know there is more to it than that. You have to judge your opponent and not to overestimate yourself."

He was right. I knew that. I decided it was time to ask him. I bowed "Okita-sama, would you give me a favour, please?"

"What?" I bet he already knew what I was up to.

I bowed even deeper. After all, I was a woman, in addition to that, he was a master of his style. "Would you show me your style, please?" I could almost feel the wide grin in his face.

"Yes." I raised, faced him, we were both grinning like small children.

"Starting now?"

"Yes." He drew his sword.

We continued the training until the wedding day, always in the afternoon, when most inmates were out and always about two hours.

I figured out quickly, during our first session, that his style was not fitting mine and I would not be able to master it in a perfect way.

Okita had realised it too, of course, but we continued. I showed him more of my father's style, we would improve it some time later and he showed me more of the "Miburo style".

The three following days past quickly filled with training and finally the wedding came.

/

I dressed in my formal kimono, the girls helped me with the kimono, hair and make-up again. I finished my hair by putting the silver butterfly hairpin of my mother in it.

This hairpin would always remind me of the wonderful smile and love that she had held for me and my father until they had been slaughtered. There had been no smile left after she had been killed, there hadn't been even a face left, but the butterfly pin had been still in her hair. It had been there all the time during her suffering and death. I shuddered, remembering the sight.

"How beautiful!" One girl clapped her hands admiring the hairpin. I frightened up of my nightmares and smiled warmhearted at her. She was so sweet!

"That's a remembrance of my mother. It was made in France."

"Kawaaaiiii!" they both squealed. I laughed from the bottom of my heart. THEY were sweet.

I hoped they would find peace and love in their lives, they deserved it. Still laughing I left my room and headed to the ceremony room.

As I entered, I saw about 10 Shinsengumi, some with their wives, sitting around. It had to be the other squad leaders, this was not a marriage for a low-ranked member and despite the dishonouring of my father I was a member of the Kobayashi-family. Saitou was sitting on the right side of a small table, Kondou beside him, giving him guidance. I had no family or friends left to give me company.

But during our sessions, lasting only a few days, Okita came close to me. He was the brother for me I never had and he had offered to support me during the ceremony. He waited until I entered and escorted me to the table, kneeling down beside me, opposite of Saitou and Kondou.

The ceremony was short and finished as we drank the three mouthful of sake from the three cups.

All guests congratulated and gave us gifts, we had to drink sake with everyone. It was not enough sake to get Saitou or me drunk, but a violent temper already appeared in his eyes, just as the last time we drank in the pub. It was time to leave.

"He, wild night, buddy. Have fun!" They all laughed and had dirty expressions on their faces. Men could be so stupid when they were drunk. How embarrassing!

Saitou had already punched his fist into the man's face and the laughter abruptly stopped. They had enough brain left, to know when they had to shut up.

The man spat out a teeth. Saitou was really violent sometimes, there was a sadistic grin in his face. The blood only turned him on. Mou, I'm tired and exhausted after all this ceremony stuff! I didn't want this right now! All I wanted was to escape the celebration and rest!

I laid a hand on his shoulder. "Not here, not yet, please. He is not worth it." I whispered in his ear.

He sheathed the sword, that he already had been pulling out a few centimetres. I was surprised, my eyes nearly bulged of their sockets. He followed my request? What kind of game started here? Was he playing with me? What did I miss? I was wide awake, not sleepy at all.

He left the celebration, me high on his heels, following him to his room upstairs.

He closed the door of our room behind me, staying at the spot. His head was bowed but I could feel his amber eyes on me.

"What is wrong?" I addressed him, standing in the middle of the room. I raised my right hand and pulled my mother's pin out of my hair, one strand falling down. He took a step forward and gazed at me, head still lowered.

"Let me do that." I let my hand drop. He stood in front of me, now lifting his head. I looked directly in his eyes. He was damn sexy. He pulled out the pins, all my hair fell down to my hips. He let the hair flow through his hands.

"Beautiful" He stated, retreating his hand.

"You had a choice", I replied smiling back.

"No, I didn't have." Maybe he was right. I had not been around when Kondou had talked with him. Or was he really attracted by me as I was by him?

He stepped back, revealed a cigarette, lightened it. "I bought you something" His eyes glanced for a short moment at a corner of the room.

The 'something' had to be in that corner, I figured out. Why couldn't he say 'gift' or hand it to me? What mattered, it was the idea behind. I went over, on a table was a flat packet wrapped in white silk. I knelt down in front of it, he leant against the paper-wall beside me, a bored expression on his face, smoking his cigarette.

I touched the silk, it was heavy. "What? That looks so expensive!"

He gained his bored expression "That's the wrapping!" Idiot, I knew that!

I reached my hands out, touching the silk, hands shaking, remembering the last present that had been given to me. I unwrapped the silk and it revealed a kimono.

It was an expensive one, dark blue, heavy, with silver blending and some small silver butterflies woven on one side. Perfect, not 'over-decorated' as most kimonos. And a fitting obi. I let my hands wander over the shimmering fabric.

*****flashback*****

My parents smiling happily giving me a package. My 16th birthday! Opening it, what a surprise! A poetry-book! Being happy. My parents smiling warmhearted.  
"Happy birthday my dear! With all our love for you!"

My mother embraced me. She whispered in French in my ear  
"I wish you a wonderful next year! Stay healthy and happy! And remember: don't marry such an idiot as I did!"

She smiled wide. I knew, she loved my father with all her heart, she just wanted to tease him. My father was standing beside her, smiling. Proud as he watched us, but suspicious about what she told me.

One week later they were dead. I found them. My mother's face. Only a bloody pulp left. Pinned to a wall, abused in all imaginable ways. My father pinned to the opposite wall. Forced to watch her being abused and seeing her die before his own cruel death.

I knew the assassins were still around, waiting in the darkness for my return.

Hidden, watching me.

I remembered what my mother told me one week ago.

I remembered my father during our sessions "The way of a samurai!" "It's a believe, Tokio! You have to live for it!" "AKU SOKU ZAN!"

Intestines hanging out, my parent's blood spilled everywhere, my father's sword lying on the floor...

This was the first time I really believed in his words. My first fight with the real spirit, not like my fights before.

No!

*****end flashback*****

I closed the silk over the kimono. Determined. "I can't accept this! It is too expensive."

He raised an eyebrow and flicked away some ash. "Don't be silly. I ruined your yellow kimono. You said you want a new one."

"The yellow one was not THAT quality!" I didn't want to have such a wonderful present. The last had ended in a disaster, the most important persons in my life had been killed in the most horrible way I could imagine.

"What matters, I bought it." He still looked bored.

"Saitou-san, that's romantic. I thought that's boring."

"That's not romantic, that's practical. It is the replace for your yellow one."

Hopeless. He was completely hopeless, he wouldn't admit it.

I decided to have a second look. It was too wonderful, too exquisite. He must have figured out already how attracted I was by this kimono or he would be a bad sword-fighter. And he must have figured out how disturbed I was by this present. I had not been able to mask my ki enough.

I remembered my parents.

Fighting for their love.

Suffering for their love.

Finally dying for their love.

There was no way out, I was trapped and I felt tears raising. NO! Not in front of him.

Since the death of my parents I had never been disturbed so much. I never felt this devotion before, I was attracted by him again, but in another way as last time and I decided to give him something special.

/

Author's comments:  
I know, I'm not correct with this family stuff. Honour, duty, blabla. I have  
no idea how it really is. But it has to fit to the story.


	5. Chapter 5 Confrontations 2

Standard disclaimers I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do.

In this chapter was the next lemon... I simply cut it out. I hope this is still understandable =^^=  
And the chapter is rather short now...

For this chapter Mica-chan has written a side-story 'Blood, drops and a marriage'. It is very good, I highly recommend it. If you like Saitou/Okita, that is =^^=

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
_And I got no choice, no, I got no choice at all_

_I'll say it again_

_L is for LOVE, baby  
O is for O yes I do  
V is for VIRTUE, so I ain't gonna hurt you  
E is for EVEN if you want me to  
R is for RENDER unto me, baby  
M is for that which is MINE  
A is for ANY old how, darling  
N is for ANY old time_

words by Nick Cave (Song: "Loverman", CD: "Let love in")

**CHAPTER 5: CONFRONTATION 2**

I reached out for the kimono once more, why would someone give me such a wonderful present? No one, except my parents had ever given me something without wanting something back.

I picked up the kimono and held it in front of me, inspecting it. Dark blue is not a common colour for a kimono and silver butterflies, only a few, only on one sleeve? He had 'hit' my taste directly and had chosen a 'perfect' one.

This was the most precious and fitting present I was given in my entire life. Did he know? How much did he already know about me?

"That is wonderful Saitou. It is so.." I was out of words.

"Don't be silly, that's a kimono, nothing special. You are a woman after all. What a fuzz about something to wear."

He was lying. THIS one was special, it was dark blue and had silver butterflies on it. He must have searched whole Kyoto for the silk and must have scared the dressmaker to death to get it ready for today.

I laid the kimono carefully back on the table, he was still standing beside me against the paper-wall, he had finished the cigarette and looked bored. He WOULD HAVE something special, it was time now.

I stood up in front of him "Saitou-san?"

He raised an eyebrow "What is it?"

I reached out with one hand, touching his cheek, he revealed no emotion on his face.

"Thank you very much! That is wonderful, I love it!"

"No one could oversee that." Still he looked not interested at all.

Come on, Saitou, you couldn't tell me, that you had spent all that money and were not satisfied that I was pleased. It had to be possible to get SOME EMOTIONS out of him, to scatter his self-control.

I moved closer nearly touching him with my body and lifted my head watching him through my eye-lashes.

"Have you ever paid for a 'special' service?"

That wiped him out of his stupor a bit, I felt the hair in his neck raising and his voice was getting rough "No."

I moved even closer, let my hand wander under his kimono, my other hand under his hakama, touching his intimate parts.

"You should have done that. I can ensure you, you will enjoy this trip."

/

I continued my training with Okita after the marriage and it happened only a few days later.

We were in the middle of a difficult kata, I tried to master the basic Gatotsu, the technique Saitou used, I was focused and attacked Okita.

"Kya!" I slammed my katana down, where was his defence?

"Cough, cough" He coughed so hard, he was not able to raise his hand with his sword. In the last moment I managed to throw the katana forward, missing his shoulder only a few centimetres.

"Cough, cough" He did not stop, he fell on his knees and began spitting blood.

THIS was starting to worry me. He had coughed earlier during our sessions, he was ill, I knew that, but this was worse.

"Soushi! What is wrong?" I was near a panic now, I embraced him to support him and he leaned against me.

"It is nothing, Tokio, nothing to worry about!" IDIOT, you were lying!

"I'm afraid I have another opinion. YOU GO IN YOUR BED AT INSTANT! I'll go and fetch a doctor!" He tried to protest, but he was too weak. I managed to get him on his feet, to drag him upstairs into his room and helped him to lay down on his futon. He was coughing the whole time, spitting blood several times.

"I'll be back soon, relax!" He nodded, he was too exhausted to answer me.

I rushed outside in my training outfit and looked frantically around for a doctor.

Our house was empty, so I asked some people on the street. They must have thought I was nuts, running around, shouting for a doctor and they evaded me or gave me no answer. Stupid idiots! I needed a doctor right now!

Finally I managed to find one by myself, I rushed inside, not caring about formalities and shit like that. They all stared wide-eyed at me. Aa, there he was, he looked scared at me.

"You have to come with me!" I announced without introducing and other circumstances.

"Aa, oo, aa,.." he wasn't able to speak or form a clear thought. Japanese. Couldn't handle temperament and being pulled out of their usual business. Time to scare him more.

"You don't want to have trouble with the Shinsengumi, the Miburo, do you?" I shook him to underline my words, I bet he thought his end was near.

"Aa, oo,... NO, NO!" Aa, there we go! I shook him harder.

"Then come with me at instant!" I grabbed a box with medicine lying on a table and dragged him onto the street, pulling him on his arm behind me.

The people in the clinic remained dumdfounded on the same spot, wide-eyed, mouth opened, following us with their glances.

I loosened my grip on the doctor when we stood in front of Okita who was lying on his futon his face deadly pale.

"Here is your patient, doctor!" I shoved him closer to Okita, who continued to cough, but laughed at the doctor's expression.

"Tokio, what have you done to the poor man! Sorry, doctor, she loses sometimes her temper. Nothing to worry about."

The doctor nodded, visibly relieved to have a 'normal' patient and started to examine Okita. I stood beside him during the examination, moving impatiently from one foot to another. Finally the doctor finished, put his things back in his box and stood up.

"What is it? What is wrong? Is it serious?" I began to scare him one more with my rude behaviour, my direct speech and my wild temper.

"Hm, I'm afraid, yes."

"What?" He was dead! He was a doctor, he had to cure him, I began to shake him.

"Ma, ma. Tokio, calm down, he is not responsible!" Okita coughed between his laughs. "What is it doctor? TOKIO, LEAVE HIM!"

Okita was right, the doctor was not responsible for his illness, I loosened my grip and stepped back, lowered my eyes, bowing deeply.

"I'm very sorry, doctor, I'm sorry."

He visibly didn't feel safe in my company, but Okita assured him to go on. "It is tuberculosis. I can do nothing about it. You have a few weeks left." He spoke as fast as he was able to and fled the room, obviously afraid of me.

I just stood there dumbfounded. NO! NO! Not again! Not another person near me would die and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt tears raising and rushed forward to embrace Okita to find comfort in his arms.

"No, Soushi! Don't leave me! You are important for me!"

"Ma, ma, Tokio. I was afraid it would be serious and I knew I might die. Please calm down and don't tell Saitou."

I chuckled from my suppressed cries and tears "I promise."

He cupped my face and forced me to look in his eyes "This is serious, Tokio, promise."

Why he didn't want to tell Saitou? "I promise, Soushi!"

He pulled me back in his embrace and I tried to think about something different, not to burst out in tears. NO, I wouldn't cry! There was something I wanted to know, perhaps this was the right time to ask him "Why did you start to train me?"

"Aa,.." he started..

WUMM, the whole shouji was slammed open, it was ruined, Saitou was standing in the now damaged entrance.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?" I was shocked to the bones, I wasn't able to move, Okita was rooted to the place too.

Saitou grabbed me around my neck ripping me out of Okita's embrace and slammed me into the next paper wall, I found myself in the next room among some Shinsengumi with their wives. Everyone was rooted to his place, nobody was capable of moving or speaking.

Saitou approached Okita and punched his fist in his face. "STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE. SHE IS MINE!"

That was enough. Okita was ill and he punched him for being my friend? He couldn't decide with whom I talked and had fun. I WAS HIS ? No way! I was not a thing which someone can own! I was no ones property! He was SO in for it. He would pay!!

I stood up, I knew my eyes were gleaming and I looked threatening. "MORON!" I yelled at the top of my lungs and approached him. "You are an IDIOT, Hajime!" He turned and faced me, his eyes reflecting golden.

The Shinsengumi around me fled as fast as they could, outside the room, I guessed they even left the house. This was going to be serious.

"YOU STAY QUIET, TOKIO!" He stepped closer, threatening me.

"YOU CAN'T FORBID ME TO TALK! I'M NOT ONE OF YOUR DAMN UNDERLININGS YOU CAN COMMAND AROUND!" If this was possible, he looked even more threatening.

"YOU STAY QUIET AND STAY IN OUR ROOM AWAY FROM OKITA!"

We were shouting down the whole house, I believed they heard us on the other end of Kyoto.

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO DO SO!"

"OH; YES I CAN!"

"COME ON HAJIME, COME ON! TRY!" I had to admit, I saw this coming from the beginning, but there was no way to cool my temper and to stay quiet. He had gone to far. I was prepared for the impact, but I underestimated the strength he was using, hitting me on my cheek.

I flew across the room, through the next wall, down on the street. We were on the first floor, I had a hard impact on the mud in the street. My cheek burned, my spine ached. ENOUGH! I stood up and started to walk down the street, ignoring his yells behind me.


	6. Chapter 6 Fight and talk

Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own RuroKen, I am not Watsuki, I don't own anything... though I wish I'd own Saitou =^^=.

_There's a devil waiting outside your door_  
_(How much longer)_  
_Bucking and praying and pawing the floor_  
_Well, he's howling with pain and crawling up the walls_  
_There's a devil waiting outside your door_  
_He's weak with evil and broken by the world_  
_He's shouting your name and asking for more_  
_There's a devil waiting outside your door_  
_Loverman! Since the world began_  
_Forever, amen till the end of time_  
_Take off that dress I'm coming down_  
_I'm your loverman_  
_Cause I am what I am what I am what I am_

words by Nick Cave ("Loverman")

**CHAPTER 6: FIGHT AND TALK**

I flew across the room, through the next wall, down on the street. We were on the first floor, I had a hard impact on the mud in the street. My cheek burned from his touch, I could still feel his fingers, my spine ached.

That was enough! I didn't want to be treated like this and I stood up, gained an upright and proud carriage and started to walk down the street, never turning back, ignoring his yells behind me.

I felt tears welling, people were staring behind me, I had to look scaring, like a ravaged avenger. My hair was messed up, my eyes and cheek red, my nose was running and I sobbed uncontrollably. On top of that I was wearing my cloth from the training and I was covered with mud. My tears didn't subside, I was crying so hard, frustrated, that I wasn't able to see the street. Deep inside I knew that I had no chance against him in a bare-handed fight, he overpowered me with his physical strength.

Furthermore Okita was dying before my eyes, there was nothing I could do about it and that was more than I was able to handle at the moment. Why did have anything to went wrong? Just now, when everything appeared to be perfect?

Only then I stopped short. Where was I? Did I know this street? Where could I go? I knew nobody in Kyoto, was messed up and left my money at home. I was running away. Like a little, sulking child, I was running away with nowhere to go.

There was a temple I had passed when I had entered Kyoto one month ago. Only one month past? My God! The temple would be a good place for meditating and re-gaining control over my disturbed emotions. I looked around the hills of Kyoto, spotted the right direction and changed my course.

After a short walk, I reached my destination, climbed up the hill, entered the temple area and refreshed myself with the water of the spring.

That was good! I felt myself calming, my tears were drying and I looked for a quiet place to meditate. There was one, between the bamboo in the garden and I settled down, trying to concentrate, focus.

What an enormous idiot that Saitou Hajime was! He was in no position to tell me what to do, with

whom I talked. Okita was one of the few persons, that respected me, spoke with me and understood me. As I already said, I was an outsider from the day of my birth.

***FLASHBACK***

I was six years old, I ran down the street, there were some children playing, I had to pass them, they pointed at me.

"Look, there is the bastard!" "Bastard, bastard!" "Your father is nothing but dirt!" "Your mother is a bitch!"

I heard them, but I didn't understand them, we were a perfect family. What was wrong? They picked up stones and threw them at me. I ducked them effortlessly, I was used to their attacks already.

"She thinks she is better than us!" "She is nothing, her father was dishonoured!"

The children spoke out loudly, what the adults in this district thought about my parents and me.

When I came home I ran to my mother, wondering, I really didn't understand. "Mom, the children in the street made fun of me and insult you and papa!"

When father was not around we always spoke French, she wanted me to remind my origins. "Tokio!" she embraced me, caressed my hair, pressed me against her chest, she smiled one of her wonderful smiles for me.

"They say so much dirty things about us."

"Come on, Tokio, you are too smart, my little lady, to believe what they are saying. Let them be. You are such a strong, smart kid, You don't have to care about them. Come on I'll prepare you some sweet crepes."

She didn't understand me. I really didn't care what the other children thought of me, I just wanted to know what was wrong. But I stayed quiet, crepes!!

***end Flashback***

I smiled, remembering the sweet taste of crepes with extra sugar on it. Mmm, I'd like to have one now.

"Aa, here you are!"

I shrieked up of my daydreams turning to the reason of the interruption, one of the last persons I expected to see here. "Hello, Soushi. What are you doing here? You are supposed to stay in bed!"

That reckless idiot would be six feet under earlier then the doctor assumed, if he didn't stay in bed. No, I'd pull myself together! No moaning and crying!

He chuckled "I need the fight, I am a warrior, I can't stay in bed, that would kill me even sooner. I'm that type of man."

Useless to discuss. If he wanted to run around and got killed he would do exactly that and not follow the doctor's advise. "How did you find me? Why did you follow me?"

He settled down beside me in a comfortable position, preparing for a longer talk. "I managed to calm Saitou-san."

There was the knot in my stomach again, I felt my anger raising. "That idiot had no reason to hit you or me. I refuse to meet him again."

Soushi got serious, looking deep in my eyes. "Don't behave childish, Tokio, be reasonable. You were in my room, I was lying in my futon and we were embracing each other. He had every reason to misjudge the situation, it was compromising. And he wasn't serious, believe me. Had he been serious, he had hurt us worse. I believe he just wanted to show you who is the 'man' in the house or to provoke you. Think what you would have done if you would have found him embracing a woman on a futon!"

Of course I would have assumed that it was a completely harmless situation and that he only comforted a close friend! Did he have other women beside me? The thought was more than unsettling and I pushed it aside.

Still, this was not reason enough to punch his and my friend and to slam me on my cheek and throw me out of the house. Soushi believed, Saitou had only played? What kind of game was this? What was he like when he was serious? "He had no right to do that!"

"He is your husband, Tokio, he has to take care of you. That is his way of showing you that he cares for you."

I laughed bitterly "Do you call this 'taking care'. This is possessive! I'm not his property and I'm not his underlining. I can take care of myself!"

Soushi sighed "Tokio, you are stubborn. Anyway, Kondou-sensei wants to see you both two hours after sunset and talk with you. I am here to deliver this message."

That shocked me a little. Kondou wanted to see us? He would give us a piece of his mind! This meant trouble. I must have looked really scared, Okita chuckled, laughed about my expression.

"You shouted the house down, ruined one wall and two shouji. What do you expect? He was not very pleased, believe me."

"Hajime should have talked with me. There was a chance to clear the situation!"

"Tokio, you both are hopeless. You both don't like to talk and there is too much tension between you both. Furthermore you lost your temper as well."

Maybe he was right, there was too much tension. Saitou attracted me, and even when he threatened me, I felt myself being attracted by him. That was not a problem I could solve now and there was something more I wanted to know. "Tell me, what about your marriage? With your health condition? Does Kondou-sensei still look for a woman for you?"

Soushi laughed loud, tears were coming in his eyes from laughing "Do you want to know the truth?"

That suspiciously didn't sound like I wanted to hear it, but I was nosy. "Yes, Soushi, tell me, please!"

"Originally, Kondou-sensei wanted to look for a wife for Saitou-san. He is quite old now, 23, and it was time to get married. But he muffled something like 'keep this silly girls away from me. No need for a woman. Only trouble and nothing more. Love is only for weaklings and idiots, morons.' That was his summarised comment. Then Kondou-sensei asked me, he hoped that Saitou-san would change his mind during the introductions."

Okita laughed loud now, holding his stomach. VERY funny, Soushi! "What happened then?"

"You were the last woman, after you left, the broker excused for your behaviour and went away. Kondou-sensei stayed quiet for a while, thinking and released Saitou-san, he wanted to talk with me alone. After we were alone, Kondou-sensei told me that he wanted me to retreat and ask Saitou-san to marry you instead. He told me he knew your father from Osaka, that they had trained together and had founded that aku soku zan philosophy together. He said something about the spirit of your parents in you, I don't remember. Later he spoke with Saitou-san, Kondou-sensei must have been really scaring, that Saitou-san gave his agreement so fast."

We both laughed, knowing that a scared Saitou was unimaginable, impossible, but the image itself was funny. Soushi always found a way to cheer me up. "Come, Tokio, we must go back, you have to talk with Kondou-sama."

Oh my God, I nearly forgot about this one! There was still some time left and I wanted to relax and prepare for the meeting here. "I'll follow later, don't bother about me. I want to stay a little bit, Soushi."

"Really?"

"Really!" I wanted to enjoy he silence and peace some more time alone, before heading back.

"Bye, Tokio." He looked a little reluctant, but turned and walked away.

"Bye, Soushi."

After the sun had settled down behind the mountains around Kyoto I left the temple area. The moon was already high in the sky, red from the last sunbeams, it looked beautiful. What a wonderful city!

STOP! What was that, that smell? BLOOD!! I rushed forward into the direction I heard the noises of a fight. There were the first dead men. Shinsengumi, low-ranked, I had never seen them before. There were the next three. It had to be many opponents or a VERY skilled sword-fighter, taking down so many men in such a short time.

I turned around the next corner, there he stood. It was a single man, his back facing me. He was definitely skilled, that would be an interesting opponent, I longed for my swords,..

Where were my swords? I felt the blood leaving my face and my heart skipping a beat. They were still in the dojo, where Soushi had broken down!

The man in front of me turned, he must have felt my ki, the bloodied moonlight shining on his features. He had red hair, bond in a high pony-tail and a crossed scar on his left cheek.

I panicked. I noticed a disturbing influence in his ki, similar to my own, no mercy, killing cold-blooded, hiding a deep wound in his soul. He was different. He must have noticed the same in me, we just stood there, facing each other, staring at each other, nobody moved, I felt like facing death himself. I was dead. Why wasn't he attacking?

***FLASHBACK***

The katana was lying in front of me, in the middle of the room, the first assassin stepped out of the shadows, I blocked every emotion. 'Focus, you can do that, Tokio! You have to stay alive for your parents, for their spirit, for their believe!'

"Look what we have here, the bastard. Probably she will be more fun than her mother, won't she?"

A second man stepped into the light, now! I rushed forward, grabbed the katana and used the speed to dodge the first man while cutting his legs above his knees. He fell to the ground yelling, I used the wall and my speed to kick me back to the second man decapitating him. He stood for some seconds, before he broke down.

Run, Tokio, there are some more, they are skilled and alarmed now, I will need the wakizashi, the element of surprise is gone. Where is it? I looked frantically around, there it was, pierced through my father's heart. His own sword! Focus, Tokio! But this moment was enough, I wasn't able to evade the shuriken.

Ninja! Getting worse! How many? The shuriken hit my left shoulder, it was supposed to hit my heart. RUN, Tokio! I rushed forward and grabbed the wakizashi, ignoring the pain in my left shoulder and the sight of my father. I can stand this!

The man, whom I had cut above the knees finally stopped yelling, he had probably lost too much blood.

"Tokio!" Someone was calling me? My parents were killed, I had to be focused! I raised my hand to pull out the shuriken.

"TOKIO!" My shoulder ached, where was the shuriken?

***END FLASHBACK***

"TOKIO!"

I had been distracted for a minute, or longer, someone was searching me, I was standing in the middle of a street in a pool of blood in Kyoto. About six corpses were lying around me. The man in front of me had vanished. Why hadn't he killed me? I was a witness and an easy prey!

Saitou and Soushi came across the corner, seeing me standing in the middle of the street, between the dead corpses, some more Shinsengumi followed them. Saitou and Soushi must have realised, how disturbed I was, Saitou rushed forward and pushed me behind him.

"What happened here, Tokio?" He was alarmed, his fighting ki got stronger.

"Hm, I'm not sure, there was a man.." I felt safe having him around and began to be attracted by his physical presence and strong fighting spirit, despite his behaviour earlier that day.

"What man? Did he have red hair and a crossed scar on his cheek, Battousai?" Saitou asked, his ki getting stronger and stronger, blood-thirstiness filled the air.

It was him! The legendary assassin! I felt my face pale even more.

Saitou got a glimpse of my face "What's wrong? Was he here?"

"He was here, just a moment ago!"

They both looked alarmed, prepared to draw their swords any second and fight. "What?" Soushi asked "You saw him and he let you alive? Where did he go?"

"I don't know, he was too fast. I have never seen someone moving so fast before." No way I would tell them that I had been distracted.

"Tokio, where are your swords?" Saitou's intense stare meant nothing good.

"Back at home." I was an idiot running around this city without protection, what was probably exactly what Saitou was thinking.

"Bad. You stay close to me, I'll bring you home. Okita-kun can you clear the situation here with Hijikata-san?"

"No problem." Okita nodded in consent.

"Wait a moment, please!" I looked around, there had to be a good one. There, this man had a good sword. I opened his still warm hand, took the katana and grabbed the wakizashi out of his hakama. He wouldn't need it any longer.

"Good idea, Tokio. Might be necessary to defend yourself." Saitou commented my doing.

I walked behind him, we were both alarmed and watched our surroundings carefully. We headed down some streets, when he suddenly stopped, there were the first men, blocking our way, I could feel two more behind us.

"Can you take the two in our back?" Saitou whispered to me, I turned, facing them, judging them. They were skilled, but it was not impossible.

"No problem." I felt him concentrating on the men in front of us.

"Aa, the miburo are using little boys now, are you out of men?"

WHAT? I was NOT a little boy, idiot.

"Stop talking and fight!" I felt Saitou challenging his opponents, entering the battle and concentrated on my own fight.

I would probably need a special attack, but I wanted to see their first move and prepared for the attack. There the first man came yelling, the katana out of my sight behind his back. He raised his arm, 'to early, boy', I analysed.

I realised he was aiming for my left shoulder, he increased the speed during his final blow, and I managed to evade in the last moment. He wanted to cut me up from left shoulder to my hip, he only cut my kimono. Very bad for him, he was distracted, seeing that I was not a small boy, and I took the chance to slam my katana right between his eyes. I hated when the brain came out, it looked a bit freaking.

The other man had realised by now, underestimating me would be a mistake and stared at me, trying to evaluate me. Attacking might be a possibility to reveal more about him and I took an offensive stance.

By his eyes I could tell that he knew what I was up to, I preferred the direct approach. I leapt forward, raising my katana, pretending to slam it down on him, he made a defensive move with his katana, NOW. I kicked him my foot in the face, but he was quick and realised my intention. He hit me with the hilt in my knee before I reached his face and threw me aside, I landed in the mud and blood on the street, in an instant I was back on my feet.

OUCH, my knee. FOCUS. I had to end this fight quickly, I could not move properly with this knee. Special technique! I drew my wakizashi, and challenged him again, katana in my right hand and wakizashi in my left hand.

He smiled, he thought I would not have enough strength in my arms to handle both swords and he was right. But it would be enough to finish him. I bet you had never seen someone using both swords this way, guy!

He attacked once more, not caring about hiding his aim, I blocked his katana, not completely, I was too weak and knew that, it brushed along my right arm. Nothing compared to victory, he was wide open and now he realised what I was up to. Too late, I already cut his throat with the wakizashi, blood raining down on me. There came always a lot of blood out of these wounds.

I had to look awful! I glanced down on me, I was covered with mud and blood, my kimono gaping in the front. I sheathed the swords, it had been a good idea to pick them up, they had been useful, and I managed to arrange my kimono in a way that it was closed.

I turned around to look for Saitou, he just sheathed his katana. „Hajime, that was a good." I started to approach him.

My knee! I suddenly remembered my injury, the excitement of the battle and the near victory had made me forget about it. No way, I would not show, that I was hurt!

"There are a lot Ishinshishi on the street tonight." He continued to search the surroundings, but there was no one left, hiding.

"I think they aren't a real threat for us, only Battousai scared me, he had a strong influence on my ki."

"Yes, that's part of his style."

"Why didn't he kill me?"

Saitou jerked his shoulders "Ask him."

VERY FUNNY, Saitou, very funny. I actually started to laugh, imagining me asking Battousai, why he didn't kill me. Still laughing, I looked up to Saitou "I must look awful, aren't I?"

Saitou took a closer look at me "You look terrible, you need a bath."

"WHAT?" That was not polite! I knew that! He didn't have to tell me that directly.

"You look like something the cat dragged in, kitten."

Idiot, he was making fun of me, it couldn't be THIS bad. I tried to kick him playfully, ouch! The man had hit me harder than I thought, my leg gave in, I broke down, again I was lying in the mud and blood.

I needed a hot bath! Ouch, my knee hurt. Show no weakness in front of him! Teeth-grinding I stood up, trying to evade his look. "Let's go home!" Ouch, every-time I stained that leg, it ached, nearly giving in, but I was too proud to show my pain.

Where was Saitou? Why he wasn't following? I turned looking for him, he stood on the same spot. "What are you waiting for, come on!" I waved him to follow me.

"You are hurt!"

"No, I'm not. I'm ok" I was not that weak! I was strong! It was only a small bruise!

"Let's see how long you can pretend this, kitten. It will getting worse, with you walking."

"I'm not that sensible." I turned around and started to walk, ignoring the pain best I could, when I suddenly felt him picking me up.

"A good fighter has to care about his health, you are making it worse." He threw me over one shoulder, my head hanging down on his back.

What was that? Couldn't he carry me like a normal human being? "What? Can't you at least carry me like a normal woman? I'm your wife and not a package!"

"Don't complain, you are too dirty. I'll have to wash you first."

What? I was too dirty? That moron! I tried to free myself, but his grip was strong and I tried to wind myself out.

"Stop that, Tokio, or I set you back on your hurt leg."

I had a long, hard thinking about pain and pride and decided that it was time to stay quiet. He carried me the whole way till the bath-house and dropped me in front of the bathtubs. "Here's your bath, kitten."

"Can't you pay more attention? That hurts!" I opened my hakama, dropped it and examined my knee. It was swollen, in some days it would be green and blue, but I saw no outer injury. Perhaps it hurt because it was twisted during the attack and the hit of the hilt.

Saitou looked down, slightly concerned, or was I imagining things? "That looks like you shouldn't walk for some days. You'll have to see the doctor."

The doctor? No way! He would kill me for scaring him this afternoon and this would be a good chance for a revenge for him. But I decided to discuss this topic later. I slipped out of my kimono, inspected it, it was ruined like my hakama. No chance to get the mud and blood out of the clothes and the cut was too long. I'd have to wear kimonos from now on or borrow me some clothes.

Saitou inspected the cut in the kimono and said with a sarcastic expression on his face "I'd like to have seen the man's face." His hand wandered over one of my admittedly not very small breast, his expression becoming hungry as it reacted to his touch.

Turning away from his longing stare, I let myself glide into the warm water, giggling. I was rather tall for an average Japanese women and slim, but I had a very womanly frame, I guess that's my European ancestors fault. I paid attention to wear kimono and hakama in a way that hid my body frame, what was not easy. "He was quite surprised, believe me. Distracted enough to get defeated by me."

Aa, the water was relaxing! My muscles loosened up, my knee felt better, the scratch on my arm had stopped bleeding, I closed my eyes and dived.

I felt him coming into the tub, I dived up, my eyes snapped open, looking directly at him, his eyes were gleaming. What an impressive man. He grabbed me and pulled me close to his chest, it was obvious what he wanted and I was too tired and exhausted to protest and to resist. "You don't bare your teeth, kitten?"

"Come on, this was a hard day for me." He was attracting me too much, there was no way I could pretend different. I sat down on his lap and leaned my head against his chest. We stayed in this position for some time, enjoying the closeness and nearly fell asleep.

"We have to go to Kondou-sensei." All of a sudden Saitou stood, me sticking to him.

Mmm, I wanted to sleep. WHAT? Kondou? OH MY GOD! I forgot everything what happened today! Wide awake again!

/

Saitou carried me to Kondou's audience room, and I clapped in my hands in front of the shouji.

Hearing the permission to enter, I shoved it aside and we stepped inside. Saitou sat me back on my feet and somehow I managed to kneel down with my twisted knee.

Kondou sighed deep, looked at us, we kept our heads lowered, he sighed again. This was our first talk with him and it wouldn't be our last. "I was afraid something like this would happen, but you two are sure quick." He paused sighing, "I can ignore a lot of things, for example your clothes scattered in the house, you waking us up in the morning or the evening." He paused again "But I can't close my eyes, when you both shouting at each other like idiots and ruining the house."

Saitou and me bowed deep and said in one voice "We apologise, Kondou-sensei."

Kondou sighed once more, this was not his day. "You can sit up, you two."

"Tokio-san, what have you done in Okita-san's room?" HELP! I couldn't tell him. I had promised not to tell that he was ill and nobody had been in the house when I had looked for a doctor. In addition to that, no one noticed, when the doctor had left.

"I'm sorry, Kondou-sensei, I can't tell you."

Kondou slammed his hand on his forehead. "Tokio-san, that's enough! You are worse than your parents together! And I thought they were complicated. You had no right to be in his room. So tell me, what have you done there?"

"I'm sorry, Kondou-sensei" I bowed deep again "I can't tell you. I promised. I can't break a promise that I gave. But I assure you, that it was completely harmless and not what it looked like."

"Saitou-kun?" he addressed him.

"I came home, was looking for her, she was not in our room, I heard her in Okita-kun's room. I opened the shouji, there she was, Okita-kun was lying on his futon and she was lying in his arms."

Oh,oh, this was looking worse for me, I interfered. "You didn't open the door, you slammed it open. It is damaged. I was so shocked I couldn't move." And I wasn't able to keep my mouth shut.

Kondou interfered "Calm, Tokio-san, and apologise."

"What for, Kondou-sensei?"

"This was a compromising situation and Saitou-kun had every right to judge as he did."

"He had no right to punch Okita-san or to throw me out of the window!"

"APOLOGISE, TOKIO." He could be threatening for sure.

I bowed deep in front of Saitou "I apologise, Saitou-san, I'm sorry."

Kondou looked relieved and turned his concentration to Saitou. "Saitou-kun, did you punch Okita-san and Tokio-san?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"She has to learn where her place is. She needs to be reprimand. She can not do what she

wants, she has to ask me first."

"WHAT?" Who did he think he was?

"Tokio-san, apologise!" What? Kondou was on his side? This was not fair!

"WHAT? I have to apologise? WHY?"

"Tokio-san, you have to stick to the rules. I know, your parents were different, but I'm sure you know the tradition. He has every right to do what he did, he is your husband." He was right, I knew it. Stupid Japanese tradition. In this point I was his property. SHAMING! I had to lower myself in front of him! I felt myself bowing deep in front of him, my cheeks were burning from frustration and I heard myself whispering "I apologise, Saitou-san, I'm sorry. It will never happen again."

NO, I didn't want to raise and see his self-confident and arrogant grin!

"By the way," Kondou continued "Didn't I tell you to stop using your father's swords?"

I felt the world crashing on me. NO! He couldn't do this!

"I told her to go on with training and fighting, Kondou-sama. I'm sorry!" Saitou bowed and apologised. What? Why he did this, he told me nothing!

Kondou stared at Saitou, saying "Why did you allow her to go on? She is a woman, she can not use the swords any longer, she won't need them any more!"

"You said it before, she is MY wife. I want her to continue." He had done this whole scene on purpose! He was playing with my feelings! But he had managed to get Kondou's permission for my training and fighting.

My pride or my father's swords? It was not an easy decision.

A promise is a promise.

An obligation is an obligation.

Honour, duty, pride, justice, the way of a samurai.

Passion, obsession.

He had won this fight.

I felt myself falling for him.

But he had not won the battle.

/

What's on next chap?

Next chapter is dedicated to hundreds, no, thousands of BORING, ENDLESS, STUPID, USELESS, UNINSPIRED school lessons, university courses and discussions.


	7. Chapter 7 A briefing

Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own RuroKen, I am not Watsuki, I don't own anything... though I wish I'd own Saitou =^^=.

I was never faithful and I was never one to trust  
Border-lining schizo and guaranteed to cause a fuzz  
I was never loyal except to my own pleasure zone  
I'm forever black eyed, a product of a broken home

I was never faithful and I was never one to trust  
Borderline bipolar and forever biting on your nuts  
I was never grateful, that's why I spent my days alone  
I'm forever black-eyed, a product of a broken home

by PLACEBO ("black-eyed" from "Black Market Music")

**CHAPTER 7: A BRIEFING**

Kondou released us with a nod, Saitou picked me up and carried me to our room. On the one hand I was annoyed that he made me apologise to him, on the other hand I was relieved that he "allowed" me to go on with training and fighting. Should I be mad or thankful? Pride or passion?

"What have you done in Okita-kun's room?"

What? He couldn't seriously want to discuss that now! I thought that would be a closed matter, I was tired and for this discussion I would need my full concentration. I focused to hide my true feelings. "I can't tell you, as I said before, I gave my promise. A promise is a promise. I can't oppose my way, I want you to respect that!"

"Have you been there because he is ill?" He was insisting and smart. He had hit the point.

I mastered to reveal no emotion and looked him straight into the eye. He stared at me, trying to read my ki, I hoped I masked it enough. I decided not to answer and pretended to be defeated. "Am I allowed to see him again?"

"You learned something, my wife! Of course you can, I just wanted you to know where your place is. Why do you want to see him so badly?"

IDIOT! "Come on, Saitou, he is my friend, furthermore he is so much more handsome than you!" Was I nuts? 'Tokio! First comes thinking then speaking!'

I stood his glare, he started to smirk. "Sometimes you are really funny, Tokio!"

What? He thought I was joking? I tried to sit up in his arms and replied annoyed "Have you ever looked in a mirror beside Okita-san?"

He chuckled, started to laugh, I was afraid of being dropped, when he abruptly stopped laughing and looked me deep into the eye "That's not what attracts you to me, Tokio!"

Finally we were in our room and he placed me onto the futon, his appearance attracted me indeed, the sexual tension between us was tangible. "If I was handsome, you would not stay with me." Feeling him so near, I was not able to resist his strong, over-whelming presence and obvious intention. I would choose passion over pride again, wouldn't I?

I reached behind me and untied the obi slowly, never leaving his face with my eyes, he stared back, I let the kimono drop to my elbows. I was sitting in full moonlight and he reached out to touch my left shoulder, touching my scar. "Were did you get this scar, Tokio?"

I looked down to his hand on my scar "It happened after my parents were killed, I was distracted for a moment and a shuriken hit me. I was lucky, that a friend dropped by to visit us, he helped me out. Otherwise I would be dead now."

"I guess I'll have to thank this friend of yours." He pulled me closer, I started to open the knot of his kimono reached out my hand to follow the lines his muscles made on his bared chest. "You have more scars, Saitou-san."

/

When I woke up next day, Saitou was already gone, he must have dressed me in the yukata I was wearing. Maybe I could sleep longer today. I closed my eyes sleepily and dozed away.

When I heard the shouji open, I smiled into my blanket, it had to be Saitou, perhaps he had brought me some breakfast. "Here is your patient, doctor."

At an instant I was wide awake and sitting upright on the futon, staring wide-eyed at Saitou and the horrified doctor at the entrance. "It's you? The mad woman?" My Gods, I wanted to vanish into thin air.

"You know her, doctor?" I shot some death glares at the doctor, who didn't know whom to fear more, Saitou or me and I hoped he got the meaning.

"Yes, she came into my clinic yesterday and pulled me out of my usual business. A very rude behaviour, I'd say." He didn't get the meaning, I tried to look more threatening without making Saitou suspicious. What was not easy!

"What did she want?" Why was Saitou so incredible nosy?

It was time to interfere, obviously this doctor was a little daft. "I wanted him to look after one of the girls, she wasn't feeling well."

I hoped I was threatening enough for the doctor, but I was sure, I couldn't fool Saitou with this obvious lie and I was surprised that Saitou dropped the subject "She had hurt her knee yesterday, would you please have a look at it?"

The doctor was suspicious about me, but he didn't contradict me and knelt beside me. Saitou joined him while the doctor examined my knee. Every little oone of his movements was under close observation of Saitou. "It is nothing serious, keep it quiet for one or two weeks, don't stain it and it will be all right."

He bandaged my knee to prevent that I bend it and made efforts to leave. There was no way I would let him leave with Saitou "Saitou-san, could you please help me standing up and dressing?"

I tried to put on a seducing, pleading look and it seemed to work. Or was Saitou playing again? Anyway, he would stay in the room and wouldn't talk with the doctor who fled the room.

/

Some days later, I was woken up by smoke in the air. HE WAS SMOKING HERE? I turned around, wide-awake at instant, there he knelt by the table, his back faced me. He was reading in one of my books, smoking! How dare he! I grabbed the wooden head rest and threw it with all my strength at him.

I caught him off guard, I bet he thought I wouldn't be awake so quickly, he must have noticed that I was stirring. The head rest hit the back of his head with a satisfying crash.

He turned slowly around, holding the hurt spot, his eyes were gleaming. "What was that for?"

"WHAT? I definitely don't want you to smoke when you are reading one of MY books. You ruin them! Give it back!" My voice got louder with every word, I yelled the last words.

"Try!" He held the book high in the air, it was Miyamoto Musashi's book about ken-jutsu! I was mad at him now, not able to control myself any longer. I forgot my hurt knee. I jumped up, directly at him, he evaded me easily and I ruined the next wall. 'Too stupid, Tokio. You have no chance succeeding when you are so predictable. He is a skilled fighter, you have to think of something special.'

I stood up, my cat-eyes gleaming, there had to be a way. He stayed at the same spot in our room, I approached him step by step, closed the tie of my yukata with a determined movement. I wanted to erase this self-confident and arrogant grin out of his face.

He pretended to be uninterested and bored, but I knew he was concentrated to block my next attack. Was there something I could use in this room? We were watching each other, circling round each other, I had to be careful, not to reveal my intention. There was nothing in this room I could use, I would have to attack, perhaps I could use his block or his counterattack. I wanted the book back at instant!

I dodged, rushed forward for a second direct attack, he had a superior smile on his face, did he think I was that stupid? I leapt in the air, kicking my leg out, he would block that for sure, there he was, using one arm, still holding the book in the other. He felt so superior, that he used one arm? I got pissed, his arm hit me on my left waist, I was quick enough to grab his arm, but I was too light to throw him around. I should have imagined, he was too strong, I was no match for him in strength and weight.

But I caught him off guard, he didn't expect me reacting so quickly, he lost his balance and we both went to the floor. I was quick enough to throw one arm around his neck and reach out for the book, but the moment of surprise was gone, he stood. I dug my hands in his kimono, I was clunk to his back, no way he could get rid of me without dropping the book. He tried to pull me off him with one hand but he didn't succeed with my legs around his waist and my nails dug into his kimono.

All of a sudden he stopped to move and I was aware. What was that? SMOKE? We both sniffed and looked around alarmed. A tatami was burning! It must have happened when I had hit the back of his head, he must have dropped the cigarette onto the floor.

He grabbed the futon and threw it on the fire, I took a vase handy, threw the flowers out and spilled the water on the fire. Three tatami had caught fire and were ruined, in addition to that one wall.

We had our second talk with Kondou.

"We apologise, Kondou-sensei!" We both were bowing deeply, Kondou sighed.

"Let me think! When was that, when did we have our last talk? Tokio-san? Saitou-kun? Do you remember?"

We were both bowing deeply again "We apologise, Kondou-sensei, we are sorry. It was a week ago." We kept our heads lowered.

"Raise, you two." He had a close look into our faces, we were still messed up from our brawl, Kondou sighed once more. "What was it this time? Tokio-san?"

"He was reading in one of my books, smoking in our room. I was mad at him and wanted the book back, but he didn't hand it back. I ruined the wall by attacking him and he lightened the tatamis by dropping his cigarette."

"Saitou-kun?"

"It was Miyamoto Musashi's book about ken-jutsu." HA! If that explained everything! "I was reading, when suddenly a head rest hit the back of my head."

"Tokio-san, apologise." No! This was unfair!

"That was a very precious book! It is an original! Over two-hundred years old!"

"Tokio-san, you are married now, it is his book also. Don't be childish."

"But I wasn't smoking and burning the tatami!"

"APOLOGISE!" HUH, he sure was threatening.

"I'm sorry, Saitou-san." grinding teeth together, bowing deeply in front of him.

"Saitou-kun, apologise!" Did I hear right?

"Why?" Now Saitou looked confused. I'd love to have a picture of it.

"Don't question me, Saitou-kun, the fire was your fault, apologise."

Seeing him bowing and excusing sent ME on a very long ego-trip, I wasn't able to hide the wide, satisfied grin plastered on my face. "I'm sorry, Tokio-san." I loved it!

"I hope you two behave for some time. We have an important briefing with Matsudaira in one month, he will visit Kyoto and inspect his organisations. That includes an afternoon together with the squad leaders and their wives. I desperately looked for a good excuse to exclude you two, especially you, Tokio-san, but there was none. I want you two to behave there! Tokio-san, manage to calm down your temper there or you are in BIG trouble."

Huh, idiot! I knew how to behave in the public!

Kondou waved his hand to indicate we were released, we were just about to leave the room when he continued "I hope the next talk won't be so soon."

Saitou seemed to be distracted for the fact that he had to excuse himself, he would be chewing on that for a while to come. I had my ego-trip, smiling wide, we would have to clean the room and repair the wall.

/

Hours later I was hungry, it was evening by now, we had finished cleaning and repairing. "I want to eat something, let's go to the yakitori-ya." EGO-TRIP!

"That's on the other end of the district!" He tried to protest, but I was the one responsible for our money.

"I know, Saitou. But I love it! It is so tasty!" MY ego-trip. I grabbed his sleeve and hopped on one leg to the stairs, dragging him with me, he muttered something like "only trouble, getting on my nerves."

"Come on, you will enjoy the yakitori!" I turned smiling widely, anxious waiting for him to pick me up and carry me downstairs.

In response he just smiled seeing me anxious and exited like this, he seemed to like me in this mood. "Let's go!"

The yakitori-ya was crowded when we arrived, it was late in the evening by now, I was walking slowly due to my hurt knee.

The meat tasted delicious and we had some sake to the meal, we were in a fantastic mood as we left. He even picked me up to carry me home, I placed an arm around his neck and snuggled closer, my head resting on his shoulder, I was tired. "Thanks for carrying me, Hajime-san." It felt so comfortable, I was satisfied with the world.

He muffled something like "No need to stain the hurt knee, Tokio."

I snuggled closer, he was warm and he gave me a sense of security I only knew from my parents. "Thank you, darling." Was I nuts? What mattered, I said it. I had to watch my words better when I was tired, but he didn't mind, he even smiled down at me.

He continued to carry me home, when suddenly I heard noises of a fight, the smell of blood reached my nose. Saitou set me back on my feet, he was alarmed. "Stay here, hide between the houses."

Before I could protest, he rushed forward to the direction the noises came from, I heard him challenging his opponents and attacking. Why was I hurt and wearing a kimono? I wanted to fight as well! The excitement of a near battle and the smell of blood made me forget to be careful. I stepped out of the shadows and began to head towards the noises.

But what was that? I felt a familiar ki behind me, I had met him already, Battousai. I turned to face him, again I lacked weapons and again we stared at each other. Time was moving slowly, I felt like being trapped in time, facing him. Why didn't he attack?

"Tokio, come on, let's go home." MY GOD, Saitou was coming back and I stood between them! I wanted to stay alive! I could feel when he came around the corner, his ki abruptly changed,

"Tokio, please, come back!" His voice was pleading with urge, I could feel him extending one hand before he touched my shoulder and pushed me behind him. "Tokio, go home!"

"No, I don't leave you here alone!" I felt tears raising in my eyes, this was a strong opponent, would Saitou be able to defeat him? I didn't want him to get killed, he was the only family I had and I had started to love him!

I stepped forward, determined, laid one hand on his shoulder, turned him to face me "Please, don't fight here. I don't want you to get injured before my eyes. Please, Hajime-san."

He turned back, ignoring me, prepared to fight. "He is gone! But why he didn't attack? Why he didn't kill you? He must have noticed that you belong to me."

"I told you already, I had the same question the last time, I don't know!"

He sheathed his sword "Strange. I missed him again, that's all your fault." He looked in my face and must have realised how concerned I was about him. He pushed his anger aside and picked me up to carry me home.

When we finally reached our room he sat me back on my feet, saying "It is best for you to stay at home the next days."

"Why?"

"You are hurt, you can't move properly. You will get killed, you are too weak at the moment. There are a lot of Ishinshishi around and Battousai saw you with me. I DON'T WANT YOU TO WALK AROUND! You are an easy target, so STAY AT HOME!"

I hated to admit it, but he was right. AND I hated the words he was using.

Some days later:

I hopped down the stairs on one leg, I was an idiot, to get hurt so easily, I would have to improve my fighting skills, or I would be killed in Kyoto. I was frustrated being forced to stay at home with this silly injury. Tokio, you were a moron, to let someone hurt you so easily! FRUSTRATION! Hurt and forced to stay at home!

Some crepes with sugar would be fine now! They would calm down my nerves, my anger about myself. But I had to be careful, I was not sure, but Kondou wouldn't be pleased by the idea of me cooking French dishes. This was an organisation that fought against foreign influences on Japan. WHY HADN'T HE THROWN ME OUT OF THE HOUSE? I didn't understand him, there must be more behind this relationship to my father.

I reached the kitchen, the two girls were there, chatting. By seeing me, they clapped in their hands

"Tokio-san! How are you?"

"Fine, thank you. I wanted to prepare myself some sweet cakes. Do you want to assist?"

They smiled widely, clapping in their hands again "Hai, hai!" They were so innocent, so happy, that was seldom these days. They always managed to cheer me up with their behaviour.

When I finished the first crepe, putting sugar on it, I handed it over to them. "Oishii!" "Oishii desu!" They squealed, the crepes vanished in no time. I smiled wide. I thought that too. I liked Japanese sweets, but I preferred French ones.

We had a amusing time together, till they were called to do the laundry, and I hopped back to our room.

The first thing I saw when entering were my father's swords lying on a rack. I had to change my fighting technique, I was still young, I was still able to do that. The fighting style of my father was perfect for him, he was stronger, but I was definitely to weak to handle the katana with one hand with the appropriate strength.

Saitou had been right, these were old swords, made by a master swords-smith and these two were his master-pieces. I might give up fighting with the katana, but the wakizashi? The katana "might" and the wakizashi "adjustment" belonged together, they were made two-hundred years ago. They were unique, it was very seldom, that a pair of named swords made by a master and could be retained through the times. They had strange names, but they were made for my ancestor, the names were suiting him.

I was trained in shuriken-jutsu, perhaps I should use shurikens? I could hide them in my obi, after all, a woman carrying a sword in the public is strange and being married, I would have to dress and behave as a woman. Or a dagger? In addition to the shuriken?

The shuriken hold to much memories for me, the death of my parents, the ninja that had trained me, but they would be a smart choice. I could handle them quite perfect. What about the wakizashi? I took the wakizashi in my hands, unsheathed it, inspected it.

It ended my father's sufferings, it had not been a merciful death after the torture before. Being murdered by his own sword! How cruel! If he had been allowed to end his life by himself, it would be different, but another man using the "adjustment"?

I heard the shouji opening and closing behind me, Saitou was back, he remained at the entrance. Maybe he was wondering what I was doing with the short sword, I decided to tell him what I was thinking about. "My father was finally murdered with it. I hate the idea, that they had been able to get the sword from him and finish him with it. It is unbelievable! Why had they been able to get his swords? He always told me that only a dead man should lose his grip on the hilt. Why didn't he do that?"

"What exactly happened?"

"I was on an errand, I had to buy fish. When I came back home, my parents already had been slaughtered. I found them in one room, my mother pinned to one wall with daggers and my father pinned to the other wall, the wakizashi pierced through his heart. It was obvious, that they took pleasure in my mother before killing her and that they forced my father to watch it before they killed him slowly. What a strange tactic! Why they didn't kill my father first? He was skilled, he was a threat! The assassins were still around when I came back, till today I wonder why my father didn't kill one of them. I'm not so skilled as he was and I managed to kill three of them."

Why wasn't Saitou saying anything? I turned around facing him, his face was pale and he looked distracted for a moment. This time I was sure, I wasn't imagining things. "I don't understand what threw him so out of his way."

"I can." WHAT? He understood? What a strange day!

"Tokio, are you really that cold-blooded?"

I still looked wondering at him "What?"

"Your father was dishonoured for marrying your mother and you think that he was able to see her suffering and dying cold-blooded?"

"He always told me that fighting comes first. If you want to win a fight, you have to block your emotions, hide them and concentrate on your opponent, judge him. He was perfect in controlling his feelings, I could never understand that, I was not able to do that as perfectly as he did. He would betray his own words by being distracted by emotions. My mother would have been a weak point."

Visibly that knocked Saitou out off his socks "You think this would be a betrayal?"

"Yes. How would you call it?"

"I think his feelings were too deep to gain control over them."

What a strange thing to say for an experienced fighter like Saitou, I stared wide-eyed at him "You think his love for my mother distracted him?"

He stayed quiet, looking at me, I raised the wakizashi "Maybe you're right, but that was their death sentence."

He still looked a tad pale, was he shocked about my story or about my cold comment? "I'm sure, I'm right, Tokio."

The day of the briefing with Matsudaira came, I decided to dress in the kimono Saitou gave me on our wedding day. I was a little afraid of wearing it, it was so expensive! It fitted perfectly and looked gorgeous on me, I admit, I admired myself.

Saitou came in, I turned facing him "Doesn't that look wonderful? Thank you very much!"

"Yes." What? Only a yes? I jumped forward with incredible speed, it was not easy in this heavy kimono, and grabbed his kimono, pulled him closer.

"How do I look, Saitou?"

His wolfish grin betrayed his outward sobriety „Good."

"WHAT?!" I gave him one of my death glares "Come on, you are better than that."

"Gorgeous. You'll be the most stunning woman in the room and I'll be careful that Matsudaira doesn't demand his tribute from us. But I already go the best part." Unmistakable he laid his hand on my waist and pulled me in his embrace, ruining my make-up and my carefully arranged clothes.

That was properly that best I could get, I released him, and we set off with the others.

/

We sat down at our places, Saitou on the table, I was behind him. I would get my meal together with the other women once our men had finished, we had to serve them first. This would be hard to stand. I could bet that the only reason why we were allowed to take part was to serve our husbands. And I was sure, I'd kill Saitou when he dared to use this!

Finally the Daimyo entered. What an ugly, small, corrupt man! We all bowed deeply, greeting him

"You are very welcome, Matsudaira-sama!"

With a self-confident and satisfied grin that nearly made me fleeing the room, he sat slowly down, satisfied looking at his followers, it were twelve men, seven with their women. It was mere luck, that we were on the other end of the room, I wouldn't have stood it to sit close to him.

How could one single person be so slowly in sitting down? When he knelt finally, he indicated with a slight wink of his hand he that we were allowed to sit up. MY GOD, that took ages.

Opposite of us Soushi was seated, the only one who had a good view at me, Saitou's tall body covered mine, I was out of sight of the other squad leaders, Hijikata, Kondou and the Daimyo.

Matsudaira opened his mouth and with his first words I realised, that it would be a hard afternoon. He was speaking in a monotonous voice and started with Shinto stuff. Planning the next celebration, nothing I was interested in, I wouldn't be allowed to take part as a woman.

Half an hour later:

I saw his mouth opening, closing, revealing words. What the hell was he speaking of? The others bowed, I bowed together with them, deeply "Yes, Matsudaira-sama!"

Soushi seemed to be suffering, too, the others were out of sight.

One hour later:

That idiot was still talking - bowing again - I really didn't know about what. Did he change to Zen? I hissed slightly, to throw a furtive glance at the rest. They really seemed to focus on that idiot, especially the women. Did they hope to get a better position for their men by attracting this ugly man? Stupid and futile! No proper man would fall for such an obvious attempt!

One and a half hour later:

I had developed an effective method not to miss the bowing and the "Yes, Matsudaira-sama!" by now, despite thinking of completely different things. Saitou was way to close to feel at ease.

I could extend my hand, grab the wakizashi out of his hakama, thrust it in my belly, rip it up to my stomach. It would be a short moment of pain, but the suffering would be over.

Two hours later:

I must do something or I would be killed by boredom instantly. - bowing - What could I do? I already considered suicide half an hour ago and turned it down, this was not worth it. What could be fun here? Soushi revealed an interested face, but I was sure he was pissed. This was supposed to be a military briefing and not a religious theory lesson.

My glance stopped at Saitou's back, he was sitting upright, stiffened, hands on his knees, formal, fitting to the occasion. If we wouldn't be here there were a thousand things we could do together. His hands running down my spine, his mouth kissing my breast. What a wonderful imagination! - bowing - My head leaning against his well-toned chest, feeling the heat of his body, kissing him

passionately. I COULDN'T STAND THIS ANY LONGER!

I leaned forward, lucky that I was out of sight and reached out with one hand under his hakama, he straightened up even more. I raised my mouth to his ear whispering "Do you know, what I want to do right now?"

His face reddened, he was a master of self-control, he would need it, he couldn't move, he was too exposed. I knew that I would have to pay for this later, but what did it matter? Preferably a quick death later than dying here slowly. I slipped my hand on under his hakama, whispering into his ear.

"I'd love to take a bath now! Can you imagine me naked in the tube?"

"Can you imagine me standing naked in the moonlight?"

"You know? I didn't dress with underwear today."

I could bet that he needed his whole self-control, sweat was running down his neck.

"ppff" What was that? I looked up directly at Soushi who was staring wide-eyed at us, he had choked on his tea.

They all bowed, I retreated my hand quickly, the briefing seemed to be interrupted or ended.

"Yoroshii, Matsudaira-sama!" It was ended.

The Daimyo left the room, followed by Kondou, Hijikata and their wives, the other squad leaders stood up and prepared to leave. Why was Saitou still kneeling? He turned, facing me, as the last men left the room, his eyes gleamed, he grabbed my wrist. "So you didn't dress with underwear."

I had to swallow hard, his intention was clear and we would be in BIG trouble when discovered. I would be the one to be blamed. For sure! He pulled me onto his lap and miraculous we managed to stay quiet all the time, fearing discovery.

We stayed embraced for a little while longer, holding on to each other, breathing heavily while Saitou brushed my hair briefly with his hands. "You look messed up, my kitten. You should visit the bath-room before meeting the others."

I nodded, stood up, arranged my kimono while he was closing his hakama. "I'll meet you at the front-gate, Hajime-san."

I was on my way back from the bath-room, when all of a sudden I felt a very familiar ki. Could it be? I stopped short in my tracks, shocked to the bones!

Of course, the Daimyo brought some ninja with him and he was one of the best from Osaka-jo. Why I had to meet him here? He stepped out of the shadows that had hidden him. He was as handsome as I remembered him. Tall, well-trained, always aware of his surroundings, always ready to fight, a face that revealed no emotion. "Tokio-san?" I felt the world fainting, it couldn't be!


	8. Chapter 8 Ninja and talk

Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own RuroKen, I am not Watsuki, I don't own anything... though I wish I'd own Saitou =^^=.

To the chapter:  
The idea for the stitching scene I got by reading Gypsy-chan's "After the rain", it can be found on her homepage.

_All things move toward their end  
I knew before I met her that I would lose her__  
I swear I made every effort to be good to her__  
I swear I made every effort not to abuse her__  
Crazy bracelets on her wrists and her ankles__  
And the bells from the chapel went jingle-jangle_  
By Nick Cave ("Do you love me?")

**CHAPTER 8: NINJA AND TALK**

Why did I have to meet him here? He stepped out of the shadows that had hidden him, he still was as handsome as I remembered him: tall, well-trained, always aware of his surroundings, always ready to fight, a fair face that revealed no emotion.  
"Tokio-san?" I felt the world fainting, it couldn't be!

***FLASHBACK***

It was in the afternoon of my 16th birthday. I was enjoying the sun in the backyard of our house and had started to read in my new book.

"Tokio-chan?"

"Masahiro-san! Hello!"

I knew that my father worked for his group in Shimmachi. It was useful, my father had been dishonoured and could move in the district without attracting attention and we could afford to live comfortable with the money he earned. Yoshinori Masahiro on the other hand obtained first-hand information about the happenings going on in the district for the Daimyo. A profitable agreement for both sides.

"Hello and a happy birthday!" Masahiro hugged and hold me tightly before he released me. "I have a present for you, here!" He handed me a small package, what could it be?

Excited I opened it, it contained five shuriken, belonging to his ninja-group, I'd recognise these typical tooth everywhere. "Thank you very much, Masahiro-san!" I hugged him back, what a special present!

"You can handle them quite well by now, I thought, they might prove useful."

"It is wonderful, thank you." I smiled widely at him, he would never forget my birthday, he always cared for me, sometimes too much for my taste.

Yoshinori hold me back, looking intensely into my eyes "Have you considered my offer?"

He made me feel uncomfortable all of a sudden, under his piercing stare. I didn't want to answer! He was like a big brother for me, a good comrade from the first day of my life and of course I had made some experiences with him, but I had been quite shocked when he had asked me if I wanted to be his wife. I had never thought he would take it this seriously, I was promised to another one already and he knew that.

"Masahiro-san?" The hope in his eyes made my intestines revolting. "You have always been a good friend for me." Now he looked frightened, and I didn't want to hurt him! "Give me some more time."

"How much more, Tokio? I can't stand this any longer! I want an answer right now!"

"Then, I'm afraid, my answer is no."

"But I have influence enough to break off this stupid bond your father and his friend arranged when you were born. If I would know, you love me and want to be with me, I would be able to solve this little problem."

He considered this to be a 'little problem'. What a strange view! "It is a given promise, Masahiro-san, there is no honourable way to break it."  
Masahiro wouldn't give up that easily, there was no other way then confronting him with the truth "In addition to that, I don't love you. You are nothing more than a big brother and a good friend for me." Now he was definitely hurt, his eyes showed his emotions clearly. But he had asked for the hard way by being so persistent.

I felt uncomfortable around him from that day on.

One week after my birthday, my parents had been murdered, he arrived in time to save me, but everything had a strange taste.

I found shelter by a family close to my father, they lived in Shim-machi and owned a brothel there. Yoshinori dropped by nearly everyday to comfort me, I asked him to investigate the 'incident', but he wasn't able to gather one information or to give a possible solution.

I got suspicious.

Three months later, he had to leave for Kyushu, an important case had occurred in Nagasaki, he told me good-bye and left. Trying to persuade me again to marry him, saying with the death of my parents the bond would be invalid.

I had a VERY strange feeling about the affair by this time. There was not one clue about my parents death, and he wasn't able to find out even a little lead. He was the leader of one of the most powerful ninja-groups of Japan! It couldn't be that something kept hidden for them! What influence must an organisation possess to be able to fool Masahiro's group?

I, having to fend for myself, had no chance to solve the case.

When he was in Kyushu this marriage offer from the Shinsengumi came. The setting of events occurred suspicious to me from the first day.

I wasn't able to refuse the offer taking part and as it seemed to be the best solution, I set off for Kyoto. I feared Yoshinori by now.

***End Flashback***

"Masahiro-san?" Here he was, Yoshinori Masahiro. Leader of the Ninja-group in Osaka, the one that trained me with the shuriken, the one who had helped me out after the killing of my parents. Yoshinori, belonging to one of the most famous, powerful families and ninja-groups throughout Japan.

"Surprised to see me here?" I still noticed the hurt look in his eye, I knew him better than anyone else who was till alive, I bet no other than me was able to see through his disguise.

"Do you have new information for me?" I already knew the answer, but it was the only thing I was able to ask, his presence disturbing me more than I wanted to admit. I couldn't hide a slight shaking in my voice.

He lowered his head "I'm afraid, no." He raised his head, looking at me again.

"You are a much more beautiful woman then I recall, Tokio. You are a breathtaking beauty now."

This would be tough to stand. I smiled and prepared for the following conversation. Show no emotion! Focus! Mask your ki! I could do better than stammering like a little girl in front of him. I wasn't afraid! "Thank you very much, Masahiro-san."

"You are so much more a woman now."

Irrational as ever when he spoke with me. How had such a man been able to gather such forces around him and to gain such influence? "Don't be silly, it's only half a year past."

"I heard you are married now, Tokio." He was joking, wasn't he? 'heard'? He gathered every information he was able to get, especially about me.

"You heard right, Masahiro-san."

There was a slight pause before he continued. "Why did you do this to me, Tokio?"

"Did what?"

"You left without saying good-bye when I was in Kyushu! There was no way for me to be back in time in Osaka!"

Exactly that had been my intention. Maybe I had to make it clear once more -he could be incredible slowly in understanding if something didn't please him. "Why should I care? I told you once and I'll say it again: You are not that important for me. We had a nice time together, but that's over! Realise that!"

"You even left the shuriken in Osaka that I gave you!"

"There was no reason to take them with me. They'll always remind me of the murdering of my parents and of you. It was quite a shock when I pulled it out of my shoulder and realised that it was from your group."

"They acted without my permission, believe me, Tokio. As I heard of it, I ran to your house as fast as I could, but I was too late. The traitors got what they deserved."

Indeed. He had killed everyone before they could mutter one word... what might have been a clue to me. "You already told me a hundred times, Masahiro-san. But I'm still looking for an answer. Who was the one behind this? The control of a ninja-group is absolute, why didn't they follow your orders? The family of my father had no reason to take revenge, this was cleared years ago." There was no need to show him that I was distrusting him, but maybe he knew it. How blind and daft was he when it came to me? Did he want me so badly that he closed his eyes from reality, that he ignored my feelings?

"I don't know, I am still investigating." I didn't believe it!

"You are investigating for over one year now and you still know nothing? I'm disappointed!"

"Why did you agree to this stupid marriage meeting?"

He dropped the subject, be on guard! "Why not? They asked me to take part and I agreed. Was there another possibility? I don't think so. I didn't want to get sold in their brothel."

"I can't accept that! You are married to a third class samurai, Tokio! You deserved better!"

I felt anger rising, Saitou was maybe a second class samurai, but NOT a third class samurai. 'Calm, Tokio. He wants to provoke you!'  
"Better? You mean someone like you? Don't be ridiculous, Masahiro-san."

"Yes, I mean me. Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I didn't want to. There was no reason to wait."

Masahiro took a intense look at me "Don't tell me you allowed that weakling to touch you. I always thought I would be the one, the first man for you."

That moron was as stubborn as I remembered him. Be careful, Tokio! "How often do I have to say that, before you realise it? I don't love you! There was no reason to wait for you. And of course he touched me, he is my husband. Did you forget?"

"Do you love THAT man, Tokio?"

"I'm married to him, there was no reason to reject him." No need to tell him what had happened, he would not be amused.

"DO YOU LOVE HIM?"

"That's none of your business!"

He seemed to give in for now, but obviously he wasn't seriously dropping the subject "I wanted to see you because I need a translation of this."

Did he want to make me laugh? What a poor excuse for approaching me like this! He handed me a document in French, it seemed important, official, it was quite long. I didn't want to see him again!

"I'll need some time for that. It seems to be difficult stuff."

"Is one month enough?" Damn, no way he would give up.

I judged the paper once more, there was no serious reason to reject it, and I couldn't think of something to talk me out of this. My brain had stopped working in his presence. "It might be enough, yes."

"I'll see you then, I'll visit your house. Make sure that this husband of yours is not around!"

NO WAY! I didn't want to meet him alone. "D'accord." He turned and vanished into the shadows that had revealed him earlier.

The demons of my past had came back to hunt me. To hunt me down? I didn't hope so.

Deep in thought, hiding the document in my kimono, I walked around the corner of the house, but what was that? I sniffed, cigarette-smoke! Saitou had been here? I'd recognise his smell everywhere by now, I was sure I was right. He must have heard everything if he had been here. I smiled evilly inside, these cigarettes would betray him everywhere at every time.

There they were, Saitou and Soushi were waiting for me at the front gate, the others must have left already. It seemed as if they had stood there all the time. If they wanted to pretend this, I would play along with them. We set off for our walk home, it would be our last walk with Soushi through Kyoto.

/

It was a typical hot, stifling heat, Kyoto summer night and I was reading in one of my books, 'The Three Musketeers'. I had started reading because it was so muggy that I hadn't been able to fall asleep. I had dressed in the lightest yukata I had been able to find, it was too warm, it clung to me like a second skin.

Saitou was on his round through the city with Soushi, who was looking more and more diseased with every passing day.

I had lightened a lantern and was so absorbed in the book, that I didn't perceived my surroundings.

In my subconscious I noticed someone opening and closing the shouji, I nodded my head, to indicate that I registered the presence of someone, he said something I didn't realise exactly what, it was Saitou.

Now he spoke again, louder, and forced me to listen. "I said someone cut my kimono on the shoulder, you have to stitch it."

Damn, I lost the row I was reading! What was that? Stitching? Not yet, this part of the book was so suspenseful! "Needle and threat are over there." Where was the last sentence I read? There it was.

"WHAT?" Couldn't he be quiet? I lost the place again.

"I said, stitching utensils are over there in the box!" Found the sentence again, beginning to read, absorbed in a romantic scene with D'Artagnac.

"I said YOU have to stitch it." I lost the concentration again.

"Why me? That's your kimono and I didn't cut it. When you let someone cut it, it is your fault, then you have to repair it." I WANTED TO READ! Concentrating back on this romance in the book.

Suddenly I had a kimono over my head. ENOUGH! I slammed the book closed, turned around, snatched the kimono of my head and threw the book at him. He easily evaded it, it flew through the shouji across the floor.

There he was again, smiling self-confident and superior about my stupid attempt.

It was so hot and muggy! No weather to lose temper, be annoyed and fight. He was dressed only in his hakama, I was only wearing a light, short yukata. It became sensuous.

We were circling round each other, the sexual tension was tangible, but first there would be some fun with fighting. I was sure, he knew what I was up to as I started my attack, kicking out my leg with full speed. He would catch me, we would roll over the floor,...

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" HEARTATTACK! I wasn't able to react and break off my attack, I hit Saitou on his chest, he was distracted only for a second, my impact sent us both through the shouji down on the streets of Kyoto.

This time I didn't have a hard hit, I clung to Saitou who hit the ground with his back.

Resume: Two shouji's damaged, one ruined, we both lying half-naked on the street. In addition to that, Hijikata had a big bump on his head from my book.

We had our third talk with Kondou.

"We apologise, Kondou-sensei." We both bowing deeply, Kondou sighing, this time a fuming Hijikata by his side.

"Tokio-san?" Kondou seemed to be at the end of his tether. It was early in the morning, Hijikata had his head bandaged, the situation was bad for me, this time it seemed to be completely my fault.

Bowing, saying "I'm sorry, Kondou-sensei, Hijikata-sensei. It was my fault. Saitou-san came home and wanted me to stitch his kimono, interrupting me while reading a book. I got mad at him and threw the book at him. He stepped aside, it flew through the two shouji's into Hijikata-sensei's room, hitting his head."

Saitou swallowed, Kondou's eyes nearly bulged of their sockets, Hijikata was fuming mad at me now. I had three men against me, no chance to succeed. Kondou regained control, raising an eyebrow at Saitou. "Saitou-kun?"

"I just wanted her to stitch my kimono. There was no need to throw the book at me."

"Tokio-san, apologise." I was expecting that, but my ever present, inevitable resistance stirred inside me. Juvenile flippancy, I'd say. "But if Saitou-san hadn't stepped aside, all this wouldn't have happened. I supposed him to block the book." Perhaps there was a small light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.

"APOLOGISE!" HUH, how he managed to look so threatening?

"I'm sorry, Saitou-san."

"Second point: How did you two managed to sit half-naked in the street. Tokio-san?"

"I attacked him as Hijikata-sensei came into our room, yelling at us and he didn't block the attack."

"Saitou-kun?"

"We had a small brawl and I was distracted by Hijikata-sensei who was suddenly standing in our room. Her attack put me off balance and we went through the shouji down on the street."

Kondou sighed, shaking his head, Hijikata was still fuming mad. "Apologise, you two!"

"Why? It was her fault!" Saitou didn't understand, I didn't too.

"Don't question me again, Saitou-kun. I can expect from my men, that they aren't distracted by someone entering the room."

We both bowing deep "I'm sorry, Tokio-san." "I'm sorry, Saitou-san."

We both bowing deeper "We apologise, Hijikata-sensei."

Kondou seemed a bit relieved "Hijikata-san?"

He was fuming and annoyed "We want another room! My wife is not very pleased. A room far away from these two."

Kondou sighed "I'll see what is possible. You two can leave."

/

Some days later Saitou came back supporting Soushi who wasn't able to walk alone anymore. We laid him down on his futon, he didn't stop coughing and spitting blood, his end was near.

We looked after him the next days, his condition was getting worse with incredible speed. He had pulled himself together for such a long time, that his strength for this fight was wasted.

Saitou had to look around Kyoto to maintain 'law and order', most times I was alone with Soushi. We didn't speak much, he was too weak and we had talked so much in the past, that it wasn't necessary to exchange many words. But there was still something I wanted to know, this seemed to be a perfect moment. "I always wanted to know, why did you start to train me?"

He was very weak, his voice barely a whisper, but he smiled saying "I wanted to be sure that you can help that idiot out when he gets himself into trouble."

"Don't be ridiculous, Soushi! He is better than me, I'll be the one in trouble. He has his troop, his followers and his companions!"

Seriously Soushi looked aside "There will be times and situations in which you will be the only one beside him, Tokio. I can trust you, because I know you would never betray him. There are others I can't be so sure of." His inevitable smile reappeared "And I thought you deserve it, you love fighting, the competition, I could tell from the way you were using the swords."

"Thank you, Soushi." I changed the cold cloth on his forehead and handed him some tea. He soon fell asleep, looking alarmingly chalk-white.

I watched over him for some hours, changing the clothes, helping him to spit out the blood, that he didn't suffocated from his own blood, when the shouji opened. Saitou was back, coming towards us, kneeling down, laying his hand on my shoulder. "How is he?"

"It is getting worse with every hour, he is crumpling up. He spent all his energy to pretend that he is well" I caressed Soushi's cheek, there was only a mere shadow of his former self left, of the wolf he had been. But somehow he was still able to smile as he opened his eyes and watched us, Saitou squeezed my shoulder.

"It is good that you both are here." Soushi paused, he was too weak to speak much between his coughs, he paid a tribute to his tremendous loss of blood.

"You are my best friends, I want you to have my swords when I'm dead. Promise me to take them. It would be a waste to bury them with me. Tokio, you can use your and mine wakizashi as we trained." That was a long speech for him, he was exhausted, but he wasn't finished yet.

I squeezed his hand "We promise to take the swords."

"I want to ask a favour of you two." He was very serious now, I got alarmed and waited until he continued between his coughs.

"Please, help me out to the woods." My eyes widened in shock, he couldn't be serious! Saitou placed his other hand on my shoulder to calm me down and Soushi explained. "I can't die like this, you out of all people should understand me. Lying on a futon, suffering of a disease. This is no honourable ending for a Samurai like me."

"But Matsudaira owns your life! You can't do that, you can't define by yourself when your life ends." I couldn't help my outburst, the Daimyo wouldn't be pleased.

"I talked with Kondou-sensei. He will cover us and tell nobody of this. I don't have to tell you that this a secret that this isn't for the public, do I?"

I bowed in defeat. It was already cleared and Saitou seemed to know already. If I would be in Soushi's situation, I would properly choose the same way.

"But you are already too weak to handle the sword." I tried a last half-hearted protest.

Soushi looked deadly serious and determined "That's why I need your help out there. You both."


	9. Chapter 9 Okita's death

Standard disclaimers:  
I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do.

Dear readers,

I am sorry for the delay in updating, but I was considering for a very long time whether I should delete the scene with Okita's death... or not. I decided to keep it.

ON WITH THE STORY:

CHAPTER 9: OKITA'S DEATH

This day I had to dress in Okita's cloths, Hajime's were definitely too large for me. Dressing in a kimono would attract too much attention. An advantage not to neglect was, that I could take my swords with me, one could never be sure to be safe in Kyoto in days like these.

With a busy silence we set off for the woods, Hajime was literally dragging Okita with him, the once proud samurai was too weak already to walk on his own and even too weak to oppose the aid. I supported our friend on the other side to prevent Okita from staggering and to spare him blushes.

The weather was still hot and muggy, what made the task not any easier. We were soaked in sweat after heading down only one street and there were a lot more before we would reach the the forest, promising relief from the heat under the leaves of its trees.

It took us some more time it would have taken if Okita wouldn't be so faint and in search for a perfect place, secluded, hidden, we walked deeper into the woods. This wasn't a occasion we would want an accidental observer witnessing. Finally we found a small clearing, perfect for our plan. We helped Okita to kneel, he was exhausted already from the short way, coughing, breathing heavily.

But why did it have to be so hot and muggy? Even in the woods? Sweat was running down my face as well as Hajime's and Okita's and I took a cloth and wiped it away. My clothes were soaked and heavy from the high humidity, this was almost supernatural as if nature was fighting every living creature.

Hajime longed in his sleeve, revealed a cigarette, put it into his mouth and lightened a match. I felt like my eyes would bulge out of their sockets. What was this idiot thinking this is? A picnic? This was definitely too much on a day like this.

I made up to him, snatched the cigarette out of his mouth, flung it to the ground and stamped enraged on it until it was shredded to tiny bites. Okita actually laughed at Hajime's expression, who just stood there, dumpfolded, the lightened match still in his hand until it burned his fingers.

"Ouch! What was that for?" The match fell to the ground and he had the grace to stamp on it before the vegetation caught fire.

This was the day, I decided to educate him and pound some manners into him, with force if necessary and I probably choose the worst way possible. I yelled at him. "You are such an insensitive moron! What do you think is this? A party? Can't you at least be a bit more considerate?"

I turned my back to him, not without noticing that this would have been my death-sentence if I would be someone else and that he was struggling to keep his self-control. The whole scene was tugging on his nerves as well as on mine. The only composed person was Okita who actually should be the most upset.

I knelt by his side, who was still chuckling despite his near end and I embraced him gently, breathing in his ear. "Please, Soushi, don't leave me alone with this insensitive idiot."

"Maybe in our next life, Tokio. But I'm afraid there is no possibility in this one."

Hajime had decided to bury his clinch with me until later and stepped closer, a concentrated look in his eyes and Okita turned to him "I hope you two get along, when I'm not around and you won't knock down the whole house."

Heartfeltly I squeezed him one last time. "I'll miss you, Soushi."

Okita smiled evilly at Hajime "Next life she'll probably be my wife, Saitou-san."

I squeezed him even more, I felt tears welling up in my eyes, he was trying to ease the situation for all of us. "I'll never forget you."

"How do you want to end it, Okita-kun?" Hajime. Straight to the point.

"As honourable as possible, that is all I can ask for."

This was all the informatio we needed and I knelt behind him, laid my hands on his shoulders and supported him, so that he was able to sit upright. Hajime knelt in front of us, facing us.

Okita reached for his wakizashi, tried to draw it, he was already too weak. I placed one hand over his, helping him to unsheath the sword and withdraw my hand back on his shoulder. He would not be able to handle the sword, he was barely in the position to hold it.

Hajime stretched out both hands, laying his hands on Okita's. Did I really want to witness this? I tightened my grip on Okita's shoulders, as the short sword entered the lower part of his body, he stiffened in my grip.

They led the sword up to his chest, cutting his stomach up. He twitched, I pulled him close to me, his back lying on my chest, I looked in his face, he had a peaceful expression, smiling, the end of his suffering was near.

"Thank you both." With Okita's last words, Hajime drew his own wakizashi and cut his throat.

His body still twitched, I could see the intestines moving a last time, I caressed his shoulders for a while though I knew he couldn't feel it anymore. His eyes were clouded, the last thing he had seen had been my face.

Okita was dead.

I was prepared for this for some weeks now, despite this I felt the tears that had been welling up for some time, running down my cheeks, while I remembered our time together.

***flashback***

Our first meeting in the streets of Kyoto:  
"Ma,ma. calm down."  
"Remember, we are still looking for man like him."  
Sitting in the pub with him and Saitou, discussing.

Looking in his face during the marriage meeting.

Okita smiling warmhearted at me in the eating room, after my first night with Saitou:  
"How inconspicuous." I whispered to him.  
"You two were loud enough. You woke up the whole house. Your clothes were scattered everywhere." He whispered back.  
"That was nothing special. They should concentrate on their own business."  
"Believe me, THIS was special."

Okita standing in the dojo:  
"You need to improve your speed during the first step!"  
"It is based on offence."  
"You have to judge your opponent and not to overestimate yourself."

Okita giving my company and guidance during my wedding.

Our fateful session after the marriage:  
*Cough, cough* He wasn't able to defend himself.  
"It is nothing, Tokio, nothing to worry about!" Spitting blood.

The horrified doctor and Okita coughing and laughing:  
"Tokio, what have you done to the poor man! Sorry, doctor, she loses sometimes her temper. Nothing to worry about."  
"I was afraid it would be serious and I knew I would die. Please calm down and don't tell Saitou-san."  
"I promise, Soushi!"

Saitou stormed the room and punching his fist in Okita's face and smacking me out of the house.

The talk with him in the temple area:  
"I managed to calm down Saitou."  
"He is your husband, Tokio, he has to take care of you. You behave stubborn and childish."

Earlier today:  
"I can't die like this, understand me. Lying on a futon, suffering of a disease. This is no ending for a samurai like me."

Short before his death:  
"Thank you both."

***end flashback***

"Tokio, we have to bury him." I felt a hand on my shoulder, I had my arms still wrapped around Okita's head, my face buried in his hair, and Hajime was kneeling beside me.

This was not the time for grieving and mourning, we had to pay our respect. I placed Okita carefully on the ground, my determination focussed on one thought: I won't cry anymore!

I stood and looked up to Hajime, he appeared so calm though he had to be in turmoil, too. In the shadows of the trees his face appeared even more angular than it actually was, emphasising his strength and power. His presence was overwhelming and I grabbed his gi, raised to the tip of my toes and looked him deeply in the eyes to make sure that he realised that I was serious. "Please, promise, you'll never leave me." What was wrong with me? Why was I so sentimental?

His look only confirmed my suspicion and I felt tears raising despite my effort, when he suddenly embraced me.

He hugged me? Was I still alive? "I promise." He answered, either something must be wrong with my hearing, or I was in afterlife.

We remained in the comfortable position for a few minutes giving each other support and solace, until I felt alive and comforted, before we turned to bury Okita in silence.

To be honest to myself, Hajime did most of the work, but I filled my part the best I could. It took us some time, but finally we were finished and knelt some minutes in front of our friend's grave before we prepared to leave.

For the way back, I took Okita's swords, they would get in the way when we would need to fight. Later we would hand them to Kondou, the one person who had been the closest to Okita. He would know where to keep them.

We walked back in silence, we didn't exchange one word, there was no need, our relationship had shifted once again. Hajime was walking in front keeping a fast pace, me hard on his heels, I had trouble not to run following his long steps. People on the street evaded us, looked in another direction, we must have given them a scaring impression.

The first thing I did when we reached our room was: I placed the swords on a rack, they had been a heavy weigh on my my mind, I wanted to get rid of them.

Suddenly I felt Hajime's hand on my shoulder, squeezing it, his warmth was an assuring feeling. "Tokio? Is everything all right?"

I must have stared too long without reacting, making Hajime attentive. NO, I was strong, I could stand this alone! I flicked away his hand, "Everything is all right, no need to worry."

I turned around, put on one of my fake smiles, Saitou seemed irritated by my show, he saw directly through me. No, I'm not strong, I can't pretend this any longer!

All of a sudden I grabbed his gi, pulled him closer and buried my face on his chest and cried. I was sure I demanded too much of him with my changing moods and my need for closeness, but he placed his arms around me, to comfort me.

It was so wonderful to be so close to someone, I let myself fall completely, inhaling his scent, feeling the heat of his body close to mine.

For the first time I was not alone, not around someone I distrusted, after the death of a person close to me. I wanted to feel him even closer.

"Please make love to me." His look was confused, he couldn't cope with my from minute to minute changing mind.

"I want to be as close as possible to you, feel your heat, feel your closeness, feel YOU. Please, Hajime."

Longingly I looked up to him, he loosened his grip around my waist, raised one hand, touched my cheek, caressed it.

"Tokio?" I waited for him to finish the sentence, he didn't, looking into my pleading eyes. Whatever he wanted to say, he didn't. Instead he raised his other hand, cupped my face and kissed me on my mouth, gentle.

I really hated to sleep clinched to someone, it felt always so uncomfortable and was disturbing when the other one moved. This night I didn't mind, despite the muggy weather, I needed his comforting presence as close as possible.

/

During the next days I began translating the paper Yoshinori had given me and my feeling of uneasiness, of fear got stronger. This paper was really hot stuff about trading contracts between a French merchant in Marseille and a Japanese one in Nagasaki with connections to Osaka.

I paid attention not to show the translation to Hajime, there was no need to hide the original, he wouldn't be able to read it anyway.

On top of all I started to feel sick and my moods changed and swung more than usual, my reactions were unpredictable, poor Hajime... and it was impossible to keep my thoughts in line... I needed to concentrated back on this affair Yoshimori had drawn me in.

Japan was still closed for foreigners, the Dutch settlement on an island near Nagasaki being an exception. But maybe the Shogunate would lose against this revolution, the country would be opened to foreigners,.. The paper was definitely the death sentence for this Japanese merchant and his family. How had they been able to establish this connection?

Nagasaki was far away from Osaka, but it was still a risk. Anyhow, the content of the paper was clear, no misinterpretation possible. I would need some days to finish the translation, a lot of business and trade expressions were inside it, I had to clear this correctly. I didn't want them to get killed, based on a wrong translation.

Only one week was left until Yoshinori would come to get the translation, the feeling of uneasiness and discomfort got stronger and stronger.

It was high time to complete my equipment, and it was already late in the evening, Hajime was on his round through Kyoto.

I dressed in a gi and hakama, I chose neutral colours, no need to be more conspicuous as I already was. My hair was arranged in a high pony-tail, mine and Okita's wakizashi were in my sash, and I left the house. I had saved enough money to buy what I was up to.

I wouldn't been able to contact the ninja-group in Kyoto without drawing more attention to me than necessary, I would have to fend for myself. The streets seemed to be save and quiet and I reached the swords-smith I visited on my second day in Kyoto without any incidents.

I managed to persuade the swords-smith with some recommendations, some code words that I had been told in Osaka along with some extra money, to hand me what I wanted.

I left him a bit more relieved, a bit more assured, I had the dagger that I had wanted, some shuriken and kunai. The shuriken and the kunai had been a real problem, but I'm a really persisting and scaring person when I was up to something. It took me about two hours to persuade him by scaring the hell out of him, but it was the success that counted.

It was in the middle of the night already when I was on my way back to the headquarters, the moon was high in the sky, reflecting an oddly red light, it appeared to be bloodied. This was definitely a perfect night for a killing on the streets, for assassinations, a night for bloodshed, I could almost sense and smell it.

Only a few minutes later the scent of blood reached my nose, as I had expected. Without giving it a second thought I headed into the direction the smell came from. The odour grew stronger and stronger with every step I took, it was overwhelming intense, warm, metallic, coupled with the smell of intestines that had been cut up. I heard the cutting of metal through flesh, through bones before I saw it, heart the battle-cries and the last cries before death.

I came around the corner and stopped dead in my tracks, this was a bloodshed indeed. The Hitokiri was cutting up the last man standing, his sword still high in the air from the last attack, he lowered his sword and started to clean it. I would recognise him everywhere by now, he was too similar to me. Battousai. In between us lay about fifteen dead men, some cut through the throat, some cut through the head.

I was sure he must have spotted my presence by now, two related souls would recognise each other everywhere at every time. I had to disturb him in a similar way as he disturbed me. Why did I feel safe in Hajime's company, but felt threatened in his aura?

There he turned, sheathing his sword, the bloodied moonlight reflected on his face once more, staring at me.

This couldn't go on forever like that, say something, Tokio! "Hello?" I put on a fake smile, knees shaking, sure he knew everything I was thinking, he could see through my disguise without any effort.

"It is you again!" Ha, he was able to speak, he stepped closer, he was alarmed, on guard and I was more than relieved that I had dressed neutral.

"Yes." I stepped closer, too, on guard, paying attention if he would draw his sword, and our gaze locked. We were trying to figure out, what the other one was up to. Wasn't he surprised to see me once in a kimono and the other time in man's clothes? Only a few steps divided us now.

"TOKIO!" Someone was calling me? I was distracted, closed my eyes for a brief second.

"TOKIO!" I opened my eyes, Battousai had vanished, someone grabbed my wrist, turned my around and shook the hell out of me, it was Hajime.

"What the Hell are you doing in the streets? Are you nuts? Going outside alone? Didn't I tell you to stay at home?"

I needed a second to gather my thoughts and said the most incoherent thing I could in this moment. "I wanted to have a walk through the streets."

He was fuming mad at me, dragging me home behind him. Deep down inside I knew he was right and that was the most infuriating point about this evening. Damn, I got myself into trouble everywhere!

When we reached our house, he grabbed me around my waist, threw me over his shoulder, ripped of my sandals and carried me up to our room, where he dropped me roughly. He was still fuming mad.

"TOKIO; what is wrong with you?" What was that for an introduction and tone? Who he thought he was?

"NOTHING!"

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THERE?" Can't he be less commanding?

"Enjoying the fresh air and Kyoto by night."

"ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE?" What? I'm definitely not insane!

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Gods, I pissed him of! I couldn't keep my mouth shut, I couldn't stand this any longer.

I ran outside, heading for the kitchen, to fetch food and sit down in the eating room among some other Shinsengumi, fuming mad by myself now.

I knew exactly when he entered the room, I had sat down with my back to the entrance, but I saw the other one's holding their breath, NOW.

"DON'T RUN AWAY WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Enough! This commanding words and  
voice were driving me crazy.

I took the tray with rice-bowl, tea-cup and fish-plate on it, turned and threw it with all my strength at him.

The rice-bowl hit the head of a Shinsengumi sitting in the way, the tea spilled over a second man and the fish hit the face of the wife of the second man. Saitou evaded the tray. I threw my chop-sticks, too, useless.

"TALKING? YOU CALL THAT TALKING? YOU WERE YELLING AT ME AT INSTANT, INSULTING ME!"

"TOKIO; STAY QUIET!" He came closer, threatening, grabbed me on my gi, pulled me closer, his eyes gleaming, the others fled the room as fast as they could. Something snapped inside me.

I was sure, he was only concerned about me, why had I lost my temper again? He wasn't able to show his concern in a appropriate way and I reacted childish. Maybe he was right being mad and yelling at me. I calmed down.

"I didn't mean it this way, Hajime."

Looking deep into my eyes and seeing the regret there, he seemed to calm down, too.

We had our forth talk with Kondou.

/

"We apologise, Kondou-sensei." We both bowed low, Kondou sighed, the two men from the eating room sat by his side.

"Tokio-san?" Kondou was definitely at the end of his tether. It was early in the next morning, we were all tired. Again, the first step that had led to this escalation was my fault.

Bowing, saying "I'm sorry, Kondou-sensei. It was my fault. I was on the streets last night and got into some trouble with the Ishinshishi and my husband found me."

Hajime swallowed, Kondou's eyes nearly bulged of their sockets, the others looked astonished. I had four men against me, no chance to succeed. Kondou gained control, raising an eyebrow at Hajime before addressing me.

"Tokio-san, what for Heaven's sake have you done in the middle of the night in the streets? You know it is dangerous."

"I can't tell, I'm sorry, Kondou-sensei." Now I had managed to flip his lid.

He grabbed me by my gi, shaking me to oblivion "Is there some sense inside of you left, Tokio?" _ lying swirly-eyed on the floor, not able to answer. Kondou turned his attention to Hajime.

"Saitou-kun?"

"I thought she would be at home, when I suddenly heard noises of a fight, I rushed forward, she stood in the middle of the street, about fifteen dead Shinsengumi around her. She could be dead by now. I assume it was Battousai."

Kondou fuming mad, Hajime back to annoyed, the eyes of the others bulging out  
of their sockets. I regained full consciousness and wished to faint again.

"Tokio-san, apologise." I had been expecting that.

"There was no need to be so rough to me!" Tokio, learn to keep your mouth shut!

"APOLOGISE!" Kondou exploded.

"I'm sorry, Saitou-san."

"Second point: Why were you yelling at each other and disturbing the men in the eating room? Tokio-san?"

"He was very rough, dragging me through the streets, yelling at me, I wanted him to be more gentle."

Kondou managed with a self-control I admired deep down inside, to stay quite calm.  
"By yelling back, being sarcastic and throwing a tray at him?"

Huh, the situation was very bad. For a second I considered to mention that I was from Osaka and had the spirit of my parents, but he looked so threatening, no need to tell me what to do.

Bowing, saying "I apologise, Saitou-san. I apologise, Kondou-sensei. I apologise for hitting you two and your wife with the food, I'm sorry." Still bowing, eyes locked to the ground.

"Saitou-kun, apologise!" Hey, I wasn't expecting this, Hajime obviously not, too.

"Why?"

Kondou sighed "Don't question me, Saitou-kun! For being rough to her? I don't know exactly, apologise, I want to get rid of this."

Saitou bowing in front of me "I'm sorry, Tokio-san." AAAA! It felt better with every time.

Kondou looked desperately at the two men by his side, raising an eyebrow, questioning.

"We want them to have their own eating room, we want to finish our meals quietly and in peace."

Kondou sighing deep "I'll see what is possible. You can leave, you two."


	10. Chapter 10 Crows

Standard disclaimers:  
I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do.

ON WITH THE STORY:

There's a devil crawling along your floor  
(How much longer)  
With a trembling heart,  
He's coming through your door  
With his straining sex in his jumping paw

There's a devil crawling along your floor  
And he's old and he's stupid and  
He's hungry and he's sore  
And he's blind and he's lame  
And he's dirty and he's poor  
There's a devil crawling along your floor

Lover-man! Here I stand forever, Amen  
Cause I am what I am what I am what I am  
Forgive me, baby, my hands are tied  
And I got no choice, no, I got no choice at all

words by Nick Cave

CHAPTER 10: CROWS

WARNING: OOCness ahead

We left Kondou's audience room and I suddenly felt sick. My intestines were squirming, I had to choke, nearly breaking down, close to loose consciousness. How on earth could one human feel so sick?

I didn't want to show it openly -I had my pride-, but I had to grab Hajime's kimono before breaking down. When I recovered for a short time I ran as fast as I could to the toilet, where I threw up. The world was turning, my knees were shaking, and I had an precise idea what was wrong.

I opened the door and stood directly in front of Hajime, who was leaning with his back against a wooden pillar, smoking.

"Go to the doctor, Tokio! You look terrible!" That idiot drove me insane!

Ouch! The world was turning again, my intestines squirmed, I was defeated by pain and obeyed.  
"I'll go and see the doctor." Maybe he had a recipe to ease the sickness.

All of a sudden Hajime grabbed the collar of my kimono, while I passed him and I came to an abrupt halt.  
"Wrong term, Tokio. WE go to the doctor. There is no way I let you walk alone through Kyoto. Who knows whom you'll meet this time."

/

The horrified doctor didn't need much time for his short questions and brief examination. He obviously sped up, with me as a patient and Hajime leaning against the wall behind him, smoking only one cigarette. A quick examination indeed, he wanted to get rid of us.

The doctor breathed deeply before 'announcing' the result.  
"You are pregnant, nothing serious. Would you please leave, I have some other patients waiting."

'WHAT? Pregnant? Nothing serious? I wish you the feeling of sickness I have.'  
I had already assumed it, but hearing it from the doctor? Confirming it? I cast a glance at Hajime. His lips twisted into a self-content, self-satisfied smile. Visibly he appreciated the thought of having me carrying his child. I walked out in trance, closely behind Hajime.

I was pregnant? OH MY GOD, I was too young, too unstable, too irresponsible.

High time to grow up, control my temper and stop behaving childish. AND to solve the Yoshinori-problem. I definitely didn't want my children to be as unstable as I was. It was the day I decided to give up sword-fighting and behave properly as an adult woman. But first I would have to solve Yoshinori- problem, he was a threat.

We were on our way back, I was still walking directly behind Hajime, he was smoking the next cigarette, I smelled and saw the smoke.

"My Gods, I'm having a baby." I still chewed on it, but realisation was dawning.

"That's the basic idea of having sex, Tokio."

I admitted it, he was right. But I had never wasted a second, intense thought on it.

We turned around the next corner, and a crowd gathered.

A crowd in the streets, what was that? Something must have happened there, but what?

I wasn't interested in the incident, I hated crowds. All these nosy people interested in other one's harm! As if this would ease their own grief. Nosiness, malicious glee. This attracted the lowest instincts in mankind.

Hajime got ready to investigate the reason for the crowd. "Stay close to me."

***Flashback***

Shim-machi, Osaka

"Stay close to me, Tokio-chan."

People were gathering, I was so small! I wasn't able to see anything!

My father tightened his grip around my wrist, the place crowded.

People screaming, running around, confused.

I was pushed from one side to another, my gaze was locked on my father.

He stared at the free place in front of him, as steady as a rock, people floating around us. What was going on? What did my father saw? What was so terrible that he hold his ground so unmoved?

Ouch! Someone fell over me, my wrist snatched of his grip, I was dragged away by the mass.

"Tokio-chan!"

"Father!" I panicked, screamed. Where was I? I was too small to see anything.

Crying, yelling for my father, I managed to escape the crowd, there was a free space, I headed towards it.

A body was lying in the middle of the free space, blood spread around it. It was a young man, he was still alive. I recognised him.

"Brother!" This couldn't be! My brother! I rushed forward, I wanted to take him into my arms. This was one of his silly shows for me, for sure!

He would jump up soon, smiling wide "Got you, kitten!"

"Brother!" I reached him, he turned his face,...

Someone grabbed me around my arms and waist and laid a hand across my mouth.

***End Flashback***

I was in Kyoto!

Instinctive, distracted I had stepped back from the crowd into the shadows between the houses, a BAD mistake.

No one looked in my direction, everyone was concentrated on the incident on the street. A trap! Yoshinori! I had walked right into his trap! He knew what had happened in Shim-machi.

Struggling against him would be a waste of time, so I relaxed my muscles.

"Everything all right, Tokio?" I nodded, despite I knew nothing was all right. I knew I had no chance to succeed fighting him, but he released me.

"I am sorry for the rough introduction, but I had to be sure, that your husband is not around."

"What have you put on stage there?"

"Only a small accident."

How far would he go? How obsessed was he? Was he really abusing his powers? I had no evidence, nobody would believe the daughter of a dishonoured Samurai against such a powerful man. Be careful, Tokio!

"You are early, Yoshinori-san."  
His eyes narrowed at the addressing, but I didn't want to get too personal.

"Have you finished translating the paper?"

"I still have to translate some parts." I was near a panic now. I needed more time, I had to tell Hajime about this. Why hadn't I considered this earlier?

"Where is it?"

"At home."

"Can I come in five days to catch it? It is urgent." Five days? He would come earlier.

"Yes." He nodded, and I turned to hurry back to Hajime, he gave me a feeling of security I needed right now. But Masahiro grabbed my wrist to restrain me, he wouldn't let me get away that easily.

"You had to visit the doctor?" I needed my whole self-control to hide my emotions. Maybe this was the reason, why he wanted to speak with me. If he would reveal that I was pregnant, his lip would flip. 'Gain time, Tokio! He will get his information from the doctor sooner or later, but you need more time.'

"Yes, it is nothing serious." Yoshinori narrowed his eyes, trying to find out the truth, was I strong enough? Did I hide it enough? He caressed my cheek, observing every line of my face closely.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No, I don't feel well, that's all, nothing serious." He wasn't believing me, that was sure, but he realised I wouldn't tell him.

"You are better telling the truth, Tokio. He is no match for me. I can help you out. I just want you to know. Trust me." NO WAY!

"See you in one week, Yoshimori-san." If he really visited the doctor, there wouldn't be more than two days left. Would Hajime be able to defeat him? I had my doubts, but I had to tell him about this. Yoshinori would try to kill him for sure! He had to be prepared! I was a fool to assume I could get rid of the cunning Ninja by being married.

Much to my dismay he leaned forward, kissing me slightly, I felt his lips touching mine, but he wasn't satisfied, he wanted more and eagerly he deepened the kiss. Trying to hide my discomfort -I didn't want to arouse his suspicion- I remained rooted to the place. I have never been so relieved before when a kiss ended and when I watched him retreating into the shadows. Imperceivable he was now.

I felt myself going back to the street with shaking knees, and my sight was clouded. NO! I pulled myself together, where was Hajime?

I pushed my fears aside and began to burrow my way through the crowd.

STOP! What was that? A familiar ki?  
'Use the crowds or the shadows for killing', I suddenly remembered. My field of vision veiled. The crowd around me vanished, the voices a soft murmuring. Time seemed to slow down, I turned.

Battousai! Standing directly in front of me. We were staring at each other. What was he doing here? This incident was obviously Yoshinori's doing.

I reached out my right hand to touch his left cheek, he reached out his right hand to touch my left shoulder. My hand was only a breeze away from his cheek, I could almost feel the warmth of his body... but there was no warmth in him.

"Craa!" What was that?

"Craa" "Craa" I was distracted once more, blinked, Battousai had vanished.

"Craa" "Craa" I looked up high in the sky, a crow was flying over my head. A crow? There a second crow? Crows in the sky in the late morning, in the summer? They should rest somewhere at this time. Was I going insane? Where was Hajime?

I continued to burrow my way through the crowd, alarmed, but Battousai had disappeared.

There was Hajime, he seemed to be annoyed with me, I could feel it. Again I hadn't done what he had told me, but he acknowledged my presence with a nod.

He was kneeling in front of a dead man and woman with her child, examining them. The woman looked awful, the baby terrible, cut in small pieces. The small hands, the small feet, the little head scattered around, the trunk cut up, intestines ripped out. The head had been opened, the brain ripped out.

The woman had a long gash across her face, the hair was cut off, lying in a pool of blood underneath her, her abdomen was cut open, but the gash through her throat obviously finished her. The throat was barely recognisable.

The man must have tried to protect his little family, without success. There was still a dagger through his heart, Yoshinori would never leave one of his kunai or shuriken behind. Too traitorous.

I choked, it was the first time I was shocked when seeing a murder. 'Small accident'? A bit ironic, wasn't it? Yoshinori had gone too far. Murdering my parents had been evilly enough.

Would we be able to defeat him? I laid a hand on Hajime's shoulder. "Hajime-san?" He turned, looked up to me, I needed my whole self-control not to show my emotions here on the street, but he must have registered my pale face, my uneasiness and seriousness.

"I have to tell you something, it is important."

"I have to clear this first."

"No, you haven't. It is part of what I have to tell you." I would have to grow up faster than assumed.

/

Ja ne,

Mara


	11. Chapter 11 'Talking' with Saitou

Standard disclaimers:  
I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do.

ON WITH THE STORY:

Despair and deception, love's ugly little twins  
Came a-knocking on my door, I let them in  
Darling, you're the punishment for all my former sins

I let love in

The door it opened just a crack, but love was shrewd and bold  
My life flashed before my eyes, it was a horror to behold  
A life-sentence sweeping confetti from the floor of a concrete hole

I let love in

Well I've been bound and gagged and I've been terrorised  
And I've been castrated and I've been lobotomized  
But never has my tormenter come in such a cunning disguise

I let love in

words by Nick Cave ('I let love in')

CHAPTER 11: 'TALKING' WITH SAITOU

Still grumbling because of my refusal to discuss the matter on the street, Hajime had 'accompanied' me home. Luckily some other samurai had appeared whom he could trust with the corpses and the investigation of the near people.

But... calling it 'accompanying' might be too much, for him walking fast in front of me. I had problems to keep close to him and not fall back, dressed in a kimono and having the shorter legs.

The advantage was that we reached the headquarters only minutes later and after some meetings with Kondou and Hijikata we were alone in our room, I wanted to inform Hajime as soon as possible. He would need it.

I knelt down opposite of Hajime, breathing deeply, and concentrated on the following talk. How to start? This would be tough and hard to explain.

I had prepared some tea and we had settled down, in a comfortable position, facing each other, the small tray with the tea on it between us. He lightened a cigarette, it wouldn't be his last one.

"What do you have to tell me so urgently, Tokio?" His tone was mocking and his lips curved in an ironic manner. Obviously he doubted that it would be important, that this was one of my female over-dramatic reactions. He was so wrong and he would know it soon enough.

I searched for a good beginning, but there was none. How much did he already know? It would be best to start with the 'small accident'. I sipped a last time on my tea, set it back on the table.  
"Hajime, I don't know where to start. But this little show was put on stage by Yoshinori Masahiro. You know him, I spoke with him on my way back from the bathroom after the meeting with Matsudaira."

I watched him carefully, furtively through my half-closed eyes. Would he admit it? He took a deep drag from his cigarette, flicked away some ash, exhaled the smoke, I wasn't able to spot a reaction. I decided to take it as an admission that he eavesdropped on the conversation between Yoshinori and me. "My father worked for him in Osaka. In Shim-machi."

A sudden doubt let me hesitate. I couldn't tell him everything! There were secretes and given promises. People had trusted me with their secrets, and I wasn't in the position to decide on my own to share them. Not even when my life was in danger and not even when it even concerned my husband and my relationship with him. This was about honour, trust and pride.

I shot another furtive glance at Hajime, there was still not one reaction. He waited for me to continue. "He just put it on stage to speak with me, without you around. He called this a 'small accident', Hajime!"

Now he meant to interfere.  
"That sounds unbelievable, Tokio. No one will put something like this on stage just to talk with someone."

So he actually listened, but still his tone was mocking and his lips were curved ironical. He didn't believe it this easily. What did I imagine? That he would buy the story without any background?

I sighed deeply inside, showed no emotion outside. No matter what, I had to tell him who Yoshinori really was. Hajime was more precious to me than Yoshinori, and I had already lost reputation. Wasn't Hajime's life a prize too high for my honour? Didn't I value my husband more than a word like honour? Did I need to keep a promise I gave someone who murdered my parents and who now tried to kill my husband?

Only a few people knew Yoshinori's secret and telling it to outsiders was the death-sentence. But what mattered it now? He would try to kill Hajime anyway.

A promise is a promise. I couldn't break a promise I had given. Bushido.

Honour, betrayal, justice. Yoshinori betrayed the ninjas, their ideal, belief.

I would betray my own way by telling Hajime who Yoshinori really was.

A promise is a promise.

An obligation is an obligation.

I simply couldn't tell him. I had to try to make it clear to Hajime without the details. I blurted out what I could think of.  
"He is obsessed and nuts. Yoshinori once asked me if I want to marry him, but I refused, saying I had already been promised to another man by my parents. He didn't let go and asked me again. This time I refused clearly, giving him no room for any hope that I would ever change my mind as the things were. One week after my clear refusal my parents were killed. I told you already, he was the one who came back in time to help me out. I think he just could make it just in time, because he knew what was happening and he had hired the murderer. I guess his assassins did more than he ordered them, he killed them before I could ask them anything. Revenge for my parents he called it."

I paused a bit, how to explain the motifs, the personality of someone who was obsessed? Of a person guided and motivated by an over-emotional feeling? To someone like Hajime? Could Hajime even IMAGINE to have such strong emotions?  
"He gave me some weeks, but then he told me that with the death of my parents this bond between my father and his friend would be invalid, I would be free to marry him. And that I would need someone to take care of me, I couldn't manage living alone as a woman. He wanted to be the one caring for me. But I refused again, I distrusted him already. Did he give the order murder my parents? I had a suspicious feeling, but I had no evidence. Would he go this far?"

I sipped on my tea again. Patiently Hajime waited for me to continue.  
"Yes, I'm sure now, seeing the 'small accident'. I'm pretty sure, that he will try to get me back at all costs. He didn't expect me to get married so fast while he wasn't in Osaka, and he is not a person being stopped by a husband who is in his way. YOU are in his way, I realised it by now."

"You said a shuriken hit you."  
He watched me with half-closed eyes closely. I could have imagined, he had already figured it out. He remembered every little detail I had told him and was now drawing conclusions.

I closed my eyes and concentrated.

A promise is a promise.

I couldn't oppose my way.

Life or death.

I would have to tell Hajime, I would have to break my promise. Otherwise, was it really breaking a promise when Hajime knew already what I would tell him? I didn't think so.

"Hajime?"

He looked up, indicating me with a slight wink of his hand with the cigarette between his fingers to continue, some ash fell to the floor. Great. The ash distracted me for a second, I would be the one who would have to clean it away. I needed a solution for this cigarette-ash soon, otherwise I would never be able to have a clean room. Distracted I shook my head, this wasn't the big problem now.  
"I have given a promise not to tell. I'll break my promise now, that's not easy for me, but I think we have no other chance. Promise me, you will tell no one."

"Go on."

"He is the leader of the ninja-group of Osaka-jo. I'm breaking my promise, because I think he betrayed the ideals of a ninja and used his group for his own purpose. Moreover, I think he used his group to murder my parents. These shurikens are really traitorous, I recognised them at instant. He tried to persuade me that they acted without his permission, but I don't believe him."

Hajime raised an eyebrow, I was not able to figure out how much he already knew and what he was thinking. Would he stand beside me and help me?  
"That's a serious accusation."

Stubborn I stared at him? Hadn't I explained it? There was no room for a wrong conclusion, everything was obvious.  
"You've seen the scar in my shoulder from the shuriken. It was one of his group. I had no chance to ask one of them, he killed them before I was able to ask one question, as I already said. But I knew them. They were killed by him because they followed his orders."

"You mean he killed his own followers for his own purpose?"

"Yes." It was really a serious accusation.

"That's unbelievable."

"You saw what he put on stage this morning. I told you, he is obsessed, nuts."

"Why did he organise this little show?"

"He used my dislike of crowds to trap me. He gave me a French paper for translation after the meeting with the Matsudaira-sama, he wanted to know if I finished it. You have seen it, it is a trading contract between a French and a Japanese merchant in Nagasaki. But I think the real reason was our doctor's visit. He wanted to know why we have been there, if he finds out, his lid will flip, for sure. The translation is not everything he wants. He wants me."

Not with one word he commented my persuasion that this man would kill just to possess me, but I meant to see his eye-brow twitching slightly every-time I indicated it or mentioned it clearly. Did he care for me?

"I told you to stay close to me." How much did he really knew?

"I wasn't able to. My father said the same to me back in Shim-machi when my brother was killed, Yoshinori knows about that. I was completely distracted by you saying that. A mistake, I admit."

"What happened in Shim-machi?"

Time was running away, we needed to take precautions. I decided to explain it as brief as I was able to, hoping not to miss an important point.  
"My brother tried to protect the daughter of a brothel-owner. She was threatened by some men who tried to rape her. He loved her dearly, I can't remember her, I was too small, only five years old. He just got his katana from our father, it was only two months ago! He was just fifteen!"

I closed my eyes, remembering the sight.  
"Anyhow, he had to leave his swords at home to enter the district, this bastards had smuggled some daggers inside. He was only fifteen, but he was murdered, trying to protect her. All I remember is him lying in a pool of blood in the centre of the street, I was too small to really understand and realise what had happened. I was terrorised by this crowd, by all the people pushing me aside and ripping me away from my father. Then I found my brother, half-dead. Since then I have a aversion against crowds. Yoshinori knows about this. He knows everything about me. He watched me growing up, he was the big brother for me after Michinori was killed."

I had to pause, remembering me growing up with him. I had never thought he would go this far. This was one of the greatest betrayals in my life. My parents murdered by someone who was a big brother for me and I was the reason. Wonderful. Why had I been born? I had caused misery to everyone close to me.

"Go on."  
He indicated with a slight wink of his hand to go on, I decided to tell him more of my background. He might already knew.

"My parents decided long before I was born, that they would only have two children, a son and a daughter. They didn't want to have a second son who would be a ronin for sure. After my brother was killed, my father decided to raise me in his way instead. Bushido. He started with the serious training when I was seven years old. He wanted that I could defend myself, he knew, I would always have problems because of my origins. My parents decided to teach me reading and writing despite the fact that it is not common. You know that, Hajime. It is not necessary for a wife to be educated. To learn fighting, reading, writing or even a foreign language including its writing. But I'm different, Hajime. I have the feeling that you respect me for what I am and I thank you for that."

I needed some tea, this was tougher than assumed.  
"Anyhow, Yoshinori watched me growing up. When I was about fifteen he started to tell me, that he loves me. I was buttered up, I mean, you might have seen him," Hajime frowned slightly "and I gave in. But he pressed, and I began to feel uncomfortable having him around, he wanted to be too close for my taste. He asked me to marry him. Short version of what I told you before: I refused, my parents got killed."

What happened then? What else was of importance?  
"I'm afraid he was about to set a trap to get my consent to marry him when this marriage meeting came up. He was in Nagasaki at that time, the happenings occurred too quickly for him to be back in Osaka before I left. The marriage was quite quickly arranged. I have the feeling that Kondou-sensei is behind this, he knew my father."

Hajime never answered the hidden question and inquired. "What about the trap you mentioned concerning Nagasaki?"

"He contacted me after the meeting with the Daimyo to ask me to translate a trading contract between a French and a Japanese merchant. I'm afraid he arranged it and the French merchant has to do something with my mother's family. I think he wanted to use it to force me to marry him. He only left for Nagasaki to contact someone in Dejima. When he heard about the marriage I had already left for Kyoto and was married. He had no chance to be back in time."

"How good is he?" I knew he meant Yoshinori's education.

"Perfect."

"His fighting style?"

"He is the one that trained me in shuriken-jutsu and using the kunais, he is one of the best ninjas I ever met. He knows every little move of my father's school and I'm pretty sure he knows everything about yours by now. But I hope he knows nothing about my training with Soushi, I changed my style a bit. I don't know if it is enough to defend against him, but I bought some shuriken and kunai at the swords-smith yesterday. The swords-smith you followed me to on the day of the marriage meeting." Would he admit it? I didn't spot him, it was pure speculation. He was pretty good in what he was doing. "Using them might be a possibility to wound him, to distract him. I have the wakizashis and a dagger,.."

"Tokio, you stay out of this."

"What?"

"You said, he will try to kill ME. So stay out, I don't want you to get hurt."

"I doubt you will be able to defeat him alone, you know nothing about him, his technique."

"You can tell and show me."

"I doubt that we have enough time left."

"He is perfect?"

"Yes, I think I am his only weak point. He is obsessed, believe me. He is a perfect psychologist. If you have a weak point, he will find it, for sure. He will use it, definitely. Without mercy. He will try to provoke you, and he will try to hurt, distract you with words before he kills you. Be on guard! Please, Hajime! I don't want you to get killed by him. Please, believe me, he means nothing to me!"

"I heard that, Tokio." My Gods, he admitted it?

I pushed the table aside and approached him, reached out my hand, touched his cheek, forced him to look in my eyes. "Hajime, from the moment on I meet you in the street, something deep down inside attracted me to you, I don't want to lose you."

He reached up to take my hand. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

I was a bit irritated. "You never asked, Hajime."

He took me in his arms, pulled me close.

"I am afraid, please, help me."

"I'll protect you, Tokio. You are not alone."

He placed a kiss on my forehead, holding me tight, comforting me. I had never felt so secure in my whole life and closed my eyes, relieved. In this position we spent the next hours, ignoring the threat drawing closer with every minute.

/

I knew, Yoshinori is a bit overdrawn. Please note, that he is obsessed, his brain won't function normal. The traps and incidents he puts on stage are in this fic to indicate that.

Ja ne,

Mara


	12. Chapter 12 Battlefields 1

Standard disclaimers:  
I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do.

I'm down to the grounds, the very dregs  
Ah, here she comes, blocking the sun  
Blood running down the inside her legs  
The moon in the sky is battered and mangled  
And the bells from the chapel go jingle-jangle

Do you love me? Do you love me? Do you love me?  
Do you love me like I love you?

words by Nick Cave ('Do you love me?)

CHAPTER 12: BATTLEFIELDS 1

We didn't have one day, we had only a few hours left. And all Hajime was doing, was to comfort me and trying to calm me. Never before and never again in my life I had been so scared and had cried so much. Hajime must have thought that I was a little whining and wailing crybaby in a time we needed to make urgent preparations.

Above all Kondou was not in Kyoto, we weren't able to speak with him and ask him for help. Not that Hajime had seriously considered this possibility.

In the evening Hajime was scheduled with patrolling along with some others. The house would be empty, except for a few wives, and we decided it would be the best for me going with him. Some females wouldn't stop Yoshinori from entering the house. Hajime's first duty was to serve his Daimyo, caring for security in Kyoto, and not to protect his wife from being kidnapped by an obsessed ninja.

I dressed as a Shinsengumi to be less suspicious and took my wakizashi, shuriken, kunai and dagger with me. With all the weapons I could equip an army, but I still didn't feel secure. Only as Hajime stepped beside me, my irrational feeling of fear vanished instantly.

It was dusk, only a few people were on the street, some shops were still opened.

An old woman was selling fish.  
"He, you two! Over there! Want some fresh fish?"

ALARM! An old woman was addressing us? Two Miburo on the streets? Ok, I admit, I didn't count. But I instinctively moved closer to Hajime.

Nothing happened, we passed her.

In the next street there stood two men, discussing. The discussion got more emotional, the voices got louder, one was giving the other a smack on his shoulder, the other gave it back, the situation escalated.

A trap? I stayed close to Hajime as he approached the two men, his sheer appearance made them shut up and leave the place in complete harmony.

Nothing happened.

One hour passed without an incident, the shops were closed by now, less people were left on the street and some cats started to roam around.

"WUMM."  
We both turned around alarmed, what was that? Frantically we scanned the surroundings, but noticed nothing suspicious, only a cat crossing the street. It cast an annoyed glance at us and vanished between two houses.

Another hour passed without happening anything, the streets were empty, only a few passerbys here and there. They hurried home, not casting a glance right and left, obviously afraid of the dark and threatening atmosphere.

Hours later we were both tired, you can't stay alarmed and be on guard twenty-four hours a day. It was then, I didn't pay attention when passing a dark entrance, and Hajime was a few steps ahead.

It was too late when a hand clamped over my mouth and an arm encircled my waist and arms. His grip was tight, I wasn't able to move as much as I fought against him, but my resistance caused some noise and Hajime turned, realising something was wrong.

They were staring at each other, face to face to each other. The one man who would stop at nothing to be my husband and the other man who was indifferent at most times and actually was my husband. The atmosphere was threatening, hostile. Fighting spirits rose and blood-thirstiness filled the air. I would have to do something, before the situation escalated, perhaps there was a slight chance to calm Yoshinori. Hajime needed more time.

If Hajime trusted me, I could pretend to go with Yoshinori, he would focus on Hajime, trying to kill him. I could use this and attack him from behind.

"Leave her!"  
Hajime was standing in front of us, facing us. He wasn't able to judge Yoshinori, to predict his actions, movements, he didn't know him. There was not a chance for him to attack with me in Yoshinori's arms.

Yoshinori was blind concerning me, he wouldn't realise I was lying and betraying him, I was sure. He lowered the hand on my mouth.

Would Hajime recognise that I only pretended to stay with Yoshinori? Would he trust me?

"Hajime, please calm down. He is an old friend of mine. Yoshinori Masahiro-san. Saitou Hajime-san, leader of shinsengumi squad three and my husband." I tried to introduce them, but they continued to stare at each other, none of them made an effort to bow. My Gods, I knew this wouldn't work! They both wanted to draw blood.

"Tokio-san, are you trying to tell me that this is your husband? I thought you had a better taste."  
It was a low blow trying to provoke Hajime, but this wouldn't work with him.

"Yoshinori is a famous name."  
Hajime made a threatening move, which wouldn't work with Yoshinori, too obvious. He was a skilled Ninja after all.

"Saitou-kun stay quiet. You don't belong into the same class as Tokio-san and I."  
This was rude and hitting the nail on the head, and not one muscle in Hajime's face twitched. But I started to feel offended, Hajime made up for it with his spirit by far.

"Stop talking, Yoshinori and leave her."  
Hajime remained concentrated and cool. He didn't mind to be the son of a low class samurai and a farmers daughter, and I felt relieved. Hajime didn't seem to have a weak spot Yoshinori was able to find.

"By the way, what about the book I gave you, Tokio? The book about ken-jutsu?"

He knew about this? This book had been my parent's, but he must have revealed that we had a brawl about it and that Hajime knew that it was important for me. He would think it is important, because Yoshinori gave it to me. Would Hajime trust me? "I still have it, Masahiro. Thank you for the wonderful present."

Hajime remained calm, he realised I wasn't serious. Would Yoshinori be able to find a weak point in this short time?

Yoshinori registered that it didn't work, too, and shot a intense glance at me.  
"You really like this man? You allowed him to touch you? What an honour, Saitou-kun! She's quite skilled with her hands, isn't she?"

MY GODS, he tried to use THIS?

Hajime tightened his grip on the hilt, he had drawn the right conclusions. NO! Yoshinori must have seen it too. Please, this couldn't be true! I could almost see Yoshinori's wolfish grin behind my back and felt his muscles tightening once he had found what he had been looking for.

"Stay there or I'll break some of her bones!"  
He would never do that, but Hajime couldn't know that. I wasn't able to say something yet, I didn't want to show him my intention too early.

"It is time for you, Saitou, to hand me back what is mine."  
I almost felt Yoshinori's barefaced grin, which never failed to enrage me, even Hajime needed effort to remain calm as I noticed.

"Leave her!"

Yoshinori ignored him completely, playing the indifferent, cool ninja.  
"I can't believe, what you did, Tokio. You are even carrying his child."

He tightened his grip around me, pressing me against him, there was no possibility to move my arms. Every muscle in my body was aching, there had to be a chance to get out of his grip. I tried to fight against him as I suddenly noticed Hajime's eyes widen in shock while he witnessed Yoshinori's next moves. What was going on? What was Yoshinori planning? I couldn't see his moves, I could only feel him. And I heard his next words.  
"I'm sorry, Tokio, I have to hurt you. But, you know, I only want the best for you."

I felt Yoshinori raising his hand -what was going on?- and with one fluid movement he punched his fist into the region of my belly using one of his ninja techniques. *OUCH*

Hajime wasn't able to help me, though he wanted as I noticed by his impatient fumbling with the hilt of his sword. But I hanging limply in Yoshinori's arms, andhe still wasn't able to predict his actions or movements. The risk of hurting me was too high.

MY GODS, that hurt! I felt a warm liquid running down my legs, blood! 'This can't be true! Don't show Hajime, he has to concentrate on Yoshinori. I was afraid that Yoshinori really had killed our child. The flow of blood didn't stop, I could smell it already.

Yoshinori's impertinent grin deepened as he turned to Hajime.  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Tokio. You had been carrying his child. But I can't allow my woman to carry the child of another man. It must been horrible enough for you that you had to allow him to touch you and to be your first man. But there are limits, Tokio, and a child is something I can't tolerate. But I told you, I'd help you out, my darling. Always."

He caressed my check, all the while watching Hajime furtively. I had to do something, I had to get in a position to be able to use my weapons! Hajime was pissed off, now he was slowly losing control. He wanted to kill Yoshinori, he wanted to fight him immediately, but he had to wait until I was out of reach.

All I was able to, was to whisper, the pain was taking control over my body.  
"Thank you, Masahiro."

"I promised you, I would help you out."

He took the wakizashi out of my hakama before he dropped me carelessly to the ground, and concentrated on Hajime. A true ninja, using the weapons around him. I was struggling with the pain in my belly, trying to get on my feet, trying to hide the blood.

"Now I'm rid of this brad, all I have to do is finish this weakling there. Just a minute, my love. Then we can start living together." He was underestimating Hajime, wasn't he? He was pissing him off more with every second, that was sure.

Yoshinori challenged Hajime with Soushi's and mine wakizashi, and he was carrying some shuriken, some kunai with him for sure. How many?

Hajime drew his katana. Both focused at each other, both aware of my presence. Would they both trust me, both turn their backs to me?

They were staring at each other, minutes passed silently. I was sure Hajime would attack first, he was more offensive, furthermore he was annoyed about what Yoshinori had done. But he had problems judging Yoshinori.

There he came, announcing the first attack, a test to see how fast Yoshinori was. Hajime was quick, trying to land a blow, but Yoshinori put it away with one sword and used the other one trying to land a hit on Hajime's back as he passed him. Hajime was fast enough to evade him while turning around.

Yoshinori re-sheathed one wakizashi, Soushi's, preparing for Hajime's second attack. What was he doing?

Hajime started his second attack, he was wise enough not to use his special attack, it would be to early. Again, Yoshinori blocked his attack and I knew what he was up to, revealing kunai behind his back, only visible for me and throwing them at Hajime as he passed him.

One kunai hit the aim, Hajime's left side, it was unguarded for a short was not deadly, but it hurt and distracted. Yoshinori attacked instantly, using this as his advantage, before Hajime was able to pull the kunai out of his side. He jumped up, pretended to slam the sword down while trying to kick him into the face. It was the move Hajime had already seen me using, he evaded it, pulling out  
the kunai.

The left side of the kimono was bloodied now, seeing his own blood seemed to make him even more annoyed, his eyes narrowing, but he re-gained control and attacked again.

This time Yoshinori jumped high in the air, throwing shuriken which he had been hiding behind his back, none hit, his lips twisted in a frustrated smile. He was really looking freaking with this grin, standing on a roof of a nearby house, watching us from above.

What was he thinking off? He was preparing the next shuriken while concentrating on Hajime, throwing them,... they were flying... IN MY DIRECTION?

HE WAS AIMING AT ME? I dodged them in the last moment, one scratched my right temple.

Hajime was surprised and distracted, Yoshinori used it, jumping down while preparing the next attack.

He threw three kunai at Hajime, who was able to evade two of them, the third dug into his shoulder, he pulled it out at instant and threw it away. Good luck it was the right shoulder, not the left one.

Yoshinori showed no emotion, but I knew he enjoyed his success, he thought victory was near. Maybe he wouldn't register what I was doing now, concentrated on his little success and his slight chance of winning this fight.

I was in his back, taking out two shuriken, giving them the right speed and rotation on my fingers, releasing them,... but he stepped aside without even turning in my direction.

Damn it, he still sensed what I was doing, only one shuriken scratched him. And now he knew my true intention and would fight us both recklessly. He wasn't turning, he was still focused on Hajime. "Tokio, you have to improve your skills, you missed him."

WHAT? What did he think was I doing? Did he think I would be THIS bad? What an idiot! How stupid could one human being be? I felt anger rising, blurting out my feeling.  
"I HATE YOU, MASAHIRO!"

THAT distracted him for a second, Hajime used the second to jump forward and slash his katana through Yoshinori's abdomen. I smelled the content of guts, saw blood dropping to the ground.

Yoshinori might have realised his mistake and my 'betrayal' by now. Hajime raised his katana for a final blow. Didn't Yoshinori kill my parents? As if in trance I felt myself jumping up and reaching out for them both. "Please, stop it , Hajime!"

Surprisingly he stopped the sword in mid-air, his self-control was abmirable and Yoshinori broke down on his knees in the street, dropping my wakizashi.

I stood my ground before Yoshinori.  
"Please let me do that."

I didn't wait for Hajime's reply, and turned to Yoshinori.

I took two kunai, pushed him on his back, and sat down on his stomach. With  
the kunai I pinned his wrists to the ground, he was too shocked to move, and he  
was weakened by the gash in his abdomen which would finish him.

Hatefully I spit into his face.  
"Do you remember what you did to my mother?"

Irritated he stared at me, trying to find out what was wrong with me.  
"I did it for you, my love. Why don't you understand?"

He was the most stubborn man I had ever met.  
"FOR ME? You hurt me, Masahiro! You betrayed me! Can't you SEE this?"

I took out a third kunai, stabbing it a few centimetres in his right eye, pulled it out, he screamed, some blood came out of the wound were his eye had been. A pool of blood now.

He tried to turn and throw me away, but I was sitting on the gash in his abdomen, his hands were pinned to the ground, he was already too weak.

"This is for WATCHING my parents die."  
Stabbing the kunai in his second eye, leaving a second bloody pool in his face behind. He twitched from pain.

"Why don't you love me, Tokio?"  
Why was this idiot still not realising the truth?

"You can't force someone to love you, Masahiro. You will never understand."

He tried to say something.

"This is for my parents SUFFERING."  
I lead the kunai across his face, from his right cheek, though his nose over the left bloody pool, where his eye had been. He tried to turn his face away, too late.

"Why, Tokio? Why don't you love me?" He was still able to speak?

"This is for BETRAYING the ninja, my parents and me."  
I opened his mouth by using the joint of his jaw and cut his tongue. His mouth filled with blood quickly, he chocked on his own blood which was running down his throat. He wasn't able to breath, the blood started to reach his lungs.

"And this is for HURTING Hajime and me."  
I took the dagger and stabbed it right into his heart. It contracted a few more times, the blood around it shivered with every weakening beat before it stopped completely.

Breathing heavily, I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, looking up into Hajime's face.  
"It is enough, Tokio. He is dead."

How long had I knelt here? What had I done? I was bathed in blood, in Yoshinori's blood, and Hajime had a severe expression on his features.

I stood up, with shaking knees and leaned my head against his chest, his shoulder was still bleeding, his blood was running into my hair. He embraced me, pulled me close, comforting me. My abdomen hurt!

"I'm sorry, Tokio." What? I was the one whose fault this whole mess was!

"Why Hajime, that was not your fault."

"I wasn't able to protect you." That was his only problem?

"I'm sorry, it was MY fault. This whole incident happened because of me."

"That is not of importance now."

I looked questioningly at him, now the pain in my abdomen got stronger, I winced, my legs gave in, he picked me up.

"I'll bring you to the doctor."

The pain was getting too strong, I lost consciousness, the world went black.


	13. Battlefields 2

Standard disclaimers:  
I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do.

Dear readers,

I want to thank you very much for your encouragement and support to work through this story once again. Of the stories I wrote myself, this one is one of my favourites and I hope you enjoy reading it. Great thanks to my reviewers:

miniwoo: your enthusiasm kept me continuing from the very first chapter and many thanks for your email. I am afraid the rebuilding of my homepage will have to wait, unfortunately some stories got lost when geocities was shut down.

Fic reader 2: thank you very much, especially your comment on Okita's death was helpful.

IceRain: Thank you very much for your support. I remember you as one of my faithful readers, and yes, though it has been over ten years that I read the manga, I am still fascinated by the story, the atmosphere, the drawings, the characters,...

-  
I'll be your loverman! Till the bitter end  
While empires burn down, forever and ever  
and ever and ever Amen, I'm your loverman  
So help me, baby, So help me  
Cause I am what I am what I am what I am  
I'm your loverman

words by Nick Cave ('loverman')

CHAPTER 13: BATTLEFIELDS 2

When I regained consciousness. I was lying on a futon in our room. By the incident sunbeams shining through the opened windows, I could tell that it was late in the afternoon.

A tray with tea, soup and some rice was standing right beside me. With effort, I tried to sit up, but the pain in the lower part of my body forced me back down while I closed my eyes. I was too exhausted from the overwhelming pain I felt.

Only a little while later, I heard the shouji opening, someone approached the futon and sat down beside me. By the smell I could tell it was Hajime, there was not a chance for him to get rid of this tell-tale, traitorous cigarette smell, it lingered around him.

He laid a hand behind my back, helped me up and tried to give me some tea. Forcing myself to open my eyes and smiling consumed a lot of my energy but I was rewarded with a smirk on his face.

"You look horrible, Tokio." That was exactly the hearty greeting I had expected. He must have realised that I was too weak to answer, but I grinned in response.

"You lost a huge amount of blood, you will have to stay in bed for a while to recover." I nodded in response to indicate that I was understanding him.

"The girls will look after you for the next time." He would leave? That shocked me, he must have seen it and continued. "I'll be back soon. Just relax and regain strength."

"Thank you." I finally managed to answer and let myself fall back into the relaxing, comforting rest of sleep.

The sunbeams of a late afternoon fell into the room when I woke up a second time, this time the two girls were around. How long had I been lying here? I took the chance and addressed the two, I felt surprisingly refreshed and sat up.  
"How long have I been sleeping?"

They looked astonished at me, I had caught them by surprise being awake and moving. I didn't feel the pain in the lower part of my body, it had vanished.

Finally one girl recovered from her surprise and answered me.  
"Nearly one week."

"One week?" I nearly fell over backwards, I missed one week? Why was I feeling so strong, recovered, despite the fact that I missed food and drinking for almost one week? They must have taken good care of me.

Gently the other girl tried to push me back on my futon.  
"Yes, you lost a huge amount of blood, you needed the rest."

Remembrances from my first come round came to my mind, Hajime telling me that he had to leave. Searching I looked around, he wasn't in the room and obviously he wasn't in the house either.  
"Where is my husband?"

They looked rather sheepish and I got suspicious, something was wrong. Hajime wasn't around... but what loss had Yoshinori caused?  
"What about the baby?"

"You should rest."  
This diversionary manoeuvre was too obvious, they were hiding something, I knew I had lost it. Was this the reason why Hajime wasn't around? Had he left me? Surely not... but all this was my fault. Instinctively I caressed the lower parts of my body, where the baby had been. Was my instinct right? "WHAT ABOUT THE BABY, TELL ME!"  
I threatened them by yelling. It would work, they were too innocent and inexperienced to handle me and my violent temper.

"We are awfully sorry, you lost it."  
I felt an icy hand reaching out for my heart, but what had I hoped for? Yoshinori finished his tasks and he failed seldom. The one time he had failed, had ended deadly for him. I shook my head as if to get rid of the distracting thought of Yoshinori. I had other problems.

Ok, as I had already expected, the child was dead. This was hard, but it would not kill me. The time between realising that I was pregnant and losing the baby had been too short to be upset, in addition to that I had had Yoshinori in back-mind the whole time. It wasn't a great loss, I would have another  
child with time, which led me directly to the next question. "Where is Hajime?"

They evaded my eyes.  
"Saitou-sama will be back soon, there is no need to be worried."

Inwardly I rolled my eyes 'Saitou-sama'? What kind of new trick was this? They were both terrible bad liars, not able to mask their emotions, their evading my eyes told me enough.

Was everything all right with him? Then they simply could tell me. Was he still alive? Maybe they didn't know. Where had he gone to? They hide something, maybe they could tell me. Did he leave me? I had already considered it: surely not. There was no need to be worried. If it was necessary to mention it, then there was a reason to be concerned. I confronted them with a combination of my conclusions. "If there is no need to be worried, you can tell me where he is!"

Evading my eyes again, they stuttered. They tried to lie this time.  
"He... he... he is p... p... patrolling, he will be back soon."

I felt anger rising, who do they thought I was? An idiot? I wanted to see him, speak to him, and I wanted it NOW. "TELL ME WHERE HE IS!" My aggressiveness threatened them, intimidated them, they hadn't seen this side of me before, they stepped back, frightened enough to tell me what I wanted to know.

"There is some trouble with the Ishinshishi, they all left for an ambush to fight them."  
Trouble with the Ishinshishi? Hajime left to fight them? This was dangerous! Was he still alive? I would have to go and find out.

I kept shouting, this seemed to be the easiest and fastest way to get them speaking.  
"WHERE ARE THEY FIGHTING? BE A BIT MORE INFORMATIVE!"

They exchanged glances, they must have been ordered not to tell me, but I was threatening enough that they ignored their orders. HAH, I could be even more menancing then Kondou... but was this really a positive point?

"As far as we know, they left for the eastern part of Kyoto."

I jumped up, driven by my worries and sorrows for Hajime and started to dress while they watched me.

One girl approached me reaching out with one arm, trying to force me back onto the futon, but this wouldn't work with me. "You should stay in bed, Saitou-san, you are too weak, you lost too much blood."

I growled low in my throat, before I yelled at her. "NO!" Quickly as lightening, she retreated her hand.

Hajime was the last person alive in this world important for me. It was then, when I was worried if he still was alive that I realised how much I loved him, how dependent of him I was. Never before I had cared so much for someone beside my parents, that I feared for his life.

My fears, my worries pushed me even more, I finished dressing while the girls continued observing me with wide-opened eyes, they were scared by me.

Soon I set off for the Eastern part of Kyoto. I knew when I had reached the battlefields, the air started to smell of the shed blood and I saw the first corpses lying around. This was a massacre, the blood was literally standing in the streets, it began to flow down to the lower parts already, where it gathered in growing puddles. I had never seen so many dead corpses lying around at one place before. Was Hajime among them?

I started to examine the first Shinsengumi who looked like him. He had the right stature, but he hold his sword in the wrong hand, the right one, there was no need for a closer examination.

This one had the fitting figure and hair, I turned him on his back. With trembling hands I had to clean his face with the sleeve of my kimono, always afraid I would look into Hajime's lifeless face. His identity was not recognisable with the already viscous, sticky blood on his features, but much to my relief, it was enough left of the face once it was briefly cleaned to tell it was not Hajime.

I continued scanning the area, luckily not many of the Shinsengumi had his height and stature.

There was a head, who was he? I picked it up by its pony-tail, inspected it, it turned around its axis hanging in the air freely. The wrong eyes. Carelessly I dropped it back to the ground.

Perhaps he was only wounded, still able to answer? I started to yell. "Hajime?"

No answer, maybe this was the wrong area? I continued to walk around, my sandals were soaked with blood, every-time I lifted one feet and sat it back into the puddles of blood they smacked, the sandals stuck to the socks on my feet by the half-dried, coagulated blood. But I didn't care.

There was the next one, it could be Hajime, there was not enough left of the face to tell who he was. But if only one week past, then Hajime would still have the wounds from Yoshinoris kunai and shuriken. Shaking inwardly I opened the kimono, there was no wound on the right shoulder. Relieved I sighed.

I reached the next street, yelling again. "Hajime!"

The corpses in this street were either Ishinshishi or had the wrong stature, Hajime wasn't among them. "Hajime!"

"You are waking the dead and attracting more attention than necessary, Tokio." My heart nearly stopped beating hearing his voice, where was he?

I scanned the surroundings, there he came around the next corner, obviously not very pleased to see me here, coldly addressing me as he stood in front of me.  
"What are you doing here? You are supposed to stay in bed."

I didn't listen to him at all. I was too relieved that he was alive. I was relieved to such an extent that his behaviour didn't put me off, I just jumped at him, embraced him and looked up into his face.  
"I wanted to see you."

'Great, Tokio. Can't you think of something more appropriate?'

He wasn't returning the hug, I didn't mind, I just wanted to be close to him, feel that his body was warm, living, his heart beating and his breathing.  
"You should stay in bed."

He was keeping his off-putting attitude, but I wasn't able to tolerate loosing the baby and him. I cupped his face with my hands and kissed him ferociously right in the middle of the street. Much to his disgust as I could have imagined, he remained stiff as a statute. Soon I broke the kiss and he didn't respond at all while I clapped him playfully.  
"I couldn't. I wanted to see that you are alive."

He narrowed his eyes, he didn't like the idea of me running around and being in danger one bit. But since Yoshinori my idea of danger had changed.  
"You are not safe here."

I knew that, he didn't need to tell me, but was this his only concern? Did he really care for ME? Surely, but not in a way I preferred at this very moment. It was best to change the theme.  
"You heard what happened with the baby?"

NOW he looked down on me with concern in his eyes and laid his arms around me.  
"Yes."

"It was my fault."

"There is a real chance for us to have another child, Tokio."  
NOW he smiled down at me.

"Thank you, Hajime."  
I snuggled closer, enjoying the feeling of security he gave me.

"Let's go home."  
He started to leave, and I followed him as close as possible – and appropriate.

"Hajime?"  
He turned slightly around, waiting for me to continue.  
"You lost the fight with the Ishinshishi, haven't you?"

"You are right, we lost."  
A hard, thoughtful expression appeared on his features, we both knew that this meant serious changes, our last hope would be Tokugawa with his army. The situation in Kyoto had been serious lately and losing this battle had been the final blow. It was clear that we would have to leave the city that was lost to the Ishinshishi. This was a stone-cold fact, nothing to discuss.

Maybe Hajime needed encouragement?  
"But it is worth continuing to fight."

A confident smirk spread over his face, no, HE of all people surely didn't need encouragement.  
"You are right, Tokio. Come on, let's go home."

As we stood in front of the house we both instantly knew that something was wrong, it was suspiciously quiet. Hajime indicated me to stay behind him while he drew his sword and entered the building cautiously.

Directly behind the entrance one of the girls was lying. She had a dagger between her eyes, they were staring into distance, empty, lost. I felt an icy hand reaching out for my heart again. I wouldn't hear her silly comments and laughter anymore. Some steps away was the second girl, she was cut through the throat, her eyes were closed.

I remembered them admiring my hairpin, tasting my crepes, laughing with them, cheering me up. Innocent. They had been innocent, but they weren't any longer. The cruelty of reality had reached even them shortly before they had died. Even I had threatened them in their last hours, they hadn't been important for me, they were just two girls, who had been around and had been useful. But I had been nasty to them in their last hours and I was not able to make up for it.

On the way upstairs the first child was lying, the abdomen was cut up, the usual bad smell of opened intestines was in the air, some blue-bottles buzzed around, some had already settled down. It must have happened a while ago.

Hajime slid the door to the first room open and blocked the entrance. I jumped up to cast a short glance into the room, but he closed the door determined before I was able to have a look around and he turned to me seriously.  
"Please go downstairs and wait for me. I'm sure they won't come back."

With determination he sheathed his sword, the assassins wouldn't come back, their job was done. I have never seen him this serious before and decided it would be wise to do what he wanted, even I didn't want to see a sight that he considered not to be meant for me.

While I headed towards the steps, he addressed me again.  
"Tokio?"

I turned, looking questioningly at him, he reached out to indicate me to come back to him. As I was in his range he pulled me close, whispering in my ear.  
"It was a good idea to look for me. I'll catch our things, please wait."

I nodded against his chest, inhaling his scent deeply before I walked downstairs and waited for him. It didn't take him long, we owned only a few things besides the weapons and my books. I forced myself not to look around closely while I stood in the entrance.

Finally Hajime came down the steps, the box with our belongings settled on his back. In one hand he held clean clothes for me and I knew what he planned to do. We would go to another house in a different district where we would met with Hijikata, Kondou and the other remaining members of the Shinsengumi.

I changed into the fresh clothes, it were Soushi's, and picked up some fresh sandals at the entrance, mine were soaked with blood. The owner wouldn't mind anymore, she was dead.

Why was Hajime still around? Why didn't he drop me like a hot potato? I was nothing but trouble for him, not following his orders, yelling at him, opposing him, fighting him. Most times for fun, I admitted.

"Hajime?" He turned, looking questioningly at me. "You really didn't leave me just like you promised after Soushi's death."

"There was no reason to." He turned back, leaving me dumbfounded behind. There was no reason to leave me? My parents were dead because of me. Hajime had nothing but trouble with me during a time he had more important things to concentrate on than to take care of a wife and endure her unstable moods. The trouble he had had because of me with Yoshinori, the injuries he had gotten because of me, the times I hurt him emotionally, because of me we lost our first baby. The only interesting thing about me might be the bed-time-events, I had thought. Obviously I was wrong. He actually liked me the way I was, there was more behind it than pure attraction.

"What are you waiting for, Tokio?"  
Impatiently he waved me to follow him. He didn't need to tell me twice.

I jumped forward onto his hips, the box on his back was in my way, I didn't care.  
"Hajime, there is no chance you'll ever get rid of me."

By a look in his face I saw a painful expression and suddenly remembered the kunai that had hit him exactly on the spot I was sitting on.

"I'm afraid so, yes. Get down, I can't carry you AND the box."

Before climbing down I placed a kiss on his cheek.  
"I admit, you are right. The box is too heavy."

A huge smile appeared on his face looking down on me AFTER I was back on the ground and had left his wounded side.

"Come on, let's go."

We set off for the Northern part of Kyoto to meet the others.

/

Ja ne,

Mara


	14. Chapter 14  Reflections

Standard disclaimers:  
I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Watsuki and some big name companies do.

-  
Days before you came  
Freezing cold and empty  
Towns that change their name  
And a horn of plenty  
Days before you came  
counting breaths inside me  
Even crack - cocaine  
Couldn't start to hide me

words by PLACEBO ('Days before you came')

CHAPTER 14: REFLECTIONS

So many things happened in the last years, I don't know where to start to summarise it for you.

Two months ago Himura Kenshin married Kamiya Kaoru, a wise decision, I still don't understand why they waited so long. If I would have been in Kaoru's place, I knew what I would have done.

All right, I admit, it would work with Hajime, but with Himura? Anyhow, finally they managed to marry, I nearly fell backwards being invited to the ceremony and Hajime accepted the invitation, very unusual for him.

But what happened after we left Kyoto?

When we reached Osaka we were able to speak with Kondou, it was true, he knew my father, they had grown up together. My father had fought on his side until his marriage to my mother. My father and Kondou had had a close relationship even after the dishonouring and my father had promised me to one of Kondou's men right after my birth.

After my parents were killed Kondou had felt responsible, felt like taking care for me. He tried to get me to Kyoto without attracting attention, he didn't know who was behind the assassinations, he was afraid that I might get killed, too. But Yoshinori's influence was too strong, Kondou didn't succeed contacting me and calling me directly to Kyoto. Knowing Yoshinori from his rare contacts to my father, Kondou was suspicious already about him by that time.

The man of the Shinsengumi I had been promised to, had been killed within a fight. Kondou had to think of someone new and he took the chance when Yoshinori was in Nagasaki and arranged this meeting.

He didn't had many unmarried men handy, so he asked Hajime and Soushi, Hajime refused, Soushi didn't mind to have a look, it was no obligation to take one of the girls, more precise: to take me. But right after our first meeting, Kondou figured out that Soushi wouldn't be the right man for me. It was quite a good trick to let Hajime join this meeting, so he could ask him replacing Soushi later.

In addition to that, everything went different as planned. I had met Hajime and Soushi on the streets, I instantly felt attracted to Hajime, we went to the inn, got drunk, discussed. Hajime had later told me that from the first moment he had seen me fighting, he had known that he wanted me.

When I saw Hajime the first time, it had been attraction, we lost control over it on our second evening. We both hadn't been able to control our blood-lust and desires when drunk, a fatal mixture with attraction.

Now I know that he had recognised me during the meeting and followed me to the swords-smith. He had thought that I was an agent for the Ishinshishi, but Kondou had explained him my background as far as he was able to. At that time Kondou didn't knew the whole story behind Yoshinori. Finally he had convinced Hajime that I wasn't an agent, just an ordinary girl.

I remember all clashes we had, about Soushi, about the book, about me on the streets without his permission and many others. They had been real fun, I still enjoy challenging him, and seeing into his eyes and soul during our 'fights' I would say he loves them as much as I do.

What about Soushi? Well, he was a good, close friend for us both, we still remember him. I think suicide was the best decision he could make in his situation and I'm convinced we did the right thing helping him, I would do it again.

What about the other inmates of the Shinsengumi-house? Well, I never wasted a second thought on them. They had been there, were useful or just annoying. The only deaths I really regret are the two young girls, not that they had been important to me. But I think they had deserved a better fate than being sold to a Samurai-organisation, working like slaves for them and being killed for nothing... just because they had been there. The intriguing wives and children of some of the Shinsengumi are a different point, I wouldn't say they deserved it, this is not true, but I don't regret their deaths.

What happened in the years until today?

Not much later after we reached Osaka and spoke with Kondou, some more battles took place and Tokugawa signed his resignation, a huge disappointment for the Samurai class, a lot of changes came along with the new government.

The first one was the prohibition of slaying people for revenge or own justice, the second one was the prohibition of carrying a sword, 1876. It was hard to accept for Samurai, whose whole pride were their swords. Many committed suicide, they hadn't been able to adopt to the new era.

Hajime changed his name again, now he is called Fujita Gorou, of course I am Fujita Tokio, I refused to change my given name.

Hajime stopped drinking alcohol to gain control about his blood-lust, and it works. Of course he had problems accepting the sword-prohibition but he started working for the new government in 1877 as an undercover agent. Still believing and trusting in his own justice, trying to protect Japan from anyone who wants to betray this country and its new government. Like in the Bakumatsu he slays traitors, with a special permission he was allowed to carry and use his Japanese sword which was comforting to know. In my opinion they are the only real swords, not as breakable as those European ones, I totally agree with Hajime here.

But of course it changed him, losing his fight for the Shogunate. To be honest, not very much, he just replaced his Shinsengumi-troup by a police force. But losing something you have fought for so hard leaves a mark behind.

The sword he had from the Bakumatsu broke during his attempt to recruit Himura to fight Shishio, I had my own opinion about this. It was hard to challenge and force Himura to come with him to Kyoto, a city that held so much memories for all of us, but it was necessary. I agreed with Hajime waking up Battousai. Himura is no use at all... he simply didn't have the strength he had had during  
the Bakumatsu when there was no holding back for him, slaying, walking in blood.

I respect Himuras vow never to kill again, I respect people who live for their promises and believes with all their heart and who protect them at all costs. I can understand Himura, but his vow is nothing I could live and fight for, my believe is different.

Hajime replaced his broken sword by Soushi's and took it with him to Kyoto, he never asked me for my father's swords, his respect for me and my past runs too deep.

What about our family?  
We have three sons by now, our first was born one year after we left Kyoto, Tsutomu will be twelve soon, I had been right, it didn't take a long time to be pregnant again. Our second, Tsuyoshi, will be ten soon and our third, Tatsuo, just turned seven.

They all are adorable young boys (I have to say that, I'm their mother), educating them in the way of a Samurai might sound hard to you, but I think it is the best for them. I couldn't stand seeing my sons growing up like girls, the basic ideals of bushido are helpful for one's life. Seeing Hajime with  
our sons, -you don't believe me that he is a wonderful father, do you?- or seeing him looking at me, then I know what I live for.

With our first son born I stayed at home, it was important for Hajime to know that we are safe and secure during his absence. I understand him, being responsible for children changes one's life-style. If someone would attack us at home, I'm able to defend us, I'm still able to use weapons and I know that Hajime trusts and relies on me in this point.

And I refused to decline him dead every time he leaves, many of the Samurai wives still do this, but I simply can't.

And I am right, he always returns to me, he even survived the fights against Usui, Shishio and later this twisted guy from China, I don't know how, but he returned. Smoking his unavoidable cigarette and having his usual wicked grin on his face seeing me after a longer absence again.

Handling Hajime and three of his sons is not easy, I can tell you. These kids consume my whole time and I enjoy having found my peace. The first seventeen years of my life had been filled with so much love from my parents but on the other hand they had held so much horror. The death of my brother; the education of a samurai; the pressing from Yoshinori; the death of my parents, murdered because of me; Soushi's suicide; Yoshinori coming back; the loss of our first baby. So much had happened in this year, so much had happened in these first months with Hajime.

The most terrible event in my life was the slaying of my parents by Yoshinori, when I reached Kyoto I hadn't really digested it. It had rumoured in my subconscious but I finally was satisfied when I had my revenge. How close had I been to madness? Not reflecting these events? Perhaps it was the best, perhaps I would have gone insane reflecting them, thinking intensely about them.

But what about Battousai?

Battousai was different from me and Hajime. I don't regret one single life I have taken nor does Hajime, we both continued living in this new era with our old believe. Battousai regrets what he has done, he was more disturbed than I was. I found my peace with my revenge and the 'love' I was given.

He found his 'peace' with this Kamiya-girl, and I think she is the perfect balance for him, the perfect woman for his new life.

I can understand why he refuses to take one more life, I respect his vow, I already told you. But as long as someone lives with all his heart for his belief and doesn't betray it, I respect him, above all if someone has to struggle as hard as Himura has to. Meeting him during the Bakumatsu showed me how close I was to drown in blood and losing my sanity.

How many times did I really met him? How many times it was only an illusion? I'm pretty sure the first time it was really him. The last time in the crowd, I'm sure it was an illusion, I was too close to insanity.

Merciless, cold-blooded, deathly, disturbed. We shared too much back then. Both merciless and cold-blooded but suffering on a deep wound, close ones being killed because of us. There was one big difference: I think he hated killing men, he couldn't stand it and was close to losing his mental sanity because of it.

I enjoyed killing to a certain extent, it is like a drug, feeling the resistance of an human body, hearing the blade cutting through flesh, seeing and smelling the blood. But the last life I took was Yoshinori's, suddenly my own blood-lust decreased having my revenge. Subconscious the sight of my parents and his betrayal must have been a burden for me.

What more can I say?  
I love Hajime. Of course I never told him, but I'm convinced he knows it. Or could you imagine me hugging him, looking him deep in the eyes and saying "I love you, Hajime."

No, this would be ridicules and unnecessary, we express our emotions different, our understanding of each other is deeper.

He means everything to me, without a second thought I would give my life for him. Of course he would never let that happen.

What more do I expect from life?

Nothing. I have all I ever asked for.

/

Ok... Please keep in backmind: THIS IS NOT HISTORICAL CORRECT!

There is still one chapter to come.

Ja ne,

Mara


	15. Chapter 15  A marriage

Standard disclaimers:  
Well, you all know that I don't own RuroKen, I am just borrowing the  
characters for some fun... and you all know that I am not Saitou Tokio =^^=.

Author's notes:

THIS CHAPTER IS THE TRIBUTE TO 'THE PAST THAT ELUDES HER' BY KIEROO. THIS STORY GAVE ME THE FIRST IDEA TO WRITE A TOKIO/HAJIME FANFIC =^^= Unfortunately she deleted this story... as well as her very good Misao/Aoshi-fic.

Come back to me a while  
Change your style again  
Come back to me a while  
Change your taste in men  
It's been this way since Christmas day  
Dazzled, doused in Gin  
I'm killing time on Valentine's  
Waiting for the day to end  
Change your taste in men

words by PLACEBO ('Taste in men')

CHAPTER 15: A Marriage

13th year of the Meiji, June 26th

Time had vanished so fast... the years had passed... and now even Battousai's marriage drew near. Who would have thought that he would ever settle down? I surely had not. For me he still was wandering between insanity and guilt, and his former self breaking through from time to time. One proof more that peasants weren't meant for killing, their mind wasn't able to bear it.

Sighing I flipped through the journal filled with my accurate, curlicueless though artistic handwriting - as everyone told me, I wouldn't say this about my own writing. I had spent the last weeks writing concentrated from dawn until dusk, during night I had used a lantern.

Hajime had been annoyed about my lack of attentiveness towards him and had wondered what I was writing so absorbed that he had to force the journal out of my hands and drag me to the kitchen to prepare the meals... but I didn't want to interrupt the narrative flow I felt rushing over me. I even had started a second journal dealing with our flight from Tokyo, Kondou's and Hijikata's death we had to witness...

My eyes fell on a neatly folded kimono lying in an edge and I felt a growl building up in my throat. I had to take care of other things besides writing and stitching wasn't one of my favourites. But Tatsuo was coming of age and he needed a formal kimono. He was smaller and almost delicate compared to his older brothers, the kimono they both had worn wouldn't fit him, I had to rescale it. How annoying.

Reluctantly I picked up thread and needle and started to attach the various pieces to each other. It needed only a few centimetres of the first  
sleeve to bore me to death. Great. I felt myself looking around for distraction from the monotonous work when I heard Tsutomo and Tsuyoshi yelling in the yard, the unmistakable clanging of shinais accompanied them. Wonderful, they were back from training and Tatsuo's squeaking voice indicated that he had found his brothers and his excitement watching them.

Oh, how I wished that he would also pick up a shinai and start training instead of only watching his older brothers, but there was only little hope. Our youngest wasn't much of a warrior.

Quickly I gathered my utensils and hurried to watch over my sons training, it was the desired distraction.

As every day after training they continued in our yard, the poor maple and plum tree being dump witnesses of their efforts. They were making huge progress, they both had the right spirit.

And as every day Tatsuo was sitting aside and watching them, a bright smile forming itself on his lips as he noticed me. Immediately he jumped up  
and changed his place, in order to sit down close beside me and to lie his head into my lap. One more bad habit of him, he was far too dependent from me for my taste and there was nothing I could do against it.

Tsutomo and Tsuyoshi barely acknowledged my presence with a brief 'Hi, Mum.', both too absorbed in their fight to pay me further attention.

I observed their moves closely while Tatsuo snuggled closer and gripped my kimono tightly as though his very life depended on it. Absentminded I caressed his head and satisfied he closed his eyes.

So much for being a brave and self-content male member of this family. Maybe he was compensation for the daughter I didn't have. But there were still chances to change this fact.

I better concentrated on my boys, Tsutomo and Tsuyoshi tended to be so absorbed in fighting, that they needed to be reprimand from time to time, otherwise I'd have to deal with serious wounds. Even a bokken and a shinai, being used with the appropriate strength, could still break a bone or two.

Astonishing enough... though Tsuyoshi was a few years younger he could match Tsutomo's strength and experience. He was slightly faster, an  
advantage due to his smaller size. Tsutomo was too lanky to react in time, but he had already beaten everyone in the dojo he was training at... the moves Hajime had shown him weren't innocent in his succeeding.

"I'm back."

Hajime was home and Tatsuo jumped up to greet his father while Tsutomo and Tsuyoshi first put their shinais aside and greeted each other. Why couldn't Tatsuo be like them? What have I done wrong? Most important: whose inheritage was this behaviour? Surely neither from mine nor Hajime's.

It was our daily routine to have dinner as soon as Hajime was home, and it was also daily routine that Tsutomo and Tsuyoshi told enthusiastically what they had done this day while their father ate... while eating themselves, of course.

And, as always, I was busy refilling the tea-bowls and rice-bowls of the four gathered men. If someone of our old times in Kyoto would have seen me like that... I wasn't quite sure if they would trust their eyes. Me, playing the attentive and modest wife and mother... well, people change with age and even I have become sedate at least.

I took the chance when everyone had had his meal to heat the bath and soon, after bathing, we all were ready to go to bed.

Or more precisely: I was ready to go to bed. Tsutomo and Tsuyoshi played 'Go' though Tsuyoshi barely knew what he was doing, and Tatsuo was  
sitting upright on the table trying to recall the kanji's I had taught him today. Vehemently I refused to let them be educated in one of these 'schools' that used to pop up lately. No one besides me and Hajime should teach my sons, though this had earned me a great deal of misunderstanding from my friends. It was so much more comfortable to let others do the job. But who knew what nonsense they were taught in these schools? After all they were set up by the new government.

And what was Hajime doing? Well, Hajime was reading a report, insisting that it would be too late if he read it in two days. Wherever was the difference? He couldn't do anything about it anyway this evening.

Sighing I submitted in my fate and picked up Tatsuo's kimono again, took a lantern and sat down outside, in front of the room. This way I didn't  
feel like smoked fish due to Hajime's smoking and hadn't to endure Tsuyoshi's frustrated outbursts when he realised that he couldn't match his brother in Go. But it was a good, playful training in tactics for both of them.

Ouch! In the dim light I had picked into my finger with the needle. How I hated sewing! Why couldn't we have enough money to afford a new kimono for Tatsuo? More carefully I continued my task and soon length and width was adapted. Great!

Relieved I called for Tatsuo and as I had imagined he came immediately, he hadn't been asleep yet. Proudly he waved the papers he had filled  
with some characters. "Isn't this good, Mother?"

Absentminded I had a brief look, his writing looked always very accurate, not as awkward as it should in this age.  
"perfect, Tatsuo. You've done very well."

I caressed his hair briefly and he remembered that he had been called.  
"What is it, Mother?"

"I have scaled Tsuyoshi's kimono for your celebration. Let's try if it fits."

Tatsuo made a face, indicating me clearly what he thought of the idea always to wear the old cloths of his brothers, but he obeyed.

Ashamed I had to admit inwardly that he looked almost cute in this cloth, it was perfect for him.  
"Alright, Tatsuo-chan. It fits, we can leave it as it is."

Now he was a bit proud, wearing a cloth that showed his coming of age and excitedly he went back to his brothers, surely to show them that he  
was 'equal' now.

I breathed deeply, the annoying task was finished and the night's air was fresh, relaxing, and I also felt relieved that I was finished with the  
chores of the day.

Just when I was about to dream open-eyed about some changes I wanted to make in the garden and the house if we had money, a tray was set beside me.

Surprised I turned around, Hajime was settling against the pole beside me. On the tray was a pitcher with sake, cups and some tea. Whatever it was what he wanted to discuss, it was important and he thought it wouldn't please me. Only two times before in the years I was married to him he had made the effort to bring sake and tea for me.

The relaxing effect was gone instantly and I poured us some sake while Hajime lit the next cigarette. HUH. He waited until my cup was empty with his news.  
"My next appointment is in Hokkaido."

It would have been polite of him to have waited until I swallowed the sake. Now I choked on it. Coughing, I urgently needed air to breathe, Hajime  
continued unmoved.  
"I'll leave next week."

THAT alarmed me.  
"What do you mean, you'll leave next week?"

"Is there something you didn't understand?"

That damn smirk was killing me. We both knew very well what he had said, he had said 'I'. My displeasure wasn't deniable.  
"Hajime! You want to go alone?"

"May I remind you: 'Nothing on this earth is going to bring me back to this God's forsaken place.'"

Oh, yes I remembered Hokkaido and my comment about this place well. Very well. These small villages with its gossipping inhabitants and its solitude and its freezing climate...

But I surely didn't want to be left behind. What should I do without him?  
"At that time I didn't know that you might be sent there." My indignation was shining through my voice, so that he should notice it. I poured the next cup and put enough determinedness in my voice to make clear that he couldn't change my opinion. There was no way I could convince the Meiji government not to send him to Hokkaido... "I am coming with you. I'll start packing our things right after Himura's marriage and I'll inform our sons then." On the other hand Hokkaido surely meant a better salary as a compensation... I knew that a glimmer appeared in my eyes and a smile crept on my lips.

Just then I looked from the corner of my eyes at him and registered his smile that appeared just for a brief second... when he actually smiled, he was disturbing to say the least.  
"I see, Tokio."

Something told me that he had expected this reaction, he knew that I would follow him everywhere, even to Hokkaido and even blindfolded if it was necessary and if he guided me. I simply couldn't hold back. I leaned over and kissed him, first slightly, then he tasted the sake that still lingered on my lips and licked it away, deepening the kiss. mmm, cigarettes and sake.  
"Tasty lipstick, Tokio."

"I know, Hajime, I know." Sometimes my smirk could match his.

Thoughtfully I picked up one of the jellies he had brought along. It was formed like a Lotus, he must have bought it on the way home, I didn't  
remember having made them or having them in store. They tasted good, he must have invested some money in them. I enjoyed them a while before my thoughts wandered back to the next day.

Tomorrow was Battousai's marriage and in one week we would leave...  
"Now you'll never get the rematch."

Not that he actually wanted it, there wasn't one attractiveness left in this fight with Battousai, Hajime had been so eager to have over 10 years.  
But his opponent had gone weak, there wasn't much left of the young hitokiri in Kyoto.

Hajime snorted disdainfully.  
"He isn't more then a mere shadow of his former self. What sense would lie in a fight against an opponent like him? Ridiculous. Pathetic."

I couldn't help but laugh.  
"Don't be so grumpy, Hajime. Tomorrow is his wedding day and he invited us. There must have been a thought behind it."

"I highly doubt Battousai thinks at all."

mmm, one thing was sure, for what reason ever we were invited, we would be guests tomorrow.  
"Hajime?"

"What is it, wife?"

"I'd like you to know, that you shouldn't call him Battousai tomorrow, he still doesn't accept his past as well as most of the others there. And I would appreciate if you don't call everyone with names. Otherwise you'll be in BIG trouble with me."

"Am I allowed to say anything?"

"Of course, Hajime, of course. Just be careful not to ruin the celebration with one of your famous comments."

"Yes, Yes."

I wished I had received a more enthusiastic response, but that was the best I could get... and finally we got to bed early for our measurements, tomorrow would be a busy day.

There wasn't a chance we could over sleep, because with the rising sun, our sons would be awake, Tatsuo jumping under our blanket.

This morning the interruption was greeted and I stood while Tatsuo was pestering Hajime.

Wonderful. Soon Setsuko would come to pick up our sons and take care of them until we were back. Setsuko was surelyone of my best friends and I knew I could trust her with my life and with our sons. In addition they all liked staying with her... and playing with her children. Her house would look like after an attack when our sons would leave later this day, no doubt.

She came just in time, when they all were dressed up and took them along with her.

There was only Hajime left to dress and with some persuading he put on his hakama and kimono.

Afterwards he helped me with my own kimono and obi, there was no chance I could dress alone and Setsuko was already gone.

It was still early in the morning, but it was a long way and the ceremony would begin shortly after midday.

Soon we stood in front of the Kamiya Dojo and Hajime knocked on the gate. I had to peek behind Hajime, as always he was blocking the view other people might have on me. A remembrance of old days when it wasn't wise to have my face known by anyone, but today it wasn't useful, they would see me all sooner or later. Sometimes he tended to be overprotective.

A small boy with tousled hair ripped the gate open, and surprised I twitched. What a rude behaviour! This had to be Yahiko, the 'brat' Hajime had mentioned.

"Hello everyone and..." His jaw dropped to the ground recognising Hajime and then noticing me, the shock letting him stop in mid-sentence.  
I was really afraid that he would loose his consciousness and already prepared myself to catch him, for Hajime would surely let him falling into the mud, not moving one finger. But with a self-control I secretly admired he regained his senses.

"Please be welcome. Enter and make yourself a home." He bowed low, I assumed only because of me, not for Hajime, at least he seemed to have SOME manners. Even when it was only rudimentary, the basics. No polished and refined education that was necessary to enter high society. Noble society, of course, not the new established elite that thought only having enough money made a gentleman out of you. I highly doubted that he would ever enter high society with this surroundings, so why did I care for this brat?

While Hajime entered, me directly behind him, the boy rushed away, nearly falling over his own feet, yelling. "Kaoru, you got to see this!"

What was so special about Hajime and me?

The yard fell silent, everyone stared at us and I had to admit that Hajime was right again. Bringing our sons along with us would have caused some deaths because of pure shock. I was enough for them to digest, peeking behind Hajime at them, his body covering me and blocking my sight fully. Again.

They were all staring wide-eyed, jaws hanging to the ground, especially the men, and I felt Hajime stretching. I could literally see him smirking  
inside. He had always been proud of me, but this was topping his imagination, exactly his taste. Definitely I was the best looking female around, he  
told me later. Judging from the reactions, I think he was right.

Just in this moment Yahiko came back, closely followed by four women, Hajime had told me about them, it was easy to figure out who was who.

One had a long plait, it had to be Makimachi Misao, better Shinomori Misao for she had married some months ago. Having connections to agents and spies was useful sometimes, you got information quicker than others... and first-hand information was invaluable. The news of her marriage was brand-new.

Another one of the women looked really messed up, it had to be Kamiya Kaoru. My god, what a tomboy! I would have to help her. She could probably look very beautiful, not a hopeless case... still she lacked the refined elegance and modesty of a good education that I had already noticed in Yahiko. Tanuki was fitting to her, I had to admit. Once more I had to agree with Hajime... how annoying.

The third woman was Sekihara Tae, I recognised her waitress uniform from the Akabeko, the forth was Takagi Megumi. Both still needed to change into their formal, representative dresses, but already looked way more graceful and elegant than the poor bride.

They seemed to be stunned by my sight, so I chose to address them, they didn't seem to bother about correct manners here, so I decided it was better to take the initiative. "You must be Kamiya Kaoru or should I say Himura Kaoru?"

I needed to walk over to her and to bow -a nod was enough in this place- because she still stood rooted to the place. A real dojo-master like her  
should react quicker than this. "Thank you for inviting me and my husband, Himura-san."

I saw her blushing and bowing, she couldn't hide that she was admiring my appearance and behaviour. No wonder casting a short glance at the gathered females. Alright, I had to admit, the doctor was an exception.

"You are welcome, Saitou Hajime, Tokio. Make yourselves a home."  
At last she had her voice and her manners back, what an odd young woman.

"So, where is Battousai?" I nearly fell backwards hearing Hajime behind me, I thought I had expressed clearly enough to Hajime what I expected of him. I shot a glare at him from the corner of my eye and he cleared his throat.

"Himura." More jaws dropping to the ground and I heard some gasps. Years of training, I can tell you. But why were they so surprised by Hajime's reaction?

"He is meditating before marriage, which isn't long from now on."  
The Kamiya girl was moving nervously from one foot to another.

"Well, come on, let's get you ready, shall we? These things shouldn't be stalled on the account of late guests." I took another glance at Hajime and  
shoved Kaoru in the direction I assumed her room was.

"I would like to help in the preparations, will you allow me?"  
She seemed to be pleased and nodded wide-eyed. I looked questioningly at Hajime to get his agreement and he just waved his hand. "I knew you were going to do this."

I wasn't able to resist the call "I'll be back soon. Just socialise. It would not hurt."

I laughed and heard more gasps, sharp intakes of air, casting a glance at Hajime I knew I would pay later for this. It wasn't quite obvious to me why everyone was surprised... what was wrong with this comment? Wondering I followed Kaoru to her room to help dressing and preparing her.

Soon we giggled like small schoolgirls wrapping Kaoru into her kimono.

My task was the make-up and quickly I placed rice powder in her face, lined her eyes and painted her lips while the others were combing Kaoru's hair.

When we were finished she looked breathtaking. Well, I had known it, there was some potential in her. I decided it was time now and took the silver butterfly pin from my pony-tail.

"I have something, I want to borrow you for this day, Kaoru-san."  
They all turned and faced me.

"It is a hairpin from my mother. It is very precious to me, because it is the only remembrance I have of her. She brought this pin along with her from  
France. I want you to wear this during the ceremony, I wore it during mine and I wish as many luck and love with Kenshin as I experienced in my years with Hajime."  
I reached out my hand to give her the hairpin, but they all stared wide-eyed at me, dumbfounded. Did I say something wrong? Shaking her head Kaoru awakened from her stupor and accepted the hairpin when I suddenly realized what threw them in such utter turmoil. It were the expressions 'luck', 'love' and 'Hajime' together in one sentence. It was a concept they couldn't imagine. Hajime had been right, bringing our sons along would have caused some heart-attacks.

Misao, of course, was already cheering up "So this is why you have green eyes."

She giggled and I joined in "Yes."

Misao was peeking through the shouji and judging the development of the preparations "Let us go out, and start with the ceremony."

The ceremony itself was short, only Hiko, Battousai's master, interfered with his famous self-sufficiency right in the middle of the ceremony, but the  
meaning behind was good-hearted so nobody minded. I had recognised him at first sight, Kyoto and the mountains around had been a small place during the Bakumatsu.

The exchange of gifts took sometime as always on marriage ceremonies, and we offered wine and an ornate fan to the Himura's.  
They got rather interesting presents from the other guests as well: Herbs from Dr. Genzai, an inking and fireworks from 'Okina', a fertile goddess  
from the Shinomori's (the basic idea was clear) silk and preserved meat from Sekihara and Tsubame.

The food offered afterwards was excellent, obviously not prepared by the bride as I was informed by Hajime. We enjoyed ourselves talking about old times with everyone. I had beaten some sense into Hajime for some days and he managed to be quite friendly to Sagara. Luckily Sagara missed some naughty comments from Hajime, for he simply did not get the point.

Hiko was using his charms on EVERY halfway grown-up women in the yard, what included me, too. Visibly young girls like Misao and Kaoru didn't arouse his interest. What an odd behaviour...

Hajime wasn't very pleased with this perspective and he had a hard time to keep Hiko away from me. For some time I saw a slight chance for Hiten Mitsurgi Ryu againt Hajime's Gatotsu in the yard, but they had enough sense left not to ruin the Himura's household again. Of course that did not hinder them to exchange deadly glares the whole day and evening.

I left the two roosters alone and looked around, just in time to see Battousai giving the Kamiya girl a light kiss on her mouth, observed by nearly  
everyone.

Sagara ended the awkward situation by roaring inadequately loud through the yard "Hey now! Save all of that for later! Lets celebrate!"

I could tell with one look that Kaoru wasn't very pleased by this interruption of her kiss with Kenshin but we all greeted Sagara's suggestion and helped ourselves with alcoholic beverages.

And well, the evening and the night... the men were consuming sake freely, even Hajime as I noticed with discomfort. Though he stopped the excessive drinking he had done during the time I met him and the early days of the Meiji, he still tended to be violent when drunk. I seriously hoped that Sagara would choose his words well and that Hiko kept his hands by himself before the whole gathering ended in a blood-shed.

As I had told Hajime before I didn't want to be among the first to leave, since we would have time enough later for us alone. We had been given a room in Sekihara Tae's restaurant and we didn't need to go home this night. We had already left our belongings for the night there.

While I observed the men from a corner of my eyes, I had to divide my attention to follow the conversation of the women around me.

Misao just proudly told us everything she had done to make Aoshi smile -without success- and I decided it was time to end the charade  
"So when are you due, Shinomori Misao?"

All turned their heads attentively around, having heard my last sentence.

Hajime was about to say something to Shinomori, but a glance from me at him was enough. It would surely have been rude.

Battousai was astonished as much as Hajime, but had more manners left as he smiled proudly at Misao  
"I know you could do it, Misao."

"Uh, right when spring sets in."

Visibly she was surprised at my awareness, but who could fool a woman who had three own sons of her own...  
"I congratulate you both."  
I couldn't help, but I knew my sadness was shining through, the sake was working. I still didn't have a daughter.

Hajime shifted uncomfortably under my gaze, somehow he felt guilty because of the THREE sons I had to endure, and he reached out for the sake.

"I think Saitou has the right idea. We should drink up."  
Sagara exclaimed enthusiastically.

I got over to Kaoru and the doctor together with Misao to gossip a bit and let our men dream about 'good old times'.

As it was her manner, Misao blurted out her question directly  
"So are you nervous about tonight?"

Kaoru nearly chocked on her sake, no wonder, considering what had happened. Hajime had told me about the whole affair, tonight she and Battousai would discover if the young man had really raped her. Noticing her discomfort, but misjudging it, Misao continued  
"Don't worry, Kaoru. It will all be fine. If Kenshin makes love the way he lives, you have nothing to worry about." Misao ensured her encouragingly.  
"I am sure he will take good care in not hurting you too much."

"Hurting me?" Kaoru stammered, playing the innocent... she wasn't a good actress, but for this time and our mood it was enough.

I better interfered before Misao scared poor Kaoru to death  
"Yes, it hurts to have your virginity taken. But when you love that person it doesn't hurt at all."

They all stared at me, still the concept of me being in love with Hajime didn't get into their brains.  
"I know you wouldn't believe me when I tell you this, but Saitou was so very tender with me our first time. You wouldn't know it looking at him as he is."

Well, NOW I received glares from Hajime, though he surely couldn't hear us, he knew quite well what I was telling. I would have to pay for that later... as for many other things this day. Though it wasn't 100% the truth I had told, it had the desired effect: Kaoru was distracted from her misery.

But Misao couldn't keep her mouth shut.  
"Really? Aoshi was rather rough on me, my first time. But it wasn't cruel or mean. It was just the moment that seized the both of us and gave us  
the most wonderful experiences of our lives. We both wanted to hurry" as if Hajime and I hadn't be alike... "and see what was on the end of the  
tunnel. Afterwards, we just considered ourselves to be married." She laughed nervously, exposing this all to us, but she wanted to share it and continued "My only regret is, that he hadn't smiled for me yet. But he smiled like an idiot, when I told him that I was pregnant."  
Misao lovingly rubbed her belly.

"Misao, I would like to hear this story someday." Kaoru said sincerely. Well, she surely had a need for romantic stories like this.

Our rants as well as the one of the men continued for quite some time, but soon Sagara choose with his incredible lack of tact the most vulgar good-bye I could think of.

Megumi accompanied him to make sure he got safely to the Akabeko and soon Aoshi and Misao followed what left me and Hajime behind with Kenshin and Kaoru.

NOW Kaoru looked panicking and I gave her the last sake  
"Here, drink the rest of this, it will warm you from inside."

Gladly she accepted and with incredible speed she drank the last pitcher. Well, it hadn't been my intention to make her drunk, but if it helped her...  
"Better now?"

She nodded thankfully and I snuck a glance at Hajime, who was more then ready to go. Then I realised the glimmer of lust in his eyes *oh, so that's how it is, Hajime* I nodded him to signalise my readiness to leave...and my readiness for his intention.

With some last words of encouragement to Kaoru I left the Kamiya dojo together with Hajime.  
"Goodbye, Kaoru. I will come to see you again. Have a good night."  
There was no way on earth I would ever be friends with this naive girl, but it wouldn't hurt to keep some contact.

"Good night, Batt... Himura."  
Even Hajime had kept his promise, even when it was only for this day.

The walk to the Akabeko wasn't far and soon we had reached our place for the night. Happy to be alone with Hajime, even when it was only for one night, I dropped everything possible. The mischief glim in his eyes became stronger and finally I found myself on the futon, undressed as well as he was. I guess we behaved like little kids, like the time when we first had met and we were just at the beginning of enjoying ourselves.

It was just then, when I had found a very special sensitive spot on Hajime with my mouth, that the shouji to our room was ripped aside and someone was leaning lazily at the frame, observing us. I nearly choked on my occupation.  
"Hey! Should you be doing this in her condition, Mr. Ice?"

It was maybe one of the few times I was really shocked. The inexpressible. The mistake made by Sagara this time had crossed the line... obviously he thought we were the Shinomoris, confounded with the rooms. To say Hajime was upset, was an understatement. He was furious. Throwing  
a blanket over me and beaming up was one fluid movement  
"Oh, really? What condition is that, moron?"

Maybe Sagara was more shocked, scared to death than I had ever seen someone. If there hadn't been a wall behind him, he would have fallen  
on the floor. "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, God damn it!"  
He yelled down the whole house, I thought I would be deaf by his voice as he started to bring some space between him and Hajime and ran away.  
Maybe he thought Hajime wouldn't kill him in front of witnesses.

"I hope I don't remember it tomorrow. URG!"  
Sagara exclaimed while rumbling down the stairs, Hajime already closely behind him... Hajime only with a small blanket around his hips. I better  
watched for them and quickly I threw the yukata over me.

I came just in time to witness Hajime knocking the sake pitcher out of Sagara's grasp. Maybe this was for the best, the young man had already  
had enough alcohol. Hajime's voice was matching Sagara's in loudness  
"I want you to know you have embarrassed my wife. I should kill you, moron!"

Embarrassing me? Sometimes Hajime was incredible sweet... no way I would ever tell him.

Well, Hajime was fuming mad and I prepared to interfere, but one of the other men stood between the two contrahents.  
"I really don't know what happened, but it will stay between you and him."  
With that the young man punched Sagara as hard as he could, knocking him out. In this stadium this surely wasn't a difficult task.  
"See, all better now."

Hajime was still trying to get his rage under control, it was for sure not easy with the sake in his veins.  
"Hajime?" I almost whispered, but he heard me. "Come back, this isn't worth to disturb our evening."

Grumbling, with a last rough foot-kick at Sagara, he submitted and came back to me.

It took me some time to get him back into the mood he was before the interruption, but this being one of the scarce nights we were without  
our boys, I didn't want to have our fun spoiled.

Tomorrow we would be back in our house, we still could sleep and recover there... and in some days we would leave for Hokkaido.

But about this maybe in another journal.

Saitou Tokio

/

started: February 2002  
finished: December 2002  
first posted: January 9th 2003

I hope you liked it =^^=

Ja ne,

Mara


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